First it was the dressing gown of doom. I now offer you 'the sigh'

[SweetFemaleAttitude]

So it used to be the shuffling in the dressing gown when your fella was ill. My husband doesn't have the dressing gown, but he does have 'the sigh'. He stands up, he sigh's. He goes the loo...he sighs. Hhhphhhh. He sneezes WACHOOOOOOO. He sighs.

My DD said we need to change his name to sighmon

I may strangle if I hear 'the sigh' once more.

I cured exh of the virus of doom, this is a special cure & once your deadly other half has been treated he will never moan at you again, guaranteed. He had all the symptoms you have all been mentioning, so I told him he needed a special hot bath to begin the sweating out process. I ran the bath as hot as he could stand & then added menthol crystals to unblock his nose, he then staggered into the bathroom using the last of his energy & I left him to suffer in peace. I was halfway down the stairs when I heard a scream & the shower being turned on, unfortunately the menthol crystals were a bit too strong & burnt his bits when he got in the bath, but his sniffle was instantly cured & never mentioned again. If he was ever ill again, I just had to offer to run him a bath & he was instantly cured.

Here it's like living in a care home. One draggy slipper like One Flies Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Incapable of shifting round in a seat without making a complex array of 'old man noises.'

I have laughed out loud at some of these this evening so thank you for that! I’ve been out this evening and come in to DP who has the shiver of doom ….a slight shiver with sound effects! I sniggered rather a lot, thinking if this thread and then offered to fetch some paracetamol from the bathroom, which was gratefully received with a ‘woe is me’ look!

Does remind me of a mug I almost bought once; mum flu, like normal flu but no-one gives a shit.

Dh goes to bed when he's ill, which is infuriating but better than sighing and the dressing gown of doom. We have opposite views when it comes to meds. Dh has to be nagged to take anything and I take the maximum dose. In the pharmacy they always tell me that honey and lemon is the best thing for a cold and I always say that I've got 5 disabled children, please can I have the strong stuff they keep behind the counter.

When the dressing gown of doom appears with the accompanying slipper shuffle, he gets the Man flu shot along with suitable sympathy along the lines of “ poor you, it is so much worse for you as you’ve not had your pain threshold raised by going through childbirth “.

Off to look for the Mum flu mug described earlier as must get one of those!

Heheh love this thread!

I'm joining this club! Once dh nearly tripped over a shoe and shouted "who left their shoes here?! I almost broke my neck and died!!"
Now we point out things left in the floor and say 'clear your stuff up before someone DIES!"

We have the dressing gown of doom, the joggers of no hope and some bizarre grey fluffy socks that he must wear!

He won’t go to bloody bed, so lies on the sofa, with his table of doom, filled with pills, Vicks, tissues…. And lager!
Why oh why will he not sod off to bed?

Even the Ddog is sick of the moaning and sighing!

I love him… but I could stab him when he’s ill

I'm quite sniffly, so I keep tissues in most rooms in the house.

DH never seems to remember this is the case and keeps bringing them with him to the sofa until they have basically all migrated there. As I realise when I reach for one and the box has vanished.

Can I add sleep-martyrdom to this list of debilitating symptoms/reasons for murder?

As in, I know DP has been asleep for hours but tomorrow I will hear “oh I didn’t sleep at all” (add sighs here).

DP likes to add an extra week to my misery by having a pre-illness warmup to the main event:

”My throat’s a bit tickly, I hope I’m not getting a cold.”

”Mavis three doors down has got a cold, really hope I’m not getting ill too.”

”Ooh, eurgh. cricks neck from side to side Really think I’m getting quite run down, might catch something.”

Tbf I also really hope he doesn’t catch a cold because of the drama. His last cold, the night before my C-section he said to me, “I almost collapsed blowing my nose, we’ll have to hope I’m still standing tomorrow.”

Yep, bubonic plague and malaria and typhoid and smallpox and tuberculosis and pneumonia are a doddle compared with his suffering!

I'd be tempted to tell him I'll find out by shoving the thermometer up his arse!

My dh does the same thing and makes a song and dance out of a leg cramp I usually just ignore him he jumps around making a noise like his leg is broken and about to fall off and we have the ooodie of doom and a lot of moanitis and near constant updates
on how he’s feeling. I do an eye roll that big I can see my brain.

I blame his mother...

Sighmon 🤣

I have a Sniffer.
When he thinks he's coming down with something he will sniff every 15 seconds. Its not an exaggerated inhale, quite subtle in fact, but when exercised four times per minute accompanied immediately by an exhaled sigh it does make a night feel like an eon.

That coupled with the insistence that one paracetamol will suffice because it's not that bad yet.

Well that would suffice if he was aged 9 and 4ft 2 but he's considerably older and taller.

I shall call him Sniffle Sighmon forthwith.

😁 mine too. So I go "nee nah, nee nah, nee nah - it's the hyperbole police come to take you away 😁 🚨"

😂

😂 Superb description

We used to have the flaccid sheepskin boots that looked like they belonged to a Viking warrior lying in the muddy battlefield, waiting for a Valkyrie to take his soul to Valhalla. Unfortunately they also smelled like it. When he went away one weekend, the puppy “may” have been encouraged to play with them (repeatedly). What a pity he left them out where she could find them? Had to put them in the bin.

I also stopped the half hourly requests to take his temperature by telling him that I only had a rectal thermometer for the babies.

My sweet lovely supportive partner said to me during his cold " why do bad things happen to good people?"

He will be mocked for his melodramatic statement forever more.

Me discovering the milk has gone bad

" why do bad things happen to good people?"

Thankfully he is hilarious and can take the rubbing.

Oh Lordy, rubbing! Not rubbing!

Bloody amazing the same species of male are also presidents, kings, prime ministers, other leaders of countries, despots, religious leaders, they populate the mafia and gangs, kill, rape and responsible for warmongering.

But so worn out by a virus. Or a shitty nappy.

My DP loves the very loud 'atttishooooooo'. Like no person ever sneezed before.

Ribbing! Sigh... I give up.