Aibu to not help Scouts…

[SecretsOfSunshine]

Name changed as identifiable.

Ive caused a bit of fall out, and didn’t expect it. I’m a bit of an accidental scout leader, not the main Akela but there weekly. My children went through scouts, the youngest is aging out. I’ve always been happy enough to help, I like kids. It’s not however something I’m hugely attached to either. I stayed mainly as they were short of leaders, and I enjoy it enough when there.

A parent complained that at camp they are feeding and housing the adults, we don’t pay to attend camps and we do eat.

Group section leader agreed, apparently other local packs do charge leaders for food over the weekend.

I didn’t get funny or stroppy, but I did say I’m out for camps. I said I don’t mind giving up my time, but it was a line for me to give up my weekend and pay for the pleasure. If I ate at home (large family) my food costs no where near the cost as the difference between cooking 5/6 portions is absorbed in the weekly food bill the same. Plus the scouts tend to overbuy and spend a lot more than is really needed tbh.

Another leader has now contacted me to say how strongly they disagree with me, also that I’m jeopardising the camp as they are already short on leaders. GSL has implied if I’m not committed maybe I should leave. Parents are moaning apparently.

The more I think the more pissed off I am. Tbh I’m ready to leave anyone between the increase in behaviour issues and local politics in the district. Camps have a horrible side of severe sleep deprivation and I also sometimes lose work shifts going or family commitments.

Is it really normal to begrudge volunteers their food and board in exchange for a weekend away for £50 and amazing activities laid on? I know when I was a teacher we were also included in costs spread among the kids. With 30/40 kids it’s hardly the bulk of the bill either

YANBU

what a petty, entitled knob that parent is.

I'm also not sure where @Bacarach is getting this misinformation from.

Good grief. I volunteer for a charity and get travel expenses and my lunch reimbursed. Volunteering is hard work and you're often using professional skills.

I would bow out gracefully and see how they cope.

And that’s called consequences of their actions!

People like you who give up so much time for youth groups are absolute SAINTS,

OMG. That's terrible, poor kid and thank you for stepping in. I think you are right to step back, if it's not giving you any reward and you are absolutely reasonable to expect to be fed and not pay for it !

DH has a reasonable amount of contact with District. He doesn't know a SINGLE troop locally who does charge leaders for camps. The only exception to this is international camps.

Play silly games, win silly prizes. I say you cheerfully quit and make the most of all your new found free time

Where are you getting this idea from?

I'm pretty sure that Scouting runs in the same way as Girlguiding in this respect and therefore EVERY adult volunteering on an overnight or a residential absolutely WILL have had an enhanced DBS check done, and will have completed basic safeguarding training as an absolute minimum.

There's no way I, as a parent of a Cub, would begrudge the leaders/volunteers food. Some people just love to complain. I think the leaders/volunteers are amazingly generous to give up their time for camps etc.

Feeding volunteers should be the bare minimum.

Bow out, if the parents are given this they'll ask for more, soon you'll be paying the kids to go.

The entitlement is just off the scale.

Leave and don't look back.

I'm disappointed but not surprised about the parental complaint. I've seen posts on here from parents who genuinely think that staff should have to pay to accompany school trips. I invite them to spend a sleep-deprived week in a foreign country in loco parentis for fifty teenagers who are absolutely DETERMINED to escape supervision in order to buy vodka and sneak into each others' rooms and then see if they are prepared to revise their opinion.

Eh?

Scout leaders are vetted. In fact I am not a leader but chaperoned a bus load to camp last year and had to be checked just for that

I'm shocked at parents attitude! No wonder there is a shortage of volunteers if that's the attitude.

I would step down too.

My boys were at every camp as they loved scouts. I was always so grateful to the leaders and would give a wee gift at Xmas in thanks. I knew how much time and effort was given for little reward

In fairness £50 for a weekend with activities is about right ime.

Just asked DH how much his camp (that I budgetted £6.50 a head on food was). He said by the time he'd paid camp site fees, activity fees, gas and other costs (not quite sure what they were) and paid for all the adults it was £42 each. And we REALLY tried to drive the cost down because the camp was our troop which is fairly affluent plus we helped another troop from district out because they didn't have the resources to do it otherwise. This helped to keep the costs down even further.

The point there is its £42 with all the adults paid for. For two days child care and food thats pretty damn good by anyone's standards. Its a lot of money for some people still, but it really was a low as we could get it.

The £50 won't just been on food.

I've been on a number of school trips. Some were in comfortable accommodation, some not so much.

I have never given up a week of my time and been expected to pay anything for the privilege.

They can get lost!

And suggest some parents go along to supervise (after paying for their own DBS check!)

YANBU. Leave them to sort it out. You’ve volunteered for years, someone else can setup now.

Step up, not setup. 🤦‍♀️

Take this as your sign to leave. The camp will still go ahead, as they will guilt someone else into doing it. Keep it short and sweet; "I am unfortunately unavailable for any future camps going forward, but thank you for the opportunity/memories etc". Mic drop. Done 😁

When I was a Guider, I had to give up a week's holiday to take my lot to Camp. No way was I or any of the other VOLUNTEERS paying for food. And no way did any of the parents expect me to.

Yanbu
Let the moaners who objected to subbing your food costs volunteer their own time and money. Yours is not under their control. You are not under any obligation to volunteer and it's not you who is "jeopardising" the camp, but the individuals who decided to make volunteering a more unpleasant experience. Too damn right you don't have to pay for the pleasure of a camp. It's work. They should be on their knees in gratitude not begrudging you a free plate of canpfire stew.

I don't do Scouts, but I am an official for two different sports which take up whole days at a go (one was my sport which now my eldest has started, and I took up the second one once my youngest started getting serious in it). I get paid in food (and eternal thanks), the cost of which is added onto entry fees. We even occasionally get a bottle of wine as a thank you, again coming out of the entry fees. The events which made you buy your own lunch soon found out they weren't getting enough officials, as for some reason we were all unwilling to give up our time for free without even getting a tepid cup of tea and a bacon roll, and that's before the mileage and days off work were considered.

At this point you very politely step back and enjoy your weekends again, and suggest to any parent who kicks off that perhaps they would like to come along and help in your place.

If you do want to continue to volunteer for Scouts I'm sure there are many other packs who would welcome you and not expect a contribution. The Scout pack my son went to didn't, nor was any parent stupid enough to suggest that the leaders should pay anything towards their camp attendance, we were only too grateful that they would put up with the children long enough to take them on camp, organise it all etc.

Yeah, fuck them.

Another leader has now contacted me to say how strongly they disagree with me, also that I’m jeopardising the camp as they are already short on leaders. GSL has implied if I’m not committed maybe I should leave. Parents are moaning apparently.

Well, it's a parent who has jeopardised the camp, not you. Tough titty.

As an ex brownie leader (left because my job changed to shifts, rather than for any other reason) I'd say that if I could 1) Choose my own meal, so sod if the children decide they fancy the gammon and chips I would've had at home, they get theirs and I get mine 2) Have my usual glass of wine with my meal 3) Eat my meal as I normally would, in front of the tv with no one talking then SURE I'd pay for my own food on camp.

Obviously, none of those are possible. You can't relax to eat your meal, you will be interrupted by many children spilling drinks, needing something, and obviously you won't have a wine. That is exactly why you're not paying for your food, IMO

OP you are absolutely not being unreasonable!

I used to be a cub scout leader. I found that many of the parents were ungrateful and demanding. They treated scouting like cheap childcare and didn't appreciate that the leaders were volunteers who were giving up their free time (usually after a long day at their actual job and leaving their own children at home with a spouse) to enrich other people's children's lives for free. Scouting also isn't a cheap hobby for volunteers. I was regularly out of pocket for craft supplies and snacks because the group just didn't have the budget and I didn't want the kids to miss out or have a sub-par experience. The few camps I did attend, leaders did not pay and that was entirely fair. Why would I spend my weekend looking after 30 children who are not mine, cooking, building camps, supervising activities and then cleaning up after everyone and carting everything back to the hut UNPAID and still pay for the privilege? The camp was still far cheaper per cub than anything the schools could have provided. If parents want leaders to pay then leaders should receive compensation for their time.

I didn't go back after covid because I couldn't deal with the parents and I know the group still struggles with finding enough volunteers and I'm not surprised.

Another one saying YANBU and they are bonkers. What entitled parents who are effectively getting a weekend of childcare for not very much