Poo emergency

[Whattttttttttdoido]

Posting here for traffic as I'm desperate and don't know what to do.

Went out last night with my friend, 3 other women and my friends boyfriend. We have all crashed at her boyfriends house who I don't know well and who has 3 house mates (2 men and a woman).

I can feel what is sure to be REALLY FUCKING BAD DIARRHOEA bubbling around my stomach. I tried to sneak a fart out and a bit of liquid came out. I went to the loo and cleaned myself up, and while I was there noticed there is no toilet roll.

The bathroom is between 2 bedrooms of house mates that I do not know. The house is in complete silence.

Wtf do I do in this situation? I want to cry I have considered just leaving the house but I have no idea where I'd even go I'm not familiar with this area at all.

Please help!

Have name changed for this post but I promise I've been here for ages! T rex penis beaker etc etc

Use your pants? Not really sure tbh 😬

Check kitchen for napkins. Could you poo and then shower to clean yourself up?

Tbh at a push I could clean myself up I have considered just going and then washing myself down but I'm also very worried about the sound

Is there baby wipes? Could you google maps your current location and find out if there is an open shop near by, even a Tesco and go there?

Use the loo and then use the water from the sink and your hands to clean yourself/ the loo after .
Then after that hopefully there is a towel and you can pay yourself dry .

Yes I ve been here before

Run the shower to cover any noise?

Get in the shower.

Check the kitchen for kitchen roll. Google local places either to buy toilet roll or use the loo. If necessary use the shower. I don't think you'll be able to keep this from your hosts so I would just be open about it.

I am assuming tesco express don't have toilets? That's all I can see nearby ish.

I have such issues its literally a toilet and I need to do something people use the toilet for I'm just so anxious about everyone being woken up to the sound of my guts. I don't know these people apart from my friend.

Run the shower whilst you poop & then get in after to clean. It will block some of the noise, you could also try throwing in a fake cough or sneeze. At the end of the day it’s better than shitting yourself.

Sorry to hear about this. It's not the end of the world. If anyone comments just say you had a stomach upset. It's fine, we're all human. If the toilet was in the same room as the bathroom I'd have just showered myself off. It's OK to have a shower as a guest.

I think it’s one of those occasions where you’re going to have let nature take its course. At least you don’t know these people and hopefully will never meet them again.

i would go and wake your friend up and ask for help, go get loo roll etc, then open the window and if you can find some tissues put some in the bowl to reduce the noise.

Get on google maps and look at what is close - is there a garage, large shop or something like a McDonalds? You could also put ‘toilets’ into google maps and see if any come up close by. That is plan A (leave house and shuffle to a toilet elsewhere).

if that isn’t successful, run the shower, let rip, then have a shower.

There is a mcdonalds 20 mins walk away and I think I'm gonna have to try and make it to that. Literally sat here with my bum cheeks clenched together it's unbearable.

Personally if you don't know them is just fuck off home and shit in peace. Chances are you don't have long so I'd just get on with it and text your mate to say thanks, felt sick and snuck off home.
Rather than worry about what others think get yourself home before you shit yourself,

I know the feeling. Don’t risk going out, I’ve been there, done that and it wasn’t a good idea. It’s a toilet, use it for its intended purpose. Clean yourself in the shower. Open the window. If anyone mentions it then consider them rude.

You need to just get on with it. There's probably a few people in the house desperate for a wee and waiting for you to come out of the bathroom you've been in for nearly an hour.

Ah OP good luck!!! It’ll be nice to have McDonald’s breakfast after you’ve relieved yourself too!

This reminds me of when I was 18 and went home with a guy I met on a night out. He also had housemates. I got my period the next morning and had to put kitchen roll in my undies and wake him up to ask him to get me tampons from the shop 😂 thankfully he was such a champ about it all.

I’d leave. I’d call a taxi and leave

Yeah I’d leave.
couldn’t stand the embarrassment even if there was toilet roll and it will stink! Just leave and then text friend. I’d personally rather shit down an alley and use my pants to clean myself!! That’s just me hahah!!

Keep flushing the loo and use the clean water to wash your bum

I was obviously not in the bathroom that whole time, once I had cleaned myself up after the earlier incident and realised there was no toilet roll I came back to my bed.

And I'm so far away from home, if it had been an option to just leave I definitely would have!!!

HOWEVER before I got up to leave for mcdonalds I heard one of the house mates go to the toilet and back to bed. As soon as I got up to actually go to mcdonalds I immediately knew it would not be an option and had to just suck it up and use the toilet. The housemate had put a roll of toilet roll in there and I could have cried tears of joy.

I ran the taps, acted like I was getting washed up and put some toilet roll in the toilet and let it out very slowly. I've never known anything like it. Opened up a window, and I feel so much more comfortable now.

Thank you for not just calling me a fucking weirdo. I get so so anxious about this stuff.

Run a tap or the shower to disguise noise. Poo. Order taxi. Jump in shower and use a towel - put it in laundry basket or leave on floor so no one else uses it.
Leave and send a text explaining you felt unwell.

How old are you OP?