Aibu to not help Scouts…

[SecretsOfSunshine]

Name changed as identifiable.

Ive caused a bit of fall out, and didn’t expect it. I’m a bit of an accidental scout leader, not the main Akela but there weekly. My children went through scouts, the youngest is aging out. I’ve always been happy enough to help, I like kids. It’s not however something I’m hugely attached to either. I stayed mainly as they were short of leaders, and I enjoy it enough when there.

A parent complained that at camp they are feeding and housing the adults, we don’t pay to attend camps and we do eat.

Group section leader agreed, apparently other local packs do charge leaders for food over the weekend.

I didn’t get funny or stroppy, but I did say I’m out for camps. I said I don’t mind giving up my time, but it was a line for me to give up my weekend and pay for the pleasure. If I ate at home (large family) my food costs no where near the cost as the difference between cooking 5/6 portions is absorbed in the weekly food bill the same. Plus the scouts tend to overbuy and spend a lot more than is really needed tbh.

Another leader has now contacted me to say how strongly they disagree with me, also that I’m jeopardising the camp as they are already short on leaders. GSL has implied if I’m not committed maybe I should leave. Parents are moaning apparently.

The more I think the more pissed off I am. Tbh I’m ready to leave anyone between the increase in behaviour issues and local politics in the district. Camps have a horrible side of severe sleep deprivation and I also sometimes lose work shifts going or family commitments.

Is it really normal to begrudge volunteers their food and board in exchange for a weekend away for £50 and amazing activities laid on? I know when I was a teacher we were also included in costs spread among the kids. With 30/40 kids it’s hardly the bulk of the bill either

It’s like it’s been flagged as something unreasonable like we’ve been cheating them

Frankly I'd be out of there for the rudeness alone

At least one other leader agrees and the group section leader

In which case they're being very foolish; when they're already short of leaders, how do they imagine it'll help if they put off others who perhaps can't affford to sub them?

I've been involved in voluntary work all my life and have never - literally never - expected helpers to put their hands in their pockets. The real gift is their time, but unfortunately, among the many stars, scouting does attract some odd types (the appeal of a little authority and a quasi military uniform perhaps?) whose views won't mesh with the normal majority's

Oh I can relate to this! I help run a sports club at a council owned facility. There used to be a full time, paid coach employed jointly by the council and our national governing body but they were made redundant a couple of years ago. It was a big blow but several of our coaches have since upgraded qualifications to ensure that we can continue to run our club activities and we are still going strong. But the transition period was difficult and whilst most of our members were completely reasonable and understanding, there were occasions when I came close to physical violence with a few moaners (who needless to say weren't offering assistance.)
The irony is that the council are now concerned about under use of the facility as, surprise surprise, all the other work that used to be done by the paid coach such as school sessions are no longer happening. Now who could have predicted that. Volunteers can't do everything.

My DH was an Assistant Scout leader through default and would come home exhausted after scout camps: visits to A & E ( again parents away for the weekend with no cover) no sleep etc etc. The thought of him PAYING for the "privilege" of attending makes me rage for you. Id bow out with easylikesundaymorns message - if scout camps get cancelled then it really isnt your fault

Wowsers. All 3 of my kids go to Beavers/Cubs/Scouts and have done for years. This had never even crossed my mind! How ridiculous.

My DD's all did Guides and went on a camp to Switzerland. I assumed that the Guiders and leaders were paid for and was shocked when I found they were all paying for themselves. I made sure they knew how much I appreciated them and the the opportunities they gave the girls.

As for the idea it is your hobby and therefore you should pay for it - how many of them have hobbies that carry such huge responsibility and benefit others more than themselves!

If your group is so political and unpleasant you are much better off without it.

OMG! So you look after their dear darlings for a weekend and they begrudge feeding you a sandwich! Unbelievable cheek!
I always buy the adult volunteers a box of chocolates each to say thank you. They went without sleep to give my child a weekend of fun!
Pack this group in. If you still want to volunteer then look at Brownies or something. Perhaps if camping gets cancelled the parents will have a rethink on how entitled they are!

Absolutely not. I volunteer with girlguiding and all my expenses are covered! I wouldn’t give up my time AND be expected to pay for the privilege. What an absolute joke! I can’t believe these entitled parents complained! Why don’t they give up their time to take these kids on camp? The cheek of them. If any of my parents dared to complain they’d be told their child wasn’t being forced to come and if they didn’t like it they could just not send them

YANbU and you are not responsible for other people’s feelings. If there is disappointment at the camp not going ahead the root cause is the entitled, complaining parents.

I was chair of the PTA for years, we had a really good set up and people saw us as a positive addition to the school. Over time more and more entitled parents started moaning about things, we weren’t doing this or that without stepping forward even for an hour once per year (insert excuses here). It put off all the new volunteers and at the end of the summer term the PTA closed in its 50th year. Volunteers had come in all background, some SAHM with one child, some who worked full time with 3 kids; but everyone had the heart to give something and make time because it mattered. Once the moaning started, and rhe “I can’t possible volunteer because…” started along with lots of slagging off of the people who did volunteer, the PTA stopped.

I manage volunteers for a charity and volunteers are so, so, SO valuable and needed for things to run. But how they are treating volunteers is appalling. Expenses are a well known barrier to successful, long term, volunteering. They’re going to be on to a loser if they think charging people for giving up their own time is the best practice.

Fuck them. Tell them exactly why you’re leaving too. Hopefully when they can’t get enough dogs bodies together to run the group they’ll realise they’re making a mistake and change the policies back.

I knew it would be an affluent area too, it’s always the same entitlement.

My boys went through scouts and I thought the camp leaders were absolute bloody heros! Giving up a week of their holiday to take other people's kids to camp???! Of course they shouldn't be paying for the food. Most of us used to take them vast amounts of treats to get them through the week. They play an incredible role and help our kids have an amazing time. If that's the thanks you're getting, I really would leave and let them get on with it. The pack leaders should be helping to manage the parents (bonkers) viewpoints too. There's no way you should be paying to give up your own time. This is the reason why they are so short of helpers no doubt.

Yeh, I’d quit. Fuck them.
You are giving up your sleep free time and far more. If they can’t extend to covering your food then what’s the point.
If the camp is at risk with 30mins, that means there are 60 parents who can step up to help out.
Honestly, quit. It’s not your hobby you pay for, they just view you as free childcare.

Oh and don’t let them guilt trip you either. Point out the reason they may have to cancel the camp is through their own exclusionary actions to volunteers.

If your time is so valuable that the trip can’t go ahead without it they should probably reflect on that.

I’m extremely appreciative of our Brownie Leaders and football coaches. I wouldn’t do it so I’m pleased others will step up and I’d happily pay more so I don’t have to.

All I did when my son was small was volunteer to go on day trips. It was horrendous and I was always relieved to get off the bus at the end of the day! The kids were so noisy. I couldn’t imagine a whole weekend, and to have to pay for the privilege, it would be a big fat no from me.

Time to pack it in op
You are not wrong theyre very ungrateful and entitled

They are being ridiculous, and have just given you plenty of reason to call it quits now your child is older.

i don’t blame you for leaving. I would too.
It’s the realisation that all your kindness in volunteering has gone completely unnoticed. And as if that wasn’t enough, the interference is that you’ve somehow been financially benefitting and that other people have been bitching about it.

I volunteer with another organisation but similar and we never charge our volunteers for food or board on a trip unless an international abroad where we might ask for a contribution or fundraise to cover these costs.

Do you have a division or area leader who oversees all the scout groups in the area that you can discuss this with?

Scout leader here - we don't ask leaders to pay and I certainly wouldn't if asked.

The camp is at risk of not going ahead because of the parent raising the question. If they are so keen, why don't they sign up to be a leader?

I'm with the PP who said to tell em to shove it!

You're a volunteer, not an employee - you are well within your rights to tell them to fuck off. Even if it's the norm for volunteers to pay for their own food at a Scout camp (which sounds like shite to me), that doesn't mean you have to agree to that and continue to volunteer. The leader needs to wind their neck in and stop guilt-tripping you over something you are in no way obliged to do.

I am so sorry that it is not appreciated scouting / girl guiding us so valuable and the children are lucky to have volunteers who run these amazing opportunities.

Residentials with schools is often the same. Not even a thank you but at least we’re being paid for some of the time away. Some parents seem to think we’re having a holiday and all off on a jolly.
I love a residential, it’s one of my favourite things but I have had 5 thank yous in 20 years. And I can remember the parents who said it because I was so surprised!

PTA is the same - some people work REALLY hard and do loads but others just criticise. We had to cancel the Christmas fair one year as we didn’t have enough volunteers to run it. All the staff had signed up for the whole evening to run stalls but hardly any parents as they “wanted to come and enjoy it” so we had to cancel. And pretty much all the complaints were around “why can’t the teachers do it?” We bloody well were!!!!

Does the person complaining know that leaders are volunteers? A family member wa a leader and they had one parent who was a pita - but it became obvious that they assumed the leaders were paid sontheybgot put right on that score!

I totally agree with you, but an alternative approach might be to start charging the scouts for every single journey you make on scout related business, every phone call you make, every piece of paper you use ... I would be prepared to bet this would massively outweigh the cost of food for a weekend.

I'm a Guide leader and have attended camps for years. We never ask the leaders to pay. The thought of it is outrageous. If it were suggested that we should, that would be my cue to walk away. The parents will soon shout when camps / days out etc don't happen because the number of volunteer leaders has dropped.

Both my children are at Scouts / Explorers and I would hate to think they have to pay to take my children away. Having a free weekend of food is the least they deserve.

I'm quite shocked that there is not a national policy on this. Then everyone knows before they join/start to help out where they stand.

Leaving it up to individuals makes it very uncomfortable for the person like you who points out paying is an unreasonable expectation.

Join the Army cadets instead - you not only get fed, you also get paid for weekends and camps (it's not technically 'pay' due to volunteer status)