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AIBU?

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Original poster

Poo emergency

157 replies

Whattttttttttdoido · 04/11/2023 06:43

Posting here for traffic as I'm desperate and don't know what to do.

Went out last night with my friend, 3 other women and my friends boyfriend. We have all crashed at her boyfriends house who I don't know well and who has 3 house mates (2 men and a woman).

I can feel what is sure to be REALLY FUCKING BAD DIARRHOEA bubbling around my stomach. I tried to sneak a fart out and a bit of liquid came out. I went to the loo and cleaned myself up, and while I was there noticed there is no toilet roll.

The bathroom is between 2 bedrooms of house mates that I do not know. The house is in complete silence.

Wtf do I do in this situation? I want to cry I have considered just leaving the house but I have no idea where I'd even go I'm not familiar with this area at all.

Please help!

OP posts:
Rpture · 04/11/2023 18:06

The rapture is nigh.

LuciaPillson · 04/11/2023 18:07

For anyone with chronic bowel problems, I know a lot of jokes are made about them but there's no shame in using adult nappies when going out. Takes some of the stress away. Even a really big, long sanitary pad is better than nothing. Also carrying own supplies of loo roll, wipes, spare pants etc. But if like OP it's unexpected... not a fun situation. As for Imodium it just depends on what is causing the diarrhea.

saffronsoup · 04/11/2023 18:09

Run the taps. Put toilet paper in the toilet, squirt in a couple pumps of hand soap. Let it all exit you and flush just as you finish while still sitting on the throne. Clean up. Put more hand soap in the toilet and use the brush if necessary. Flush again. Wash your hands with lots of soap lather to get the fresh soap scent into the air.

Someone with IBS!

Defactothematter · 04/11/2023 18:10

Let it out slowly? Not a phrase I’d ever associate with diorreah

mrssausage23 · 04/11/2023 18:13

I wondered how long before someone shouted poo troll. How sad that grown women can't discuss normal, bodily functions without being accused of being some sort of deviant. It's one of my pet peeves on MN because it's so bloody childish!

Chromium24 · 04/11/2023 18:16

wet wipes ? @Whattttttttttdoido

Chromium24 · 04/11/2023 18:17

mrssausage23 · 04/11/2023 18:13

I wondered how long before someone shouted poo troll. How sad that grown women can't discuss normal, bodily functions without being accused of being some sort of deviant. It's one of my pet peeves on MN because it's so bloody childish!

very true, its like you can have x view and all other views are omg

Original poster
Whattttttttttdoido · 04/11/2023 18:45

I literally put poo in the title so anyone could have easily avoided it if they find this stuff so obscene to talk about. I'm not a troll!

I know it may sound ridiculous to lots of people but I was hungover in a new person's home in a very vulnerable situation and it gave me so much anxiety I was almost crying. I'm already laughing about it now.

OP posts:
Tighginn · 04/11/2023 18:50

Tesco express would have had Imodium.

Homewardbound2022 · 04/11/2023 18:53

I was a turd of the way through this thread before realising the problem had been resolved.

PushingFromTheMiddle · 04/11/2023 18:58

NC as people irl know this.
I was doing jury service.
We were served lunch. I am not sure what set my IBS off but I felt it AFTER we had filed back into court after the break.
I was sweating and fidgeting and totally desperate. I managed to catch an officials eye and get a break.
I rushed to the jurors room, ran in the bathroom and died of embarrassment for about 5 mins. I come back into the Jury room to find ALL the other jurors sitting there. I really wanted to curl up and die that day. Having to then go back in to court and hope my guts had settled was agonising 😩 IBS & related issues are bollocks 😒
@Whattttttttttdoido just feel relieved you didn't bag an unflushable shit and chuck it out the window only to find it adorning the tree outside later.....

Wetblanket78 · 04/11/2023 19:07

This is why I always carry a couple of packets of tissues.😳🙈💩

Chromium24 · 04/11/2023 19:24

Wetblanket78 · 04/11/2023 19:07

This is why I always carry a couple of packets of tissues.😳🙈💩

another good backup is wet wipes

ememem84 · 04/11/2023 19:25

RJ2023 · 04/11/2023 17:10

Jesters and The Hobbit - drinking in a half demolished building! So many memories :)

I was at Southampton in 2003. Stonham tower was still going. No idea how! A friend stayed there. I got stuck in the lift. Twice.

fond memories of clowns jesters and the hobbit. Good times.

BMW6 · 04/11/2023 19:30

I'm another who recommends always having a box of matches handy.

Strike a match or two after you've made a stink and the flame burns the methane - and the smell.

ChocolateCinderToffee · 04/11/2023 19:30

LuciaPillson · 04/11/2023 18:07

For anyone with chronic bowel problems, I know a lot of jokes are made about them but there's no shame in using adult nappies when going out. Takes some of the stress away. Even a really big, long sanitary pad is better than nothing. Also carrying own supplies of loo roll, wipes, spare pants etc. But if like OP it's unexpected... not a fun situation. As for Imodium it just depends on what is causing the diarrhea.

Unfortunately, you can never be sure when it's going to hit you. I get absolutely rampaging diarrhoea from one particular food additive, and I can never be certain whether or not it's in food until I eat it. If it is, I have at best 20 minutes' warning, at worst about two minutes'. I nearly didn't make it to the loo recently and the effort of holding on meant I was on the point of fainting when I got into the cubicle.

mrssausage23 · 04/11/2023 19:47

I was in a similar situation once op. Me and about 7 mates crammed into a friends tiny uni room the morning after a night out. Horrendous beer shits and his little bathroom was like an airline toilet off the main room. No way could I have unleashed without it being heard and smelt.

I took a risk and got a taxi to the station and thankfully made it to the toilets there but only just. Mortifying.

Now in later life I do have IBS and a lot of it is anxiety related. I can't believe I used to put myself in situations like that because I get worried even visiting friends homes for a coffee now in case I need to use their loo.

It's so debilitating. This is why I get annoyed at poo troll comments because it's hard enough talking about these things without people accusing you of being some sort of weirdo as well. No wonder bowel issues are still so taboo.

Anyway gone off on a tangent but I'm pleased you were ok OP and it sounds like a relatively one off experience for you. Oh and how dare you go for a night out in another city when you have kids! Shame on you! ( lol )

Esmeralda94 · 04/11/2023 20:03

Whattttttttttdoido · 04/11/2023 07:00

I am assuming tesco express don't have toilets? That's all I can see nearby ish.

I have such issues its literally a toilet and I need to do something people use the toilet for I'm just so anxious about everyone being woken up to the sound of my guts. I don't know these people apart from my friend.

I think people meant go there for loo roll.

Esmeralda94 · 04/11/2023 20:07

Ah, see you're sorted now. 🙏 There's no relief like that after a close call.

🤰💨

TwinkleTwinkleTwinkleTwinkle · 04/11/2023 20:19

People who don't keep enough toilet paper on hand are BU.

Esmeralda94 · 04/11/2023 20:21

I always have biodegradable wet wipes in my bag. Mainly because I hate sticky fingers but they also serve a secondary purpose as loo roll.

MilkWithTheBiscuits · 04/11/2023 20:29

Esmeralda94 · 04/11/2023 20:21

I always have biodegradable wet wipes in my bag. Mainly because I hate sticky fingers but they also serve a secondary purpose as loo roll.

Do you not find them to be too destrucitble?

Esmeralda94 · 04/11/2023 20:34

MilkWithTheBiscuits · 04/11/2023 20:29

Do you not find them to be too destrucitble?

Show quote history

Well, in an emergency they're invaluable. Normally I'd use loo roll and follow with a wet wipe for ultimate cleanliness. Dry wiping poo is a bit grim IMO.

TolkiensFallow · 04/11/2023 20:36

Always carry a packet of tissues and some immodium in your bag.

MilkWithTheBiscuits · 04/11/2023 20:36

Esmeralda94 · 04/11/2023 20:34

Well, in an emergency they're invaluable. Normally I'd use loo roll and follow with a wet wipe for ultimate cleanliness. Dry wiping poo is a bit grim IMO.

Show quote history

That’s understandable, do you have IBS too (I do)

Yes dry wiping isn’t great, when at home I lie to wet folded toilet paper a small amount to make the wiping less harsh as I often get piles