Poo emergency

[Whattttttttttdoido]

Posting here for traffic as I'm desperate and don't know what to do.

Went out last night with my friend, 3 other women and my friends boyfriend. We have all crashed at her boyfriends house who I don't know well and who has 3 house mates (2 men and a woman).

I can feel what is sure to be REALLY FUCKING BAD DIARRHOEA bubbling around my stomach. I tried to sneak a fart out and a bit of liquid came out. I went to the loo and cleaned myself up, and while I was there noticed there is no toilet roll.

The bathroom is between 2 bedrooms of house mates that I do not know. The house is in complete silence.

Wtf do I do in this situation? I want to cry I have considered just leaving the house but I have no idea where I'd even go I'm not familiar with this area at all.

Please help!

@flipdiddle I'm in my 30s and I've had 2 children so it's ridiculous that I'm still so embarrassed about the fact that I poo.

Oh dear.

I know it's awkward and embarrassing but remind yourself that everyone in that house will have experience a tummy upset with accompanying issues at some point in their life. Likely they would be sympathetic.

Can you not wake your boyfriend and ask for toilet paper?

Sweet Jesus

Are you kipped on a sofa in a tiny flat of someone you hardly know, in an area you don’t know.

Call yourself a taxi. Get back to your home. Have a long shower. And put this behind you!!

Oh dear. I would have already used my underwear as loo roll before the housemate had time to replace it😭😭😭

I had this for a full two weeks last month (urgent diarrhoea) and it was truly awful - I was holiding on for my life in public several times☹️

I am not embarrassed I poo

but in the scenario you describe - yes I would be embarrassed

I am embarrassed I poo and yes I know it's totally ridiculous. It's not an unusual thing unfortunately.

I think id front it out and own it to act like I wasn't embarrassed. Guys I'm sorry but I had the mega shits this morning, I'm going to have to leave but I've cleaned up and lit a candle and opened a window. Bye! (And then never see them again) 😁

If you have diarrhoea that's coming out you can't really leave. If you go, you now have no toilet whatsoever.

So you're stuck. Do I shit here and figure out how to clean it up, or leave and risk having to shit by the side of the road?

I'm gonna be known as the girl who came to their house and stank out the bathroom the first time I met them and I've just accepted it as my fate now because atleast I don't feel like I'm gonna shit myself anymore.

Well, the woman in her 30s not the “girl”!

Run the shower to cover the sound and then hop in the shower afterwards, have a good wash…. “Oh I was just having a shower all this time!”

just don’t do what my friend did and use your pants to clean up, then hide the evidence in the cystern!

Oh just read the update! Happy for you and your poo OP 😂

Don’t you want to get back to your own home and shower and climb in to your own bed?!

Op, I'd be going home immediately. What happens if you need to go again!!

If you haven't heard of it, there is a spray you can get called V.I.Poo that is a game changer.

It's a little pump spray bottle, you spray it on to the toilet bowl water before you go - it traps smell under the water somehow (#No idea how!!) and it works!

I always keep one in my makeup bag now for emergencies just like this, and when I'm a work.

Bloody marvellous!

I'm so glad you got sorted OP. I have become much less uptight about the need to urgently poo in the last year since DS2 was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease. I have seen it all now and when you've gotta go, you've gotta go and you shouldn't have to feel embarrassed. Sadly (or not?) I have also completely lost any sense of humour I may have had around pooing and the jokes people like to make about various different poo related scenarios. DP recently read out something from the internet about a person who was stuck on a plane with diarrhoea, which had been made into a great big joke and he thought I was being a right killjoy because I didn't find it funny.

In these situations you need to ask yourself 'What would Boris do?' Would he meekly scuttle off to a McDonald's and worry about what strangers think of him? No, he'd blow up that toilet like he owned the place. Women have felt shame about our bodies and natural processes for far too long. Think like a man op!

P.S You can replace Boris with pretty much any rich, white, middle class man with average intelligence, they're all the same.

IBD sufferer here. Whenever I’m anywhere new I scope out every toilet sign possible as soon as we get there. I carry toilet wipes in my bag, spare knickers and Always long plus pads, Imodium Instants (or pharmacy equivalent: cheaper) and a small bottle of hand sanitiser.
I’ve stunk out friends bathrooms, always leave the windows open during and after.
I’ve had to leave many a meal unfinished to run to the loo, dh is used to this, he knows not to let the plate be taken away by waiting staff when out…this is where the knowledge of cutlery placement on another thread comes in handy: cutlery at half past six position on the plate means I’m finished, quarter to four means I’m not finished, please leave the plate.

Are they one of these households where they don't usually leave toilet roll in there and each person takes their own in from their bedroom every time they go - to avoid bickering and complaints about who always uses more or who always ends up buying it?

But this housemate suddenly twigged that they had guests who probably hadn't got their own bog roll to hand and did the humane thing?

I’ve just literally ordered that off Amazon after reading your post. I am a bowel cancer (survivor) but it has left me with a very sensitive digestive system. I’m paranoid about using public toilets or ones in friends homes so thanks for this recommendation.

I carry a pack of Imodium in my bag just in case I feel my guts are going to be weak. I don’t use them often but they have ‘saved’ me on occasion.

Vipoo is amazing stuff
Glad you didn't shit yourself op! We've all been there try not to worry

Use the shower after poomageddon

Would you not go to Tesco Express to buy loo roll?

Would you not go to Tesco Express to buy loo roll?

That was my (surely obvious) conclusion too. Got to be better than having to dash into the shower, all crinkly-arsed, straight after doing your business - or just ignoring the toilet altogether and waffle-stomping. Simple straightforward solution; just why wouldn't you?