Religious Celebrations in school

[ClippitiClop]

DS is 4, in reception. He goes to a great school, we are in London so very diverse intake of kids. The school has no religious affiliation and when we asked at open days how religion is taught and celebrated they told us that all religious holidays are treated with equal prominence with the exception of Christmas as it’s also a cultural holiday in the UK - fair enough!
Yesterday was DS parents evening. We got to have a look at work they have done so far this year while waiting to speak to the teacher.
Not many religious holidays have happened since school started but in September they did “celebrate” Rosh Hashanah (Jewish).
They read books about how Jews celebrated the holiday, tried some exotic fruits (I’ll be honest I’m not sure of the relevance here), along with Apple and Honey (traditional I believe), and did some related crafts.
The teacher mentioned on Friday they are celebrating Diwali, themed lunch for all students and other in class activities in the afternoon. All great - right?

Well DH has decided he thinks it is insensitive, he feels like it is allowing the children to pick and chose which parts of a religion to engage with (the “fun” parts). He thinks celebrating Eid for example would be offensive as it comes at the end of fasting, he doesn’t see why anyone who hasn’t participated in fasting should be able to “just” join the fun celebration at the end. I pointed out it’s really no different to Easter for most and he claimed it’s different as there are secular aspects to Easter (quite frankly he’s very much partial to a lamb dinner and chocolate egg at Easter!!).
DH thinks it would be better if these religious holidays were taught but not necessarily celebrated in the school. He thinks this should include Easter, Eid, Rosh Hashanah, Diwali etc. (though he feels Chinese new year is fine as it’s more cultural than religious). He agrees with the school that Christmas is different.

AIBU to think DH is being silly and it’s totally fine (actually a positive) that the kids are getting to learn about and appreciate other religions, in a way that is engaging and in my opinion respectful (feel free to disagree). Or is he right, picking and choosing which parts of a religion to engage with is insensitive?

If you are religious (Muslim, Jewish, Hindu, Christian or any other) would the way the school seems to celebrate these holidays offend you? Would you rather they only taught and not celebrate? (I appreciate you can’t speak for your religion as a whole but curious none the less)

Muslim here, dc is also at reception and since nursery, they have celebrated every religious and cultural celebrations. I think it's great from a young age he is exposed to all religious and cultural festivities for future understanding and respect because after all they will be living and integrating in their communities. They all do the fun stuff and love it and sometimes parents are asked to contribute.

See, your husband's attitude is exactly why RE is taught in schools. I've lived and taught (secondary) in a wide range of diverse areas - and had neighbours AND staff colleagues who aren't remotely religious but still "celebrate" aspects of their faith culture.

For example: I've had Jewish colleagues (who never went to synagogue) who regularly observed the Passover traditions at home. I've had Muslim colleagues who join in Eid celebrations without having fasted (and who are so non-observant that they drink alcohol regularly, for example). When I lived in Southall, our ostensibly Hindu neighbours celebrated Diwali (and brought us food round to enjoy) and didn't go near their religion except for festivals and weddings.

It's a narrow-minded and somewhat patronising idea to think that it's only Christian traditions that are celebrated by people who aren't otherwise religious.

Couldn't disagree more with your DH. If anything it makes the parents/ kids of that religion feel more included/ seen in the school life and I personally really appreciate that their classmates are exposed to the joyous side of our faith and understand it, so that my kids also feel seen and understood by their peers. It was horrible when for a few years a key religious celebration went without mention and my kids felt noone else cared but so much fuss was made of other celebrations etc and they almost felt isolated like this ,so I took it upon myself to go in and do a fun activity or two with their class. It opened up such positive dialogue with other parents who got to understand the faith more not just the negative aspects they associated with it. So no I thinks its fabulous.

A Muslim friend of mine from a European country was visiting London when Eid celebrations were taking place and he was amazed how inclusive the public events were and very happy that all sorts of people were taking part, not just the ones that did fast.

I read this earlier but didn't get a chance to reply.
My DD's school reformed their teaching of RE when they joined an Academy Trust a couple of years ago. Now from reception - Y4 they do each of the "big 6" religions every year (Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, Sikhism and Buddhism) (half term each, one class per week so only maybe 7/8 lessons all in).
Then in year 5 and 6 they do a full term deep dive into each of the religions which involve a trip to a Synagogue, Mosque, Gurdwara, Hindu Temple, Church and the local Buddhist Temple/Centre. These trips are a highlight of the school year for the Y5/6s, the children love sharing their religions with each other and parents love joining these trips. They do it on a 2 year cycle so Y5 and 6 are studying the same religion at the same time to add to the feeling of collaborative learning.

Beyond this every year, Jewish New Year, Diwali, Hanukkah, Christmas, Chinese New Year, Holi, Eid etc. are all celebrated in school too. Holi is a particular favourite with all the colourful powder (kids are sent to school in old clothes).
We are Atheist, lots of our friends are religious and even at 9 DD knows who is what religion, how the celebrate and loves asking about their celebrations.
No one is offended by any of this, the school is a happy, inclusive, nurturing place where all beliefs (cultural, religious or otherwise) are celebrated equally. These are all trademarks of a fantastic school!!
Your DH is being very narrowminded and giving off a "White Saviour" vibe.

I think your husband has a point. Religion isn't just about the parties.

It wouldn't offend me that you can join in the celebrations without prior participation.

All religions are made up nonsense anyway

They are talking and acknowledging festivals which for primary school children Is appropriate and I'm sure they do a bit of background into the festivals just like they will talk about the Nativity at Christmas.

But as I understand it children under 14 don’t take part in fasting before EID so that thought process doesn’t hold up about people who don’t fast shouldn’t take part.

maybe he needs to do sone work on understanding Ramadan, Eid and Diwali. Not to mention other religions.

its letting kids learn and he is wrong in my opinion

Not all Muslims fast before Eid, there are several reasons why someone wouldn’t be required to and being a little child is one of them.

I think it’s great that they decorate and do fun stuff for these celebrations- Christian children get to have crafts, decorations, a disco, Santa visit, a small gift, put on a nativity/concert at school for Christmas- why shouldn’t children from other faith backgrounds get a bit of that?

Also, it’s good for all children to learn about all religions- their history and their significance in society etc- religion is a massive influence and factor in world politics.

But when these things are studied in schools they will be looking at the religious significance behind things in an age appropriate way.

just like when schools do Christmas it will include looking at the Christmas story and it’s significance for Christian.

No- but the celebrations of major world religions are on the national curriculum for 4 year olds.

Plus, it doesn’t actually do anyone any harm. Many many people have a roast and an Easter egg at Easter without having given up anything for lent or been to church on Shrove Tuesday, Ash Wednesday, Maundy Thursday, Good Friday or Easter Sunday… I don’t think that is damaging to the religions or adversely effects Christian people.

I think there's a certain type of atheist (NAAALT), that assume other people are way more religious than they actually are.

Being culturally rather than devoutly [insert religion here] is common and normal in most societies.

When small children learn about religion in schools they are mostly learning about culture, most easily accessed via the festivals that are widely celebrated by the non-devout.

It is when you are 4.

So is your DH concerned on behalf of followers of the ‘celebrated’ religions ? Have any Hindus or Jewish people complained? He is an atheist but considers Christian ‘celebrations’ ok because it’s the UK? He may want to consider the implications of this train of thought, it’s a bit us and them isn’t it?

I'm Jewish and frankly delighted to hear that they learned about Rosh Hashanah, which is a really important holiday, and not just about Hanukkah, which is a very minor holiday but is the only one many non-Jewish people have heard of as it happens to be celebrated around Christmas time. My kid is the same age, and to be honest what most Jewish kids are learning at age 4 about Rosh Hashanah is pretty much the same - dipping apples in honey, and they probably also learned about the shofar (ram's horn). This sounds great - they are discussing a bit of content and enjoying traditions. As long as it's presented respectfully as "this is X people's holiday" and not in some kind of appropriation, it's really great IMHO.