Today DC was being a bit challenging so DH snapped his belt at her pretending he was going to hit her with it. I have genuinely never in my life heard a belt be snapped and it's quite loud! He had folded it in half and sort of pulled it taut and slackened it to make the noise.
I have always associated that sort of gesture with domestic violence and it isn't a theme (even as a joke, not that one should joke about it) I want in our home. DC is only 7 months so she won't understand at all but I feel like if I don't mention it it's just something he might do later?
I asked DH conversationally if it was something his dad did and if he was ever hit. He said sometimes. DH very rarely talks about his dad and he died before DH and I even met. But from the sounds of it MIL was controlled, DH was hit. Before I knew this, MIL came across as quite a nervous, timid lady and I cAn definitely see how that happened... Anyway DH always says he is very different from his dad or he will describe his dad as a very traditional man etc. DH is generally a very gentle person and i don't think I've ever heard him even raise his voice. My own dad is very similar and quite a gentle giant, he never raised his hand or even when fighting with my mum he never came across menacing. That's just some background.
AIBU to tell DH not to snap his belt ever again meaning someone was going to get hit, even in a jokey way?