Aibu to not help Scouts…

[SecretsOfSunshine]

Name changed as identifiable.

Ive caused a bit of fall out, and didn’t expect it. I’m a bit of an accidental scout leader, not the main Akela but there weekly. My children went through scouts, the youngest is aging out. I’ve always been happy enough to help, I like kids. It’s not however something I’m hugely attached to either. I stayed mainly as they were short of leaders, and I enjoy it enough when there.

A parent complained that at camp they are feeding and housing the adults, we don’t pay to attend camps and we do eat.

Group section leader agreed, apparently other local packs do charge leaders for food over the weekend.

I didn’t get funny or stroppy, but I did say I’m out for camps. I said I don’t mind giving up my time, but it was a line for me to give up my weekend and pay for the pleasure. If I ate at home (large family) my food costs no where near the cost as the difference between cooking 5/6 portions is absorbed in the weekly food bill the same. Plus the scouts tend to overbuy and spend a lot more than is really needed tbh.

Another leader has now contacted me to say how strongly they disagree with me, also that I’m jeopardising the camp as they are already short on leaders. GSL has implied if I’m not committed maybe I should leave. Parents are moaning apparently.

The more I think the more pissed off I am. Tbh I’m ready to leave anyone between the increase in behaviour issues and local politics in the district. Camps have a horrible side of severe sleep deprivation and I also sometimes lose work shifts going or family commitments.

Is it really normal to begrudge volunteers their food and board in exchange for a weekend away for £50 and amazing activities laid on? I know when I was a teacher we were also included in costs spread among the kids. With 30/40 kids it’s hardly the bulk of the bill either

I absolutely agree with you but don't get how they've arrived at the £50 food cost either? If as you say the cost of your meals as 1/6th of your family is very small over a weekend, then the cost of your meals as 1/40th of all the adults and kids going to camp is even more negligible? Like a tenner at most!

I'd be tempted to say 'Yes of course we should be stricter about costs incurred, glad someone has finally brought this up. Shall I transfer my £50 for food and accommodation first and then get the refund for my £250 for a shift's pay lost, childcare for my own kids, petrol expenses, etc? Or shall I just take the £50 off the £250 you are going to send me? Whatever's easier!'

But in reality I'd probably say 'To be honest as x is aging out of scouts I've been thinking of finishing anyway so now seems like a good time to bow out. After volunteering for X years it's probably time to spend some time with my own kids! Thanks for all the memories, I hope you have fun at camp, I'm sure you'll have loads of volunteers fighting to take my space as it's such fun and £50 is such a tiny amount to pay for a weekend! I'm only sorry I took up an adult space for so many years, if I'd known so many other parents wanted to go I would have stepped down years ago and let someone else have a turn!'

(If you are less passive aggressive than me you could tone that down a bit!)

Bloody cheek! I used to volunteer for the PTA and it was the same- Parents who cant be bothered to do it themselves complaining about how volunteers aren't doing enough, or aren't doing it right, complaining when things don't happen then running in the other direction when asked to volunteer their own time. I would never volunteer for a child based activity again. My kids have done all the Beavers/cubs/scouts.My DS is now a young leader. I would never complain that I was paying for scout leaders/ helpers to go away on camp for free!

YANBU.

My DC love cubs / scouts and I am eternally grateful to the leaders for what they do.

Stand firm. They are being ridiculous. I bet total food cost for the leaders would be around £50.

The GSL sounds an arse as well.

On another note about babysitting… the amount of parents who chose to use it as an opportunity to go away together. Go to the other end of the country or something for the weekend and leave no one to pick up the child in an emergency. Shows how they view it! As childcare. I once spent 11 hours with a child and signed consent for an operation for parents who had left no one nearby. Broken leg requiring surgery, not in an activity but a really unlucky trip that could have happened anywhere

Yes do this! Bill the Beatch!( Im still traumatised by my time on the PTA)

I chair the Trustees for our Scout Group and we'd never expect the leaders to pay.

We fundraise and call in favours with the local butcher and baker for Group Camps to get the costs as low as possible for the kids as well.

YANBU. As a volunteer, you pay them with your time and energy which you absolutely don’t have to do. The least they could do in return is pay for your meals when you’re away for the weekend helping them!

Firstly thank you for being that parent who volunteered to do scouts. A saint in my opinion.
My DC adored scouts.
I would have been happy to PAY YOU to go as no fucking way would I go.
Some people are so entitled.. have they volunteered?
Time to take your valuable time and energy to another deserving charity or cause.

I ran guides as a student and in my early 20s. I could not have afforded to pay for unit camp. A big National or international trip is different and does normally have a leader price (which is fair enough).

i can’t believe a parent complained or someone thought you should pay for the pleasure of volunteering. My daughter has her first brownie sleepover coming up and I’m beyond grateful. I’d happily bung in some extra for the leaders to get a dominos if asked- I can’t imagine how anyone could begrudge you getting a share of a chilli or something.

Do they demand that teachers pay for their own food on residential trips too? Or is it just volunteers that don't get paid at all?

'Also ours is a generally affluent pack, lots of money.'
Always the richest that are the most tight and entitled.

My children used to be in another youth group. We had local family camps where adults paid to attend as part of a family rate and everyone (adult & child) chipped in with jobs. But if we were away as 'leaders', as part of the ratios, no way did we have to pay. It was covered by the group.

It's bonkers otherwise: discriminatory and the path to extinction. Plus, as well as the sleep deprivation, I bet some or all of the leaders have given up additional time to do safeguarding and food safety training, as well as paperwork and maybe risk assessments?

Fuck that for a game of soldiers.

I don't think yabu. My dh is a leader (not main leader) with the cubs section. He's always running around after work to get bits for the activities each week. He gives up his time free of charge.. I think covering the cost of your food etc is fine. Both my DCs are in cubs/scouts. I have no problem covering the cost of the leaders. They're giving my children a good time!! Do they parents realise you are an unpaid volunteer.

You’re totally not being unreasonable.

One of the reasons the volunteer led playscheme I used to chair (all properly run and registered) didn’t reopen after covid is that at the last AGM a parent “flagged” (their word) the unfairness of volunteers getting free trips and free snacks coming out of the funds. Given that they were getting 3 hours a day childcare, rated as outstanding by Ofsted, for £10 a week including said trips and snacks it was a serious slap in the face.

It’s quite amazing that as volunteer numbers drop everywhere (because people have to work more) people actually seem to have higher and higher expectations of the volunteers that are still around.

Disgusting attitude. They've gone and shot themselves in the foot. I would tell the other leaders why you're stopping.

I would be gone in a shot. I volunteer for my kids sports team and it is bloody hard work. We do weekday training, weekend matches, organise a couple of trips away a year and hold some fundraising events. If any parent complained like that after all we do for their kids I would be gone, it is a thankless enough job and always the same people that volunteer for these things. The parents should be paying you for a night our after putting up with their kids for a weekend. They can shove their guilt tripping, not your problem if the trip doesn't go ahead because of lack of leaders, maybe if they treated them and valued them better they wouldn't be so short.

Tell them to shove it. You give your time for free. They begrudge you some food.
Ask the moaning parent to take your place.

I'm angry on your behalf OP, fuck them

I can’t believe someone complained about this. Well, actually I can believe it because there seems to be no shortage of entitled fools out there, but it is astounding that people think you should be putting your hand in your pocket.

As the parent of a scout I would be horrified to find out the leaders were paying rather than us absorbing the costs.

This is why I insist we look at volunteer time as being equivalent to £10 an hour. It really knocks people's perspective.

OP, time to leave this lot. They don't deserve you.

Fuck the grabby bastards. Send them a petrol bill too.

What did I eat last camp? One day was one fried egg bap, a salad wrap with an apple and satsuma, a portion of spag bol and a smore (there was more food options for the scouts, btw, I just had the above out of choice). I bought my own coffee from home.

How about I chip in a £10 for the food and the parents can pay me for my time? Is that more fair for the parents?!

£10.42 (min wage) x 24hrs of camp surpervison = £250.08 per 24hr hour period where I am responsible for the young people.

My DH is a leader at Cubs and the amount of time he has given to them is amazing, he started because our Son was there and when our Son moved to Scouts he stayed because otherwise they'd have had to close. If they even suggested he pay his own way I'd be horrified. That's such a bad attitude of the parents.

I walked away from scouting for that reason. No way was I willing to pay for the privilege of being on call 24 hours a day with little sleep and having responsibility for so many young people at all times.

Conversely I have been involved with Girlguiding for over 10 years and have never been asked to pay to volunteer.

Absolutely outrageous of them. So parents get babysitting and education for their kids from unpaid volunteers, and then begrudge your meals at camp? I'd leave and find somewhere that appreciated you better. Gobsmacked.