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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Relative burned through funds and now mooching

660 replies

coldcallerbaiter · 04/11/2023 22:41

AIBU to get involved? I have not said too much to him yet

So my cousin lost his parents in his 20s and got easily a million pounds in those days. He is around 60 now. Never had a job, playboy lifestyle in the Far East, womanising, divorces, no kids. Now he is back in the UK and has nowhere to go. Will not admit he is skint but then hints to live with my elderly mum in her spare room. He is not entitled to benefits as he never lived here and did not pay in or get credits. I do not know if he will even get a state pension later on. I think he should get a job and pay his rent somewhere but I doubt he will as working is beneath him, especially as it would be unskilled stuff, he wants to mooch off her. He has expensive tastes too and is in and out at night probably to bars. My mum is now phoning me worried in case he will not leave, also her quiet life is being disturbed

They are actually close as she was like a mother to him before he left to go abroad and were in touch all the years with visits.

OP posts:
Greenberg2 · 17/11/2023 18:46

saraclara · 15/11/2023 21:28

You know he is a creep from your daughter.

No, @billy1966 her daughter finds him creepy. That doesn't mean he IS a creep. Kids and teens find a lot of people 'creepy'. Sometimes they are, but it's just as likely that they're just funny looking or maybe autistic. Teens don't have much tolerance for people who don't fit.the norm.

Maybe he is and maybe he isn't, but to say that OP "knows he's a creep" is not accurate, and it's dangerous to jump to that.

Nah.

I remember being a teenager and it's reserved for a particular type of man who exudes lasciviousness. Odd bods might be called weirdos but not creeps. @billy1966 is spot on as nearly always and you aren't as usual.

MermaidMaggie · 26/12/2023 20:47

@coldcallerbaiter

Have you managed to get the situation resolved? Hope it hasn't been too stressful for your mum.

Original poster
coldcallerbaiter · 26/12/2023 20:59

MermaidMaggie · 26/12/2023 20:47

@coldcallerbaiter

Have you managed to get the situation resolved? Hope it hasn't been too stressful for your mum.

Thanks for asking! He did not come over to mine for Christmas but he is moving out from my mums on the 2nd Jan.

OP posts:
ThePoshUns · 26/12/2023 22:05

That's good news OP, I hope you and your Mum have had a good Christmas

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 26/12/2023 22:09

LaurieStrode · 04/11/2023 23:37

This is a case where I'd be tempted to hire three big strong blokes to stand over him until he packs and moves out.

Can't abide an entitled moocher.

This, with knobs on.

Riverlee · 26/12/2023 22:23

Good update.

T1Dmama · 27/12/2023 10:31

Wow he’s taken his time!

Cosmosforbreakfast · 27/12/2023 17:34

I just hope come 3rd of January you're not still trying to get him out OP. Fingers crossed for you and your mum.

DriftingDora · 27/12/2023 22:09

"He will be there for Christmas but I think he has to go after".

Yeah, right, that worked well. Good luck with getting him out, OP. You're going to need it.

longtompot · 29/12/2023 11:56

DriftingDora · 27/12/2023 22:09

"He will be there for Christmas but I think he has to go after".

Yeah, right, that worked well. Good luck with getting him out, OP. You're going to need it.

From the op Thanks for asking! He did not come over to mine for Christmas but he is moving out from my mums on the 2nd Jan

DriftingDora · 29/12/2023 13:17

longtompot · 29/12/2023 11:56

From the op Thanks for asking! He did not come over to mine for Christmas but he is moving out from my mums on the 2nd Jan

Show quote history

Oh, of course. He's such an honest, upright, moral character that he's bound to go on 2nd Jan. 😆😆

Did he say which year?

AcrossthePond55 · 30/12/2023 16:40

I admit, I'm just posting here for 2 Jan update.

Good luck @coldcallerbaiter I hope everything goes to plan.

Original poster
coldcallerbaiter · 30/12/2023 22:01

Haha countdown to the 2nd.

The wheels are turning with arrangements.

Its not the end of the matter even when he leaves. He has laid it on thick already, saying he might as well be dead as he is running out of money. DM suggested he get a job (security guard, cleaner etc) he looked at her blankly. Him getting a job, how absurd.

OP posts:
DriftingDora · 30/12/2023 22:08

coldcallerbaiter · 30/12/2023 22:01

Haha countdown to the 2nd.

The wheels are turning with arrangements.

Its not the end of the matter even when he leaves. He has laid it on thick already, saying he might as well be dead as he is running out of money. DM suggested he get a job (security guard, cleaner etc) he looked at her blankly. Him getting a job, how absurd.

I would have been very tempted to tell him that if he were dead, he would have no need to worry about money.

What a Drama Llama he sounds, as well as a creepy leech.

Cosmosforbreakfast · 30/12/2023 23:27

He's laying on the emotional blackmail very heavily. Be prepared for this leech to have some sort of excuse for why he suddenly can't move out on the 2nd after all. Be ready to move his stuff out and change the locks.

ReflectiveRogue1001 · 30/12/2023 23:35

coldcallerbaiter · 30/12/2023 22:01

Haha countdown to the 2nd.

The wheels are turning with arrangements.

Its not the end of the matter even when he leaves. He has laid it on thick already, saying he might as well be dead as he is running out of money. DM suggested he get a job (security guard, cleaner etc) he looked at her blankly. Him getting a job, how absurd.

Hahahahaha

AcrossthePond55 · 31/12/2023 00:20

coldcallerbaiter · 30/12/2023 22:01

Haha countdown to the 2nd.

The wheels are turning with arrangements.

Its not the end of the matter even when he leaves. He has laid it on thick already, saying he might as well be dead as he is running out of money. DM suggested he get a job (security guard, cleaner etc) he looked at her blankly. Him getting a job, how absurd.

I knew someone like that. When someone suggested she get a job if she wanted a certain lifestyle she looked as if that person was speaking Martian. It simply did not compute.

If he's troweling it on and you're worried about DM caving, maybe she could stay out of the house on 'moving day' and you or someone else could 'supervise his removal'.

ThePoshUns · 31/12/2023 09:11

What an arse. You and your DM need to stand firm. Good luck .

Riverlee · 31/12/2023 10:36

Shamelessly placemarking for the January 2nd/3rd update!

peppermintcrisp · 31/12/2023 18:34

Not many people move into houses on the 2nd of January. Is he bluffing?

binkie163 · 31/12/2023 20:54

Fingers crossed

NigellaAwesome · 01/01/2024 09:23

I suspect there will be a health emergency tomorrow.

Nanaof1 · 01/01/2024 11:10

I hope everything works out and he will be gone in 24 hours.

He seems to have zero qualms about trying to take from anyone he can. I hope your Mom is protected financially from any abuse from the mooch.

binkie163 · 02/01/2024 09:40

Good luck today getting the moocher out.

itsalongwaybackfromsorry · 02/01/2024 11:33

I wouldn't be surprised if he's too 'unwell' this morning to possibly pack up and leave.

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