To be sad my dd won’t have a sister?

[ajarintennessee]

She has two older brothers, but for me and all around me wiht friends and cousins and aunts I see that special place a sister or several holds, and I’m so sad for her she won’t have that. It’s dhs call that we are done with babies and he’s just not very sensitive about things, which doesn’t help. Tell me of your close lasting relationships with brothers to make me feel better! (I have brothers too but it’s not the same)

As I said I have brothers I'm very close to and also had friends with brothers. They've always got on brilliantly.
I can guarantee that when they're all teenagers your DD and her friends will fancy her older brothers mates. This was definitely the case as I was growing up. Those who had older older brothers were very popular! Haha.

I have a sister and she’s vile. Haven’t spoken to her in 3 years so doesn’t mean they would have been close!

Dd is nearly 4 years younger than her next brother, and another 3 years to the one after that, it’s a bit old I think. I totally agree for older brothers who are 1-3 years older! But if it’s 15 & 19 etc not so much, fine when they are all in their 20s I guess.

Agree with others that personality is far more important than sex. I think me and my brothers are close because we're just so alike. Same sense of humour, same interests, same world view. It's irrelevant that we're not the same sex. I could have had a sister who was nothing like me.
My best friend has two older boys and a girl. The closest out of these three siblings are one of the boys and the girl. It's because they're very alike and just rub along nicely.

Now there will be a flood of people telling me what rubbish, as if the age gap counts, 14 year old girls can absolutely date your 19 and 22 year old sons, don’t be so ridiculously naive op 😁😁

I was thinking more about friends growing up. I was always really jealous of a couple friends who were really close to their siblings. They were all less than 2 years apart in age. Most people I know with larger age gaps don't seem to be as close

Maybe it would help to define what it is you think makes the sister relationship special. I can only think of 'close' activities that you can also do with a brother e.g. share the same taste in music and go to gigs together, WhatsApp about your days and jokes, cry to them when your relationship breaks up, steal clothes, especially the androgynous sports style that is now back in fashion .

I don't have a brother but I've been told the above (minus the WhatsApp of course!) were a big part of my mum's relationship with my uncle, especially in her twenties.

I've only seen one really close sister relationship where they were each other's best friend but it didn't look any different to the above, so it is personalities and not sex/gender.

The other poster who said it's up to the parents to cultivate strong relationships between siblings had a good point. I think traditionally girls may have had their interests paired off away from their brothers so they didn't get a chance to grow strong relationships with all their siblings who have similar personalities.

I don’t have a sister but I have two really close friends who I met in primary school. We chose each other and that outweighs dubious genetics.

My SIL has a terrible toxic relationship with her sister - 18 months apart and they’ve always been in competition ( encouraged by the parents). It’s uncomfortable to be around them, although they would say they’re close.

You need to learn to make good relationships with the people you actually have.

My Sister and I got on well when she was very small ( I am nearly 6 years older than her), But by the time she was 9 or 10 that had changed ( not unreasonably given the age-gap). We never got the closeness back and it got worse and worse - and we haven't been on speaking terms for years now

If your DD had a little sister they might, or might not, have a lovely relationship. Think it's very common for Sisters in particular NOT to get on. Probably more so than those that do.

So try not to feel sad she hasn't got a sister. She does have brothers, so not an only child.

I have a big brother. We were really close as kids and remain close as adults. I don’t recall ever wishing I had a sister. If I had, I doubt we’d have been doing each other’s hair and make-up or going on shopping trips together because I’m not and never have been into those things. My brother and I played Lego together and when we were older, went to the pub together to play pool or go to a gig.

I have a DS and a DD who have always been close, even through the teen years. They tell each other stuff they don’t tell us, their parents, and I’m so glad they have that close bond.

You’ll find all sorts of variety in life. I know sisters who are best friends and sisters who never speak to each other. Same for sets of brothers and mixed sex siblings. All are individuals and it’s impossible to predict how their relationships will develop.

I have 2 brothers, both of which i'm very close with, always have been, 1 especially (we've very close in age) and I would honestly be lost without them.

But I do hear where you're coming from, I have at times felt a bit disappointed about not having a sister because all my close friends have sisters and most of them are very close to their sisters and it definitely seems to be a best friend for life relationship that i don't think you really get anywhere else however I have also noticed there is a lot of bitchyness and drama that seems to come with sisters (even ones that are close) which I don't think you get with a brother/sister relationship. I'm a very practical and resilient person and I genuinely think a lot of that is to do with growing up with brothers. If I had the choice, I would keep my brothers over a sister any day.

I have a brother and a sister. I speak to my brother every day, my sister. Once a year at best. My brother is my best mate.

I couldn’t agree less. My brother is one year older than me and though we get on fine, I wouldn’t say we are close. We were as little kids, but actively hated each other as teens and as adults we just tick along ok. I do get on very well with his wife though.

I have 3 sisters who I would say I am close with, though the one closest in age to me I find the most irritating! Just different personalities who love each other but also annoy each other. My two little sisters who are 7 and 14 years younger than me I actually get on with the best. We’ve just got more compatible personalities.

Tbh it comes down to personality more than age gap or gender really once you’re adults. Whether your kids are close or not OP will probably just depend on them as individuals.

It’s fine to be sad about it - but not TOO a sad because she can make female friendships that will do the same job.

Other that the fact you might have had another boy, or if you’d had a girl they might not have been close, no one gets everything in life, so this is not something to dwell on.

I was fairly close to my sister growing up but after our late teens we’ve been more distant. We see each other every couple of weeks and some weeks I don’t hear from her for a while. She sees her friends more than she sees me. We are also both quite different people too.

DD is very close to her brother. I have two sisters - I see one occasionally and have cut off all contact with the other. I have a few very close women friends. There is no guarantee that siblings will like each other or be close.

That’s a good question and hard to define. Kathy Lette is an author who wrote an article on the joys of having sisters which made me cry, I’ll dig it up and see if it helps me verbalise it! It’s not due to being encouraged into different areas, and we all except one brother have actually gone into really male dominated fields, we were all supported to be whoever we wanted to be. I’d say the same about my mum and her sisters.

I have 2 brothers and no sister.

My brothers and I get along really well. Both brothers now have spouses, so I have 2 sisters-in-law, which is lovely.

As children, it didn't matter that we weren't the same gender. We still played together all the time!

I have the most wonderful stepsister, you could find another bloke?

I’ve got the same as you, 2 boys followed by a girl. To be honest it’s never occurred to me to feel sorry for her!

I have an older sister and a younger brother. I am and was equally close to them growing up. My dd is only 1 but she adores her brothers I don’t think she is missing out on anything by not having a sister.

OP I felt exactly as you do for years. DD has two older brothers. I have three sisters I love. So sad she didn’t have a sister.

I mentioned it when she was 15 and she looked at me in genuine confusion. Said she wouldn’t want a sister, her friends argue with theirs, she loves being the only girl and only granddaughter and loves having brothers, and SHE feels sorry for ME because I never had a brother. (I never wanted a brother, I thought boys were loud and horrid when I was young.)

So yeah. I felt vaguely sad about something for years that she never cared a jot about and wouldn’t change, and I never missed the thing she feels sad I never had. DD will be fine 💜

We all played lego together, my sisters and I didn’t wear makeup and I’ve gone on one shopping trip with each sister in our whole life. One was to buy one sister a dress for my wedding which she wore once again, accidentally backwards, and lost travelling
home so then she didn’t have any dresses again. Im finding it hard to explain the difference but it’s really not at all that we are girly women and want to talk about weight and makeup and clothes.

Thank you @LulaK , that’s lovely to hear (I do have lots of brothers too 😁)

My life with my sister. We fought like cat and dog growing up. Our teen years we just about ignored each other. Our twentys we saw each other a bit more and grew closer. Our thirtys we were super close. This summer both in our fortys and we aren't talking as she cut me out after I had a mental health episode. I've been blocked on social media and not seen her for months.

I’ll run it by my Dh, but I think I know what he will think about that plan 😁