To question rich child/average child friendship

[FireworksAreFantastic]

We are average.
Average careers.
Average income.
Smaller (much smaller ....meaning TINY) than average house.
DS aged 12 is a gorgeous boy. Bright. Funny. Intelligent. Lovely. Kind. Sociable. Active. Loves going out on his bike.
Goes to the local comp which hasn't got a great reputation.
He's been biking on his own a lot down this certain area through the countryside and keeps bumping in to another kid the same age who's also out on his bike in the same area.
Today they got talking.
Other kid lives in a gigantic double fronted detached listed building surrounded by lakes and land, and attends a public school an hour away.
We live 10 min drive away in a tiny weeny semi in a tiny close with a tiny back patio.
My DS and this kid seem to have a connection and want to swap numbers to meet up and go biking together.
Can it work???
If you send your DC to a public school and live in a country pad, would you be OK with them hanging out with a kid from the local comp who lives in a house so small it's cramped?!

Please don’t let your hang-ups impact your son’s ability to make friends.

Check yourself OP! They are kids. They don't have the same hang ups you do.

My best mate is a multi millionaire.

I live in a council house.

I'd say go for it.

We all bleed the same way and our coffins are all the same size when we die. Other than money and some cultural aspects, you may find you have a lot in common.

What I would say though, is take it with a pinch of salt until you've seen it with your own eyes. This boy could be untruthful about his living circumstances.

You even need to ask?

It really doesn't matter. Your son can be friends with this boy without the relative parental circumstances affecting the friendship. I doubt that they would even think about it.

Of course. Not everyone who lives in a large house is a snob. I think you are overthinking it, they probably won’t think twice about the size of your house!

I don’t think it should be a problem at all! It’s great they are finding new friends / like minded kids to be friends with.

If they are nice kids, with decent parents won’t be a problem in either side. If they aren’t then there will probably be problems regardless!

My children go to a public school.

When I grew up we were the down and outs on the street. Not everyone with money was born that way 😉

Of course their friendship can work.

Of course it can work, as long as your son isn't as hung up on the size of your house, as you weirdly are.

Of course they can be friends

Seriously stop it right now. Your son does not need to be subjected to your nonsense. My DC have friends whose parents have a helicopter parked on the front lawn, another whose family live in a (seriously big) stately home, as well as kids who live in local authority housing. They are all part of the same group and all met at cadets. Pizza tastes the same whichever house you eat it in.

Rich kid would probably love a local friend, of course its fine 🙂

Tell him to invite him over so they can bike together from your house. Make him welcome with snacks etc but let him see where you live. If he never gets back in touch you have your answer. I suspect you will find kids don’t have the same hang ups adults sometimes have.

Yes! I grew up in a rough part of East London crappy comp education, met some of my best lifelong friends at Durham, some grammar school, another 'oik' like me (inside joke) , plenty of public school, and a couple of oligarchs' daughters. People are just people if everyone steps away from their hang ups and preconceptions.

Get rid of that chip on your shoulder and teach your kid that you choose your friends on the basis of how nice they are, not the size of their parents bank account.

It's your hang-up. On the basis that this kid is also allowed the freedom to explore on his bike, I'd say the other parents will probably be delighted that their son has met a normal, if utterly delightful, new friend.

DS (6) has a friend who lives in a very large new house, heated indoor pool, large home gym etc. We live in a 2 bed end terrace in need of work. I find it hard tbh.

I don't know how to vote, but absolutely I'd be happy for my child to be friends with yours. Why wouldn't anyone?

If the parents weren't happy about it I'd think they were the ones with a problem, frankly.

For what it's worth, DD was privately educated and we had/have a big house and some land (not Georgian listed level, though) plus a holiday home, etc. but would never have thought anything of DD having friends at a local comp from families who were less lucky financially. Quite the opposite, in fact.

DDs loveliest friends at school age were one from a not at all wealthy family who's relative paid her fees at the same school, and another who was at our local high school whose parents we became - and still are - very good friends with.

Think about it another way, OP, if you came into some money- won the lottery, big inheritance, etc., would you want it to change your DS's friendship circle?

Nice, decent people with money are no different to nice, decent people without money. Or at least they shouldn't be.

Don’t be so ridiculous! They are kids, no reason they can’t be friends

It's only a problem in your head.

I've a friend who lives in a council estate, her Dd goes to an expensive independent school with scholarship and full bursary. Most of her friends and boyfriends (she has several) are all super rich. Friend is over the moon.

Why?

I've found rich folk to be human like everyone else.

@SoShallINever love ❤️ “Pizza tastes the same in whichever house you eat it” xxxx

OP you're overthinking it! Don't worry and let them be friends. X