First it was the dressing gown of doom. I now offer you 'the sigh'

[SweetFemaleAttitude]

So it used to be the shuffling in the dressing gown when your fella was ill. My husband doesn't have the dressing gown, but he does have 'the sigh'. He stands up, he sigh's. He goes the loo...he sighs. Hhhphhhh. He sneezes WACHOOOOOOO. He sighs.

My DD said we need to change his name to sighmon

I may strangle if I hear 'the sigh' once more.

😂😂so true!

I’m loving the solidarity here.

Despite DH and his joggers of doom we seem to have done better with dc1 who is 17. He had a summer job with a gardening firm and woke me one morning to ask how he can manage at work with an upset stomach. He was most upset to have to call his boss to say that he couldn’t go in for a couple of days. He certainly doesn’t take after his dad!

I have one that literally sneezes the word Atishoo. Like WTF? He’s taking the piss isn’t he?

I do this but I'm a woman

It's middle age

My DH is also Sighmon 😂
But I’m also unwell with a chest infection atm and I’ve developed my own version : The Wheeze.

I’m struggling with breathlessness and wheeziness but I do admit, I wheeze a bit louder as I carry the laundry basket up the stairs, or as I walk around fluffing the cushions. My wheeziness also gets considerably louder after I trudge upstairs and pop my head into my teenage DC’s bedrooms at night. It translates as ‘Are you really going to make me ask you again to put your phones away and go to bed when I can barely speak?’
Works a treat.

This all makes me feel so happy to be divorced. My exh was totally one of these.

Today I’m ill, my children are both ill (15 and 9 so they at least stay out and rest), and it’s my birthday. But I’m not making that kind of fuss and of course have had to make meals!

This thread is absolutely hilarious! Thank god im single, because i literally could not keep my face straight with half of these stories.
You girls deserve a bloody medal 🏅 👏 . The medal of doom🤣

Love love love sighmon, bestest name ever.

I will give DP his dues. He is rarely sick/ill/dying unlike me who catches every damn bug ever on the planet.

Having said that, I crack on with most illnesses and DP, erm doesnt.

He does own a dressing gown of doom, and on the odd occasion it makes an entrance. But mostly he stays in bed, well away from me. Occassionally texts to say cuppa please and thank you. Doesnt always get cuppa, but at least he asks nicely.

Still drives me nuts if he decides he is really sick. And in the days after, when he is ok to leave the bed but not well enough to go to work, it's the sad voice, the shuffling around, the big sighs, the wanting certain foods cooked for him. I just want to yell go to fucking bed then, your not well, so fuck off.
When I am sick, I just carry on or go to bed till I'm well. No food gets cooked for me, no big sighs, no grumbling. In fact usually by chance hes not even here. I often fall sick when he is away for days at a time. So no one to groan at, no one to care. So no point being dramatic.

Mine cant get up without going ooooof…

Omg I can't stop laughing now. Best thread ever! 😂

If you do throttle him there's not a jury in the land will convict you.

DH's is more of a huff than a sigh - a lot exhalation of breath

He also proceeds to tell me in a disbelieving voice that he is never ever ill and this is unbelievable.

Yes dear - not since the last time you were ill.

Still drives me nuts if he decides he is really sick. And in the days after, when he is ok to leave the bed but not well enough to go to work, it's the sad voice, the shuffling around, the big sighs, the wanting certain foods cooked for him. I just want to yell go to fucking bed then, your not well, so fuck off.

😂😂😂😂 do we have the same DH?

Mr Kerfuffle cracks out the thermometer and repeatedly checks his temperature when he has a cold. He thinks that an official fever proves that he does not have man flu and that he is really unwell. We only bought the thermometer when the kids were babies so how did he know if he was ill all the years before that? It is a mystery.

Oh I'm sitting here crying with laughter. Currently we have the dressing gown, joggers and scarf of doom out. He is sighing frequently and is so exhausted he's gone to bed but could I bring him a cup of tea? He has a cold.... I've just had a nasty chest infection, antibiotics and everything, still cooked, cleaned and went to work. DD has just commented has been sighing and being so tired with her. She too has ignored him

My dh takes to the bed for everything, even 'pays' the dc to bring his dinner up to him with sweets from his stash. I get asked numerous times if he looks as ill as he feels....and if he has a temp - we no longer have a thermometer after the last one broke so its my hand that is the official temp-o-meter now. When Im ill, Im still given a list of jobs that need to be done

What a bastard. Try and find somewhere to publicly humiliate him. You deserve so much better than this.

Just going to leave this here

Many thanks to all posters. I'm a few weeks out from a narc relationship and you ladies have cheered me up no end.Thanks guys.

Oh Jesus, I remember the Joggers of Doom. He’d be found wearing them, while huddled on the sofa under a blanket, talking in hushed tones to reflect the solemnity of the situation. He would look sadly at the packet of ibuprofen I’d given him because he was far too weak to remove two of the tablets and, au naturellement getting up to get some water with which to take them was far beyond someone in his condition, which was a mild cold. He would talk about the need to run a hot bath the “sweat it out” which was a hint for me to run it for him. I did not, I had better things to do than pander to someone who claimed to be too weak to turn a tap.

Honestly, if we’d had a patio I’d have dug a hole for his lifeless body with my bare hands after a couple of days of that crap. Thankfully we separated so he’s now someone else’s problem.

The words I dread the most:

”Can you get me some Lucozade please?”

Yes!! LilacpointDaddy does this at the merest (subaudible) sniffle 🤦

We have the buying of lemsips and lucozade as soon as there’s the slightest sniffle! The slow plodding walk around the house whilst getting ready for work, all whilst I’ve managed to continue looking after the kids and working whilst being ill myself.

Mine blows his cheeks out when he coughs then says "oh dear me". It makes me feel murderous. He's having surgery tommorrow.......

My DS bristles when DBIL says he is "as weak as a kitten"