First it was the dressing gown of doom. I now offer you 'the sigh'

[SweetFemaleAttitude]

So it used to be the shuffling in the dressing gown when your fella was ill. My husband doesn't have the dressing gown, but he does have 'the sigh'. He stands up, he sigh's. He goes the loo...he sighs. Hhhphhhh. He sneezes WACHOOOOOOO. He sighs.

My DD said we need to change his name to sighmon

I may strangle if I hear 'the sigh' once more.

DH looses the ability to walk upright when poorly - stoops over like a very old man. We can judge his level of recovery by the angle of his body.

What also drives me mad is the number of syllables that are added to my name "Saaaaaalllllyyyy, any chance of a cup of tea please." (Not real name) all said in a weak pathetic voice of course.

DH does all of the sighing, shlepping, yelping, sniffing etc when a little bit poorly.

Anything life threatening and he is the complete opposite, trying to pretend he is fine, definitely doesn't need to go to hospital, gets quite cross if you suggest any urgent medical intervention for the very obvious serious issue he has.

I also have to suffer seeing the Vicks inhaler which takes up permanent residence in a nostril. It’s like that scene with Michael Palin in a fish called Wanda. Sometimes he has a tissue up the other nostril.

I thought so!!! 😂

I would not complain at all at the moment if my DH was just sighing dramatically in his dressing gown of doom. Because what he is now doing is the important Man Job of fitting an integrated washing machine. So far this has involved explaining the whole process to the cat, many groans, and a constant stream of talking to the pipes, the screws, Mr Washing Machine himself. Even the kitchen counter has been talked at to. At the moment he's very disappointed with Mr Electric Screwdriver and he's gone out to the shed to collect his drill, after having another conversation with Alexa about the weather. He's even talking to the instructions- apparently there are two sets and he doesn't understand why. Luckily DS1 is about to come down because I've told him DH needs a hand and now he'll be stuck for the next 2 hours being asked why that screw doesn't go in that hole and what does he think about that pipe.

Update: there are "loads" of screws "left over" and some "spare bits" he "didn't need after all." Even the cat is concerned about that.

Again, I can only wish for him to be confined to bed.

That was a cruel thing to do to your DS.

You're lucky your DH is just talking to the instructions, mine usually spends the time swearing at them and the person who wrote them. And once he's started the job he inevitably finds that he hasn't got all the tools he needs, and he just stands there calling for me to bring him the missing ones. And not all together, oh no, it's one by one.

I've been known to take myself out for a l o o o o n g coffee when DH starts one of these tasks. You might be wise to do the same.

😂😂😂

DCat may well be concerned - I foresee a flooded room next time the machine's used!

DH does 'The Sigh' or rather Many Sighs - when he's not even I'll. The other day he was tired and proceeded to martyrishly put away the washing up sighing every time he picked up something and sighing when he or put it down. Pick up bowl (huff), put it away (puff), pick up mug (huff), put it away (puff). It did not mix well with the perimenopausal mood I was in.

You know what I actually hate more than the groaning, sighing, scream-sneezing, the Lucozade, Lockets and Lemsip (the three L’s of serious illness)?

The throat clearing.

My husband does a really talky sounding one. Eh-hem. Eh-hemmmmm. Sometimes he makes it sound really sing-song and goes up as the hemmmmmm progresses. Over and over and over. Plus the sniffing. Oh god, the sniffing. He doesn’t even realise he’s doing it. Meanwhile, I’m plotting murder from another room.

@Eeepsh

What also drives me mad is the number of syllables that are added to my name "Saaaaaalllllyyyy, any chance of a cup of tea please." (Not real name) all said in a weak pathetic voice of course.

It's "Muuuuuuum" without the justification of being four years old, isn't it?

My Dad does the sigh.

My Mum however, is the most dramatic cougher in the world. Then when she's finished dramatically coughing, she does a dramatic wince.

I thought this thread had reached peak Mumsnet a few pages ago but I was wrong

Yes the sigh, the faint sounding "I'm just going for a lie down" (My husband normally has quite a loud voice. Also he is a big man but when unwell offers of tea or a little bit of dinner are met with a very meek whisper (that sounds nothing like him) of "No thank you." ) He emerges after a day or so and moves to the Xbox for an evening or two. It's all very predictable.

Oh yeah, the moany, always-tired, always-weary, multiple-ailment man. I have one of these. I don't know if it's a slightly older man thing, coz my DH didn't start to get like this til he hit late 40s. (5-6 years ago.) Always soooo tired, always soooo weary, often feeling soooo rough, and as pps said 'off to bed early some nights' (9pm) because he is 'just not feeling right at all.' (In a weak little voice like other posters have mentioned.) Shuffling around with his back hunched over, blowing his nose (but nothing is there!) 'coughing,' and just grunting as he goes to take some paracetamol ... And as he walks off to the bedroom, yes, it's the SIGH!

If I have a cold, or sore throat, or headache, or any kind of pain, he has it too, and it's always worse. Does my head in! He hardly ever wants to do anything or go anywhere and sits in front of the TV 80% of his waking hours. He has no hobbies or anything that takes him out of the house. I don't know how I will cope when he retires! At least he is at work some days! I have to stick a firework up his arse to get him to come out with me, and he NEVER goes out without me.

He has had about 10 different 'ailments' in the past 5-6 years too, and even seen some specialists. Soooooooooooo many things 'wrong.' His heart, his back, his shoulder. his jaw, his kidneys, his knee, his wrist, his ears, his head - (thinks he has a brain tumour,) etc etc etc. But despite multiple tests and scans and x-rays, nothing has been found. He is most annoyed and disappointed. 😆

To be honest, I hope I never get really ill - to the point where I can't do anything for myself, and need care. Because I truly believe he won't step up. He can't stand me being ill (if I have a tummy bug or very bad cold or am laid up for a day or two with a migraine.) He sighs and huffs and puffs when I ask for a glass of water. Like I am really bothering him. I feel such a nuisance. (Yet I am like a paid nurse when he is ill... on the few occasions he is genuinely ill)

I also think he won't take too kindly at having to be my 'carer' because he is the 'ill' one, the one who has all these ailments, and just how DARE I have something worse than him? 🤒

Send this to the DM immediately. You'll probably get MN of the Year from them

The MISANDRY you mean? 😉

Quite - there's a stereotype of Incels sitting in their Mum's cellar in stained underpants taking a break from Pornhub and typing misogynistic or racist comments on websites.

What's the female equivalent - maybe in trackpants taking breaks from Tricia to do the same sort of thing on here

Mine does most of these including the SSIBTT and wincing. If he isn't getting enough sympathy he will break out the tooth chattering .
DH <groaning, sniffing>
(croaking weakly): I feel like shit
Me: <looks up from unloading dishwasher>
Oh poor you. I expect it's that thing the rest of us have had- half of DD2's primary class had it. There's paracetamol if you want, I got some yesterday.
DH: (sadly) I took some already, it didn't do any good. I just can't get warm
<clutches arms round self, shivers>
Me: That's a pity. I'll crank the heating up
< dials up thermostat whilst picking up the laundry basket to go and unload the machine, whilst performing the critical trigger of turning back on poorly husband>
DH:
<dramatic shivering, teeth chattering whilst inhaling- the noise produced sounds a bit like Hannibal Lecter>
I don't think I'm going to be able to go to work tomorrow. I'm going to bed

Generous application of hot water bottles, lucozade and gentle murmurs along the lines of "I'm making dinner, I'll bring some up to you if you think you might be able to eat something, or is there anything else you need" improve morale very slightly, but thanks to this thread I'll be able to mentally mutter "For fuck sake harden up Sighmon"

Well if you join a forum that’s 95+% women, you just have to accept that there will be light hearted threads taking the piss out of blokes.

If you want to redress the balance, I’m sure there are dozens of male forums that say far, far worse things about women.

I'm not into denigrating men or women.

Just seems some threads on here make it acceptable to pile in on men in general.

because there is no middle ground.

Its the litmus of how ill they actually are.

If they're auditioning for The Royal Shakespeare company then its likely something mild.

If they're stoically trying to struggle on and declaring nothing is wrong and they're 'fine' you need to have 999 on speed dial because they're probably going to keel over out of sheer stubborn bloodymindedness.

Ooh, have we gone back to 2010?

😂