Told teens mum she was drunk in a field!

[Stephjo35]

I have a daughter who is 14. She's a good girl,typical teen always had a lovely bunch of friends.

We live in a village for context,and a local festival / fete was on in the next village along.

We took all 3 kids, 14 11 and 7. When the time came I went home,but teen wanted to stay with her group of friends she had bumped into. Yes no issue.

However she called me a few hours later to collect her,as she had become separated from the group. Once I collected her she informed me a friend had taken vodka and was VERY very drunk somewhere without parents. She said the girl had been thrown out of the event and she had no idea where she was.

Undoubted I did the right thing,and called the girls parents and told mum the situation. I was looking for the girl but couldn't find her.

Girl eventually made it home,being 14 she was in alot of trouble. The idea of what could have happened was awful and I felt bound to call her Mum.

However,my poor daughter has now been kicked out of the friendship group at school. She's labelled a snitch and nobody will talk to her.
She is so angry with me,and now hands school. Every morning is a battle getting her into education. These girls are bullying her.

Was I in the wrong calling the Mum? How do I make things right with my own teen? I feel so guilty to my own child,for trying to protect another. Did I over step the mark?

I just wanted to say thank you,you response was so helpful and kind.
I have said to her similar,I told mum because being drunk and alone in a village is unsafe at 14. However I respect she doesn't want me to get involved in this bullying situation,so I guess I have to stay out of this one.
I have told her how proud I am of telling me. I know it's rough without the full story,but I had told my girl NOT to leave the event. So she did as was instructed,I know it makes her appear thay she abandoned friends etc,but wasn't like that.
Equally, agree with you,is she perceived as the goody two shoes cause she wouldn't drink with them.
Like I said,thanks for the comment,your answer was a great support!

This brought a little tear to my eye.
I just want her to see how proud I am that she followed my rules,stayed safe and let me know the dangers.
However little miss is just angry with me,and I do understand why!
Am SO so angry about the bullying,but as I said in another comment,she doesn't want me to involve myself this time..and I feel like I should respect that! Tough eh x

That mother behaved appallingly blabbing it was you. This is the thanks you get for safeguarding her dimwit daughter. Leave her in the field next time.

So agree with this.

A decent parent would be so grateful to have been called.

There is no way a decent parent drops another child who was worried, in it.

She is a disgrace.

I would be contacting the school and giving them this information.

I feel so sorry for you, and your lovely daughter.

Any parent with a bit of cop on knows that "there but the grace of god go I", when it comes to teens.

I've heard enough and seen enough to know, you NEVER know when your own child can surprise you!

Crikey. Imagine how you'd feel if you hadn't said anything, and she'd choked on her own vomit, lying in a field. Imagine how your DD would feel if she hadn't said anything and the same had happened.

You both know you did the right thing, and that the consequences are totally unfair on your DD.

If your DD has any confidence, I'd suggest she just say "Next time I see you lying in a field about to die from choking on your own vomit or alcohol poisoning, I'll just leave you there then." That said, I could never have said anything like that at her age.

Hopefully it will all blow over before long.

You did nothing wrong at all the other girls parents handled it wrong they should never have mentioned your daughter. Being a village fete could have been anyone that had told the girls parents.

The more I read about this group, the more I think your daughter needs to be as far away from them as possible! They don't sound remotely like friends, they sound like the school bullies who've had a convenient target they keep on hand. I also wonder just how much drinking is going on.

From a 14 yr old perspective they probably want to occasionally do things their parents wouldn't approve of and they don't want your daughter ruining it.
Even if it blows over, if the others are wanting to drink/go off with boys etc she would most likely be put in situations again where she might feel uncomfortable but not dare saying anything again. There is also more risk now to put pressure on her to join, so she would be in trouble too, if she talked. I would have a chat with your daughter whether she would still be happy in that friendship group. If she thinks about it from that angle she might not feel so annoyed anymore.