To have a sulk over this comment in bold

[dreambream]

DH: I think we need to decommission the babygrow DC is wearing. It's too tight around the legs.
Me: you shouldn't have put it on her if you felt it was that tight
DH: you could have taken it off her too
Me: I didn't put it on her
DH: it was tight on the legs, you could see there was no give
Me now feeling irritable: if I had seen it I would have taken it off, I wasn't paying attention. I guess this is how we learn as parents. Next time you feel like it's too tight, just don't put it on her, you don't need to tell me.
DH: you didn't need to give me all that commentary, you could have just said 'fine'
Me: Fine.

Perhaps it's immature of me, and I need to learn how to deal with my irritation better. But I haven't spoken to DH since and he's now downstairs building some flat pack furniture. He asked if I was annoyed I said no and that I was going to bed. DH is the King of avoidance so not a chance he will ask again. And I shall sit here and stew and think about how much of a knobby comment he made.

@Hibiscrubbed
Why should the daily fixing of the loo seat which the OP says he does regularly without mentioning it, be his job?

Couldn't have written anything better! 😂

That was my first thought.

Alright, our girls are all grown up now, but if I thought something was too small for them I'd not put it on. I'd say to my wife 'babygro too small, I'm not putting it on' and she'd probably agree. We'd probably have bigger ones as well, anyway (cos babies grow )

I don't think OPs first response was too bad, all she said was 'but you put it on'.

Why would anyone with an iota of intelligence put something on a baby that was too small/tight? Hardly fair to make the baby uncomfortable.

You both are petty as fuck.

Hope you have a better day today @dreambream

He didn't. Read what he said again. It was a perfectly normal conversational observation that didn't require anything from a specific person. We all make those kinds of observations every day, at home or at work.

It takes a degree of mental gymnastics to decide that he was demanding that OP fix it. The kind of mental gymnastics that no-one here would use had a woman said it.

Perhaps he needs to decommission that as well, if he has to fix it every day?

Not much good at anything, is he?

Alternatively

DH: we need to decommission banjos as it’s too tight
me: yeah you’re right let’s make sure it goes in the pile of old clothes

sorted

you’re being petty

DP pulls shit like this all the time. Last week he changed DS’s nappy then said to me, his thigh looks a bit sore so you should put some metanium on him next time you change him. Me: bad enough he needs more than what you’ve just put on?! Him: I haven’t put any on, I’m telling you?

He would also say decommission. Twat.

The person doing the task who notices there’s an issue deals with the issue. I cannot imagine a circumstance I’d wrestle my kid into a too-small babygro then tell my partner to take care of it?!

This. Your response was snippy when "ok" was all that was required.

but you are tired, struggling and therefore grumpy. It's fine and it happens a lot during the parenting years! You just have to learn to be honest and learn how to move on from these things.

I'm getting scissors right now

I hope you didn't cut the feet off whilst your DD was wearing the baby gro 😂

Parenting is tough. I don't think anyone comes through it completely unscathed.

I think it's a very accurate comment, not just a kind one. Nobodies at their best when exhausted or stressed aka raising little kids. It'll all come out in the wash.

I'm finding this post somewhat ironic given that he asked if you were annoyed and you said you were fine.

I don't think either of you covered yourself in glory here @dreambream

Your partner's original comment was fairly innocuous. He basically just said "That baby grows getting a bit small, let's chuck it tomorrow", and you decided to snap at him rather than just agreeing. He then got defensive as a result.

Not great communication on either side but you started it.

I'm guessing there's backstory though.

Decommission?
Is he a bomb disposal expert?

This really is not about a babygro. You need to talk to him frankly, perhaps suggest therapy? Your resentment is causing problems, so the underlying issues need to be addressed.

Wow. You sound very uptight OP.

So DH asked you about the cause of your strip and you said nothing? And he’s the king of avoidance? Life really is too short to get her up about this sort of thing. Save your ire for things which really matter-or you’re both going to be shoring up a whole load of resentment in your marriage.

‘I think we need to decommission that baby grow’

‘Yeah, let’s make this the last outing. Whoever takes it out of the wash, just stick it in [wherever grown out clothes go]’

And move on.

He didn’t need to tell you the babygro was too small. But he is not wrong, you could have just said fine.

Thank you everyone for your responses.

I did go downstairs for a hug, but the mood immediately lightened because he was doing the flat pack topless because the room was too warm and I had shut the door earlier so the noise wouldn't travel up. We had a hug and chatted about an ISA for DC.

I think my biggest lesson here is the way lots of you have said my response was argumentative/combative etc. I think I might need therapy. I don't want to be snippy and I genuinely couldn't see that for myself, so that's been useful (albeit a little worrying). I think I am a very grumpy person. Much more so than DH. and also I don't always realise how I'm speaking to DH is maybe annoying or argumentative.

And, DH took the babygrow off this morning when changing DC's nappy. I didn't have the heart to snip off the cute bear feet (and also when I got to it realised I was too scared to use scissors on the babygrow whilst DC was actually wearing it).

DH overslept and so is working from home, he did breakfast with DC while I got a lie in. I am very lucky to have him and I am going to make sure I get some therapy.

Thanks for the update @dreambream . Is discussed an ISA a euphemism...

Such an overreaction.
It's a pretty run of the mill comment. Many times one of us will have dressed the baby and said to the other 'oh looks like this will be the last wear, it's getting tight'.
There was no need for your snippy response back really.

Sadly not

Well done @dreambream . It's not every poster that listens to advice on MN.
Lovely to read your nice update.

I'm really glad that this thread has helped @dreambream . I think that getting some therapy is a really good idea. As you recognise yourself, your reaction really wasn't justified, and you deserve to feel more relaxed and happier. And of course (although plenty of mumsnetters want to make him the villain!) your DH needs to be able make innocuous conversation without risking decapitation!

The best of luck, and all power to you for taking responses on board positively.

You're probably fine as you are @dreambream without needing therapy. Everybody can have an off-day and I'd be grumpy if someone said that we needed to decommission a babygro