Religious Celebrations in school

[ClippitiClop]

DS is 4, in reception. He goes to a great school, we are in London so very diverse intake of kids. The school has no religious affiliation and when we asked at open days how religion is taught and celebrated they told us that all religious holidays are treated with equal prominence with the exception of Christmas as it’s also a cultural holiday in the UK - fair enough!
Yesterday was DS parents evening. We got to have a look at work they have done so far this year while waiting to speak to the teacher.
Not many religious holidays have happened since school started but in September they did “celebrate” Rosh Hashanah (Jewish).
They read books about how Jews celebrated the holiday, tried some exotic fruits (I’ll be honest I’m not sure of the relevance here), along with Apple and Honey (traditional I believe), and did some related crafts.
The teacher mentioned on Friday they are celebrating Diwali, themed lunch for all students and other in class activities in the afternoon. All great - right?

Well DH has decided he thinks it is insensitive, he feels like it is allowing the children to pick and chose which parts of a religion to engage with (the “fun” parts). He thinks celebrating Eid for example would be offensive as it comes at the end of fasting, he doesn’t see why anyone who hasn’t participated in fasting should be able to “just” join the fun celebration at the end. I pointed out it’s really no different to Easter for most and he claimed it’s different as there are secular aspects to Easter (quite frankly he’s very much partial to a lamb dinner and chocolate egg at Easter!!).
DH thinks it would be better if these religious holidays were taught but not necessarily celebrated in the school. He thinks this should include Easter, Eid, Rosh Hashanah, Diwali etc. (though he feels Chinese new year is fine as it’s more cultural than religious). He agrees with the school that Christmas is different.

AIBU to think DH is being silly and it’s totally fine (actually a positive) that the kids are getting to learn about and appreciate other religions, in a way that is engaging and in my opinion respectful (feel free to disagree). Or is he right, picking and choosing which parts of a religion to engage with is insensitive?

If you are religious (Muslim, Jewish, Hindu, Christian or any other) would the way the school seems to celebrate these holidays offend you? Would you rather they only taught and not celebrate? (I appreciate you can’t speak for your religion as a whole but curious none the less)

If the school is simply teaching/celebrating the nice bits of religion and not the rest then yes I'd be concerned. But you can't really teach the resurrection without the crucifixion, and Eid isn't such a feast if you ignore the Ramadan that came before, or Pesach without the bit about being slaves in Egypt and the angel of death. And at age 4 I think its much easier to understand the celebration part.
Would he prefer they make the pupils fast during ramadan or kill a lamb and paint blood on their doorposts in their RE lessons instead?

they are 4 years old how much information do you think they take in?

Understanding religion is essential, being indoctrinated is unacceptable in schools particularly... this sounded more like a fun learning lesson

As a Christian who observes lent I have no problem with people celebrating Easter. If it was done in school and the meaning of Easter was taught I'd find that preferable to the Easter bunny. I hate Santa and the Easter bunny

Your husband is (politely) being a bit of a d*ck.
Is there anything useful you could give him to do around the house?😁

I love learning about all the cultures and religions, I think it fosters better understanding.

Your DH is an idiot. You can't teach a four year old entire religions that have developed over thousands of years. I'm in my 30s and don't know about every aspect of my own religion let alone others.

I think it's a lovely idea to "celebrate" other religions. Think it's just a way of being engaging when teaching. I am Jewish and would be more than happy about other kids starting to learn about it by learning about Rosh Hashanah. I wouldn't even think that it's that exciting a festival to be honest. (the exotic fruit thing is because on RH you're meant to eat a fruit that you've not had that year so most people will pick some wacky fruit)

My two year olds childminder is mostly Jewish kids (not officially but because of location most, if not all, are Jewish) and yesterday they were "learning" about Diwali ie colouring in Diwali related pics.

You do it at the level kids can engage and they learn more as they get older

The children are FOUR & FIVE. If you want to get their attention and have them start to understand the varieties of religions, they need to enjoy the fun bits.

Your DH may not be religious but he has a distinct tint of puritan about him. Is he joyless in other ways?

I am going to guess your DH sees it as a form of cultural appropriation. Personally I think it’s a fun way for children to learn about other peoples beliefs whilst getting to enjoy the celebratory aspect.

Your last paragraph made me laugh 🤣

Do 4 year olds from Muslim families fast during Ramadan anyway?

My family is Catholic and I know that actual fasting obligations in the Catholic church don't apply until the children are teenagers. Maybe children would give up chocolate for lent or something, but probably not at 4 or 5.

no 4 year olds don't fast it's around 11 or 12 .

Although on a side note I’m not a great fan of poppy wearing as it glorifies war

Where on earth do you get that idea? We wear a poppy to remember those who died. Hence Remembrance.

In Flanders fields the poppies grow
Beneath the crosses, row on row.

They shall not grow old, as we that are left grow old
Age shall not weary them, not the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun, and in the morning
We will remember them.

Your little lad is 4!!! He has 14 years of education ahead of him, experiencing the “fun” part of different religions isn’t going to harm him or offend anyone, I’m sure.
I grew up in multicultural city in the 60s but no other religion but CofE was mentioned or allowed, ( in school or home) probably did my generation far more harm.

I agree with your DH. I don’t think it’s offensive but I do think it’s intellectually and morally incoherent. My DC went to a church school which has given them a solid grounding in Christian religious philosophy, including critiquing it (we are not religious). They also learned about other important religions. I don’t think the problem is about ‘celebrating’ vs ‘learning’, it’s more the pick n mix. How will they grasp the central philosophies of any of these religions?

Op, there are plenty of areas in the UK where other religious celebrations have crossed over into cultural, its a bit narrow to say its just Christmas

I’d want to be sure that school were teaching religion in a depth, not just eating funny food, decorating the room and having a sing-song. It’s nice for cultural understanding but it’s a bit shallow. 4 year olds are actually natural philosophers ime. They love grappling with big questions.

Wait for a full calendar year to pass, and see which festivals are marked in school before assuming they are being unfair.

What other festivals between the start of the school year in September and the date of your visit have been unfairly omitted?

(Diwali is late this year, so might not have yet been mentioned, as it's not untilthis weekend)

Still teaching. Our classroom is decorated with owl stuff because they read an owl book, learned about birds of prey, dissected owl droppings etc. They do a topic, they decorate.

I’ll stand corrected then, I can’t think of any personally (we live in a diverse area, I don’t know any other “cultural” celebrations which have evolved from a religious one (okay Easter, pancake day etc but these are still Christian).
Eid is celebrated by many of our neighbours but I don’t know any non-Muslims who would celebrate unless invited to do so.
Same for Diwali.
If elsewhere this isn’t the case, I’m sorry, but could you give some examples, genuinely keen to learn!!

It might be interesting to see how they commemorate Satanism, and the Church Of The Flying Spaghetti Monster (pbuh).

@Moonmelodies that probably comes up in Key Stage 4 (the GCSE years).
My daughter is Year 11 and she was telling me the other day that she's "no longer Jewish but a Spaghetti believer" 😂
(We aren't Jewish)

@Ahtishoo they will do that when they are a bit older.
4 year olds have an attention span of about 10 minutes for learning. If food is involved it might get stretched to 15.

As far as I'm aware there a certain people who aren't required to fast during eid, pregnant women , children and the sick. These people still take part in the celebrations when the fasting is finished . Your husband is being ridiculous

It’s great for kids to know about other religions. I have no idea what I learned at 4, but our school was quite Christian (70s) and I think later we did learn more about other religions.

The only difference for me was secondary school at a private convent where it was Christianity and nothing else (despite the fact that pupils from other cultures and religions went there).