To have a sulk over this comment in bold

[dreambream]

DH: I think we need to decommission the babygrow DC is wearing. It's too tight around the legs.
Me: you shouldn't have put it on her if you felt it was that tight
DH: you could have taken it off her too
Me: I didn't put it on her
DH: it was tight on the legs, you could see there was no give
Me now feeling irritable: if I had seen it I would have taken it off, I wasn't paying attention. I guess this is how we learn as parents. Next time you feel like it's too tight, just don't put it on her, you don't need to tell me.
DH: you didn't need to give me all that commentary, you could have just said 'fine'
Me: Fine.

Perhaps it's immature of me, and I need to learn how to deal with my irritation better. But I haven't spoken to DH since and he's now downstairs building some flat pack furniture. He asked if I was annoyed I said no and that I was going to bed. DH is the King of avoidance so not a chance he will ask again. And I shall sit here and stew and think about how much of a knobby comment he made.

Sulking won’t help anyone.

I’d be very pissed off if DH put then left out baby in clothes that were too small and probably uncomfortable.

Are you both tired and grumpy? The “how we learn as parents” comment is extremely patronising but he’s been extremely passive and lazy.

I’d let it go. Stringing it out won’t improve things.

God how annoying 😂 Go to bed, have a lovely rest and start afresh tomorrow. What a melt he is.

To be honest I agree with your dh unless there is some sort of back story to this. His first message sounds neutral (just saying to not use that baby grow anymore) whereas yours is blaming him. And then he blamed you in return and it went on an and on.

No backstory. We were having dinner after he was home from work. My day was a shitstorm.

I think he's adding to your mental load. He could have taken it off her and put it away. Now you have to remember to look out for it the next time it's washed and dried and put it away yourself. Times every item of clothes she has

You kind of started it though with “you shouldn’t have put it on her”.

If I got that comment it would get my back up and then your follow-up was patronising. So yes, his remark was then pissy, but kind of understandably so!

You have a small baby though which brings out the best in no one. Say sorry, let him say sorry and give each other a cuddle.

I'm tired and grumpy.
DH is probably tired. He's probably grumpy following my patronising comment, although I didn't intend it that way.. but who will know if DH is grumpy? Not I. Because DH can't express his emotions even if his life depended on it

He tells you something then you put the blame on him. He retaliates by putting blame on you.

Watch those sentences that start with 'You'

DH: I think we need to decommission the babygrow DC is wearing. It's too tight around the legs.
Me: Can you take it off her now then please? I'm busy putting the flatpack furniture together.
Fixed it for you

Why lie about being okay if you’re not? That is immature. Just talk to him. You once loved him enough to want to make a baby with the man. Put some effort into healthy honest communication. It’s not having kids that wrecks marriages, it’s this sort of petty shit.

My edit should have included DC is now down for the night which means we can't really take it off her.

Well he’s doing the physical load right now tackling flat pack furniture while she stews…

I would love to be someone who can say 'im not ok' the first time. It is massively dumb.
Everything sucks today

Good lord what a palaver about nothing!
I presume the baby grow isn’t actually causing your Dd harm? Or serious discomfort?
It was a throwaway, small talk comment.
Why all the drama? Just a ‘oh yes it is isn’t it’ would have done. With maybe a ‘go and find another one will you?’ If it actually needed changing immediately.
And in a classic case of Mumsnet double standards you’re now giving him the silent treatment and no one’s told you you’re being abusive yet!
If you’re that annoyed to not speak to him for hours then tell him that.

Sounds like normal stupid petty bickering that happens with a small baby and tired parents.

However, why should he ask again if you're annoyed? Bit rich of you to call him the king of avoidance when you've told him nothing is wrong and are now sulking in your room. That's far more childish and petty than his stupid comment.

Flat pack furniture - make it once
Be responsible for every item in child's wardrobe and rotate items in and out as necessary - never ending. (Well, I imagine until the child is 14?)

"decommission" what a complete twat.

Oh I know these “we need to” comments.

They mean “You need to. I’ve delegated, it’s now your job.”

They give me the rage.

My response would’ve been “Sure, can you make sure it goes in the charity/storage bag tomorrow”. Make it his problem again.

I've lost count of the number of times I've dressed DS in something only to find it's got a bit small for him. I never change him there and then cos he's a grouchy bugger and every nappy change or change of clothes sends him loopy. I just try to remember to put it in the charity shop bag after washing it rather than in his wardrobe. Shes not gonna come to any harm in a slightly too small baby grow.

You two just end up wasting an evening bickering or ignoring each other. A babygrow isn't worth the hassle imo.

because DH can't express his emotions even if his life depended on it

Here's your issue, the attitude. You could have said OK. One night isn't really going to hurt.

So you're criticising him for not being able to express his emotions to you while you sit upstairs and stew and don't express your emotions to him? You see the irony I assume?

His comments seem fine to me. He started with "we" rather than assigning blame but you went straight into blaming him with the "you". You're supposed to be a team so don't take your bad day out on him. Unless you want to wake up one day and realise that you're now a team of one.

Just cut the feet off.

You'll get another 6 months wear out of it.

<<Wise aul crone>>

I used to love never bitching about my DH. And thought I'm not going to be that woman that whinges about her husband. You wouldn't believe the number of MN threads I've made about him since DC. Under a bunch of different usernames because I always feel like it would be so sad if someone saw they all came from one person. He makes me so furious. Maybe that's a better backstory @WimpiestMum

Why have I become such an angry person 😫😫😫 DH's zen like state drives me up the wall

I'm getting scissors right now

Jesus I'm annoyed just reading that, firstly who the fuck says they are 'decommissioning' a baby grow.
Secondly, how did it become your fault that HE put a baby grow on that was too small.

DH: I think we need to decommission the babygrow DC is wearing. It's too tight around the legs.
Me: decommission? You mean give to the charity shop? (You jumped up twat)

DH: you could have taken it off her too
Me: Are you incapable of changing her clothes?

DH: it was tight on the legs, you could see there was no give
Me: so why, if I can see there is no give, did you not notice? (you muppet)