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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

First it was the dressing gown of doom. I now offer you 'the sigh'

222 replies

SweetFemaleAttitude · 03/11/2023 21:42

So it used to be the shuffling in the dressing gown when your fella was ill. My husband doesn't have the dressing gown, but he does have 'the sigh'. He stands up, he sigh's. He goes the loo...he sighs. Hhhphhhh. He sneezes WACHOOOOOOO. He sighs.

My DD said we need to change his name to sighmon

I may strangle if I hear 'the sigh' once more.

OP posts:
Justmuddlingalong · 03/11/2023 23:13

Stage 1. Use an over dramatic voice to ask "are you OK?"
Stage 2. "Should I phone NHS24?"
Stage 3. "Should I phone the Royal Shakespeare Company?"

FrazzledMCPremenopausalWoman · 03/11/2023 23:14

@HardcoreLadyType the cramp screams... DH sounds like he's in advanced labour whenever he gets a cramp. Now I'm used to it and I'm no longer scared that he's having a heart attack or similar, all I can do is try not to laugh while he rolls around screaming until it subsides.

ladyandthechocolate · 03/11/2023 23:19

This post makes me feel so much better.
I will add another of my DH’s habits when poorly which is complete denial of starting to feel better. After a few days of sickness I may something encouraging like “you look a bit better today “ and he replies “I definitely don’t feel at all better” as if admitting to this might burst the sick bubble for him and he’ll be ousted from bed to take the bins out.

The other thing he does is a little sick sigh with every exhalation. He is too sick obviously to breathe through his nose so every little mouth breath sounds like “hehh” complete with a suitably pained expression. It makes me feel really stabby 😬

BlowMyBubbles · 03/11/2023 23:20

Dh doesn't get ill often, in fact when his germ filled kids finally get me, he's full of pride about his god like immune system. While I quietly die and go about day to day, I get smug comments about how he never gets ill.

Except, he has a very selective memory, he may not get horrendous temperatures, the shits or vomit into a bowl while holding another bowl for the v&d child. But, he does like to text hourly updates about the amount, colour, consistency of his snot when he has a minor cold. He also is a fan of not only 'doing the sigh' but making sure he holds onto a mother ducking door frame to really convey the power of the sigh. Every. Fecking. Time. He. Walks. Through. A. Door.

Grasp, hold, wain and sigh.

He is the worst 'sick' person I know. Because when he's truly sick he just gets on, but a slight cold will bring out all the dramatics...and hourly updates while he's dragging himself through the work day.

Maybe the worst thing is, that when I'm ill, actually ill, like needing hospital ill...he doesn't believe me. Because when he was 6 he had it and he doesn't remember certain symptoms, so it can't be that. An operation and a weeks stay in hospital say otherwise, all knowing Lord of infection.

Wooooo, that felt good to get off the chest. 😆

trulyunruly01 · 03/11/2023 23:21

Oh we have the jumper of doom, a misshapen loose chenille thing that it's Mumsie bought him Xmas 1985. It's comforting apparently.

Takethatandparty30 · 03/11/2023 23:24

I feel your pain. We don't even need illness, its all the time. The dressing gown goes on along with the little sad face and lots of sighs. Woe is me. Drives me insane!

Isheabastard · 03/11/2023 23:27

My ex did performative sneezing. And if a tissue had touched his nose once, a new tissue would have to be used (because the used one had his germs in, and he didn’t want to catch those germs). Plus he would carefully examine the contents if he blew his nose.

He wouldn’t go to bed, but would nap on the sofa in our kitchen/conservatory, surrounded by a pile of used tissues. I of course then would have to creep around the kitchen just because the fucker wouldn’t go up to bed.

But worse was when he was doing any DIY around the house. There was so much huffing and puffing, and grunting and groaning, even if he was just putting a screw in. The thing was he’s very capable and it was all within his ability. Even worse, he always volunteered to DIY (because he thought he was able to do a better job. Even more, he said he enjoyed DIY!!

NewtonPulsifer · 03/11/2023 23:31

These are brilliant.

We have the Joggers of Doom that put in an appearance. He sits in them and they end up with toblerone shaped knees poking out from the Dressing Gown of Doom. I hate those joggers, and I keep meaning to chuck them in the bin, this thread has reminded me.

ManAboutTown · 03/11/2023 23:36

This thread is peak Mumsnet - contact the BBC and Daily Mail immediately

TulipOH · 03/11/2023 23:40

LuluBlakey1 · 03/11/2023 21:51

'The sigh' as he gets out of the armchair when he has a cold- it's a sigh of 'no one has ever been so exhausted, poorly, run-down. I may have to go to bed early.'

We have the same husband.

TulipOH · 03/11/2023 23:41

distinctpossibility · 03/11/2023 21:53

DH does the sigh and also says "I'm feeling very dramatic pause discombobulated" 😂

Noooooooo!!! Ick. 😭

Tessisme · 03/11/2023 23:44

No sighs from DP, just the sound of a very small, weak, quavering voice, making its looong, weary way from his poor feeble voice box (that makes me want to batter him over the head with the nearest blunt object.)

Graasspp · 03/11/2023 23:48

Fucking hell ladies, is it funny that the first two posts are joking about killing your spouse?

Didn't even read any further.

over50andfab · 03/11/2023 23:55

All the Sighmons should be shipped off to the asighlum.

hellywelly3 · 03/11/2023 23:56

We have a “sighmon” here too. But won’t take tablets or any medication. Nothing work’s apparently

Tessisme · 03/11/2023 23:59

Graasspp · 03/11/2023 23:48

Fucking hell ladies, is it funny that the first two posts are joking about killing your spouse?

Didn't even read any further.

Aw, shame you didn't read any further. I'm only considering injuring my spouse rather than killing him. Maybe lighten up?

Deathbyfluffy · 04/11/2023 00:02

Chickenfeed67 · 03/11/2023 22:04

I have almost the opposite problem (and I am really very glad not to have experience either the sigh or the dressing gown shuffle).

Mine says, while snotting and coughing every where ‘but, I’m not really ILL, am I?’

Yes, yes you are, please get in to bed and stop sharing your germs with the rest of the world! No, you can’t go to work, remember that time you threw up and had to come home? Gross.

This and the rest of the thread is proof that men really can’t win 😅

Fizbosshoes · 04/11/2023 00:03

DH likes to pretend to be stoical when he has a cold, despite a lot of sighing, oh dears (after sneezing) and shuffling about.
I suggest taking a lemsip/night nurse etc
He says it's best to let its run its course/he'll shake it off in a few days
Half an hour later - asks where said medication is
... but is unable to follow instructions to find it
Then when I find it, he has to ask how many to take/how often etc....
or if we haven't got anything I'll suggest he gets something for a cold....but he's not able to go to boots despite it being a 30 second detour on his way to work!

MadCatLady27 · 04/11/2023 00:12

This is hilarious 😂

DH isn't actually that bad although the "stoic struggling on" can be irritating

My dad is good at the sigh, coupled with the meek monologue moaning to himself saying "oh HIS NAME" like hes trying to voice sympathy for himself!

The sigh and meek monologue is usually combined with the shuffle while wearing the dressing gown of doom (outstanding phrase)

Reigateforever · 04/11/2023 00:15

ColinRobinsonsFart
My husband has the pyjamas of doom... which he wears with his 'big socks' in bed when he is poorly sick.
The pyjamas were his dads... dad has been dead for 40 yrs... DH swears dad did not die in them....I am not too sure.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

MadCatLady27 · 04/11/2023 00:22

RicherThanYews · 03/11/2023 22:19

Has anyone ever seen the rare trinity of Dressing Gown of Doom, The Sigh AND ... The Slipper Shlep.

YES!! My dad does it! (I no longer live at home but my mum assures me it continues!)

It's also reaching quad status as it's coupled with a meek woe is me monologue mentioned above 😂

Quiverer · 04/11/2023 00:30

DH does this thing with shouting at maximum volume when he sneezes, then saying "Oh dear". Every bloody time. With every sniffle, he says "I hope I'm not getting a cold" in a tone that tells you he means the opposite. And he says, equally hopefully "I feel really hot, is it just me?" because he wants me to have to run around sympathising with him due to his terrible fever. I must admit to taking a sadistic pleasure in saying "It's sodding 30 degrees, of course you feel hot, you'd actually have something to worry about if you didn't".

AcrossthePond55 · 04/11/2023 00:36

May I add in the 'short sharp intake of breath through teeth' (SSIBTT)? It's DH's speciality. It fits any occasion; tummy ache? Hand on tummy SSIBTT. Cold? sneeze, blow nose loudly, SSIBTT. Sore throat? Clear throat loudly, SSIBTT, add wince for good measure.

Today we've had 'must have done something to my shoulder'. Every movement of his upper torso elicits a SSIBTT.

Does yours follow you around to make 'an impression' on you? Mine does.

To be fair, he's excellent at hovering over me when I'm ill, constantly asking if I need anything. Problem is that when I'm ill I just want to be left alone to crawl off into a corner and die sleep.

SeaToSki · 04/11/2023 00:44

My DHs specialty is asking should I see the doctor for this every 2 hours…no dear its a standard cold, you will be laughed out of the surgery…and then if I offer him some lemsip or equivalent..oh no I dont like to take drugs…I wasnt exactly offering you fentanyl! And if you did go to the doctors and by some miracle they decided there was something they could treat you for, the treatment was likely to be a drug..arrg…

mulberrybag · 04/11/2023 00:45

I want to add a possible contender:
Rolled up tissue paper to 'catch' the drops, alongside hours of mouth breathing whilst they do their job - puke.
Genuinely the biggest turn-off know to womankind.