To not get paying thousands for a wedding?

[Milkshakeandcream]

I know I'm probably in the minority. It's just something I struggle to understand.

My friend is getting married and it's costing literally tens of thousands of pounds. They haven't really got the money but are saving hard and borrowing and I know that it's what she wants.

I'd be really annoyed if someone judged me for what I spend my money on. We all have to prioritise and do what makes us happy. Knowing this, I still wince at the cost and can't help but think what else the money could be used for.

My cousin spent thousands on a lovely wedding and they divorced three years later.

If you spent a lot do you regret it or was it worth every penny?

I spent £12k and borrowed some of that from brother (paid back within a year as I was then earning well).

I kind of do regret it, yes. I never expected a big white wedding it just all snowballed. First you need a licenced venue and of course the more expensive ones are the prettiest. And so many people asked what my dress would be like that I abandoned my plan to get something I could wear again and spent £1k on an uncomfortable dress that wasn’t even particularly flattering.

The bbq was ok and the favours were great but things like the church told us we needed to use their usual flower lady and then needed to donate the flowers to the church after the service 🧐 I wasn’t in the mood to argue but money was wasted yes. At least I did my own hair n make up n bouquet.

I do regret not having a photographer for longer, we hired him for 4 hrs and no one remembered to take photos at the evening party.

I dunno, had a fab day but it was all a bit too traditional and expensive. I wanted to take our parents on holiday and get married on a beach but DH said no. Then I wanted to have a big picnic and a band but DH said no. He was more about making a statement about his career success to his colleagues I think.

And odd day culminating in some of the worst sex I’ve had. 🤷‍♀️

The average wedding at a proper venue is expensive these days, even without loads of "extras". We spent around £20k on ours this year and I have no regrets. We wanted our wedding day to be a big, special event because we're not planning on doing it again. Our marriage doesn't mean any more or less than it would if we'd eloped or had a smaller/cheaper wedding but the celebration was important to us.

I'll never understand people complaining about how much other people spend on weddings. No one's forcing you to do the same are they?

Spent about £17000 around 15 years ago - had church ceremony but then onto a marquee reception in a local field. 110 guests and provided canapés, hog roast, curry and finally cheese,port and chips - had vegetarian options as well. All alcohol and sort drinks,tea coffee free also. The £17000 included all dresses,suits,flowers and make up - and the band and photographer. So cheap because was an open venue with no preferred suppliers - present list was with booze merchant or caterers so whatever anyone gifted they enjoyed at wedding reception!

25 years ago you spent 5k! That’s when my high school friends started getting married - I can’t think of anyone who spent as much as that. And you depended upon free/cheap labour from family and friends as well.

Its really incredible to me that having yourself had an expensive wedding despite using family and friends a quarter of a century ago you can’t fathom how people spend money on weddings now.

Absolutely insightless, and yet so smug about something so pointless.

Amazing.

I’d never do it but then I’ve never been interested in getting married anyway. What other people want to do with their money is up to them though ( of course).

It's all about those Instagram pictures rather than actually getting married.

My wedding cost £30k 10 years ago. About half of that was paid for by my parents and in-laws, the rest we had saved. There were 150 guests, an open bar, lots of food and it was in a stunning venue. Cheesy as it is, it really was the best day of my life. My jaw ached from smiling so much. After a really difficult few years as a family it was wonderful to have everyone together. I don’t regret it in the slightest and I couldn’t care less if I’m judged for it.

When I got married we only spent money on the registry office and material for my dress, which was £45. Mum made the cake with a friend doing the icing. I catered and we had a very slimmed down guest list, our parents and brothers, in our flat. The groom wore a flash jacket made by his mum. It was her wedding present.

We were brassic and didn't want to get into debt. The marriage lasted 8 yrs.

Conversely, I heard that a local resteraunteur spent £65K on his daughter's wedding for her to be back at Mum's 3 months later.

I prefer the old fashioned village hall where everyone contributed and was part of sending the happy couple into the future. I'm old.

Ours cost £16K in 2002 and was the absolute best day of our lives.

I prefer the old fashioned village hall where everyone contributed and was part of sending the happy couple into the future. I'm old

Friends and relatives contributed to ours by helping with the catering and spending the previous week setting everything up. It wasn’t that long ago.

Was reflecting on this recently, having just been involved in 2 weddings where the behaviours of the brides in the run up was borderline outrageous. Your own wedding day might be one of the single most important events in your life, but for the majority of your guests it's not given a second thought once the day is over. People will place value on what is important to them and you can't really blame them for that, but I do appreciate where you are coming from.

I don't really like the sneering about people spending ££ on an expensive wedding and the smug comments about short marriages

I don't regret it at all. Cost around £15k excluding honeymoon. It was within our means and we wanted to be able to invite all the people we cared about, which was a lot. I can't imagine ever being surrounded by so many people I love again.

Catering for that many people is expensive. Considering the number of people (160) I actually think we were very frugal!

“Our guests said it was the best wedding they’d been to”.

That’s what people say at weddings.

Ours was a church wedding, 100 guests for dinner, free bar, all night for everyone- canapés, 4 course meal with port and cheese and then a hog roast.
Cost us 10k as the hire of the venue was free (family friend).

we married abroad and then had party evening do on return for 30” guests

total cost 5k for both
donrt regret it as me and dh paid the lot

grown adults having expensive weddings paid for by parents are incredible selfish imo

many people i know who did so, have parents on much less money than them

i wouldn’t let my parents contribute anything

300 guests

Indeed. My first wedding cost just over £100 and didn’t last a year.

We had a tiny wedding. It was a good day, no regrets, you’re not “extra” married if you can afford a big wedding. We preferred to use our money towards furnishing a house as we were starting with nothing.

Im now watching my youngest and his girlfriend plan their wedding. They’re spending thousands. She doesn’t work, he’s got a part time job, they live rent free with us. I assume he’s wiping out his savings for it. I’m dreading it, I know we’ll have to help with the expenses and we just don’t have it.

We spent 1k including dh suit and my dress, We simply didn't have the money.
Many said it was the most relaxed and informal wedding they'd been to.
Registry office, few drinks down a wine bar. I also hate fuss so this was perfect foe everyone.

I had a big wedding, 110 people if I could turn the clock back I'd chop it by a third. People we never see 10 years down the line.

But that really only cuts the food and drink bill not the other costs, flowers, dresses, etc etc.

Ours was very small, and we both enjoyed it very much. It was a long time ago, so I don't remember the cost, but it was minimal. The photographer was probably the most expensive thing we paid for, and our parents, from memory, paid for the reception. If I was to get married again - not going to happen - I would still have a small fuss free wedding. No matter how wealthy I was I could still find something better to spend a huge amount of money on.

As a pp mentioned, our guests all liked that it was informal and friendly.

I definitely won't be! We're going to have a very small intimate wedding (just parents and siblings) somewhere like Greece or Italy.

According to the BBC on The Wheel, the average cost of a wedding in the UK is £18,400!

Shocking to me. I know people value the day but I didn't know so many people value it so highly.

Ours cost somewhere between 4 and 4.5k, which is still a lot more that I would have hoped to spend. We had around 40-45 guests.

It was nice but I'd have been happy to do it smaller still!

My wedding was around £1500. Small wedding, doing it the way we wanted to do it!
Fabulous day!

It's the meal. Ours was £12K plus VAT for the wedding breakfast. My Dad paid as he was hosting.