Toddlers and TV

[witchbitch22]

18 month old dd has recently discovered CBeebies. She doesn't watch it a lot but she is pretty full on and this is the only thing that keeps her quiet and sitting still for half an hour. We've also found that she really loves Moon and Me on the bedtime hour and it seems to help her chill and wind down before bed.

She isn't sat in front of the TV all day. We go out a lot to classes, swimming, parks etc and even on wet days will go for a walk at least once. But I'm only human and sometimes I just want to sit and have a rest and a coffee!

I've also had to relent and let her watch videos on my phone while we've been out for meals recently. Again, this is something I swore I wouldn't do but she simply won't sit still and when we are in cafes our out for lunch I would rather let her watch 15 minutes of Miss Rachel so I can finish my meal than have her running around disturbing people.

I see a lot of people on MN claim that they are 'no screen households' and I guess I feel bad that I am using TV (albeit very moderately) to get some peace now and then. Is it ok for half hour periods alongside an active lifestyle?

It's fine. Ideally toddlers would have no screen time but ideally, we'd all have family members helping out all the time to give us a break so.....do what works within reason.

I see a lot of people on MN claim that they are 'no screen households' and I guess I feel bad that I am using TV (albeit very moderately) to get some peace now and then. Is it ok for half hour periods alongside an active lifestyle?

Why do other people’s choices for their lives make you feel bad?
They have made the decision for their child and their lifestyle, you make the decision for yours.

My toddler will watch 20 minutes of something in the morning and then 20 minutes in the evening between getting into jammies and reading in her room.

I personally draw the line at iPads and phones and don’t allow her to watch something on either, particularly not out and about. It’s just a decision we have made for our life. I think ultimately it ends up being detrimental to socialisation and behaviour while out.

Some people will allow their kid to watch more, some less. It really doesn’t matter what others do.

I did the no screens thing for the first couple of years but I can't say I'd do it again, hasn't made any difference imo.

We were a "no meals out with the kids" household until we knew we could do it without them being bored and playing up.

It’s fine.
It’s all well people saying never, but most of them have family to help, childcare, etc..

If we never ate out until Ds (age 3) could sit still we would never have gone anywhere to eat or drink the last 3 years.

Growing up we had unlimited tv and now as an adult I hardly ever watch tv, maybe something once a month max on Netflix.

I let Ds watch it whenever really. Between us being out and about, morning nursery, playing there isn’t that much time left anyway

What you describe sounds totally fine, TV is fine in small and specific doses. What i think can be unhelpful is having the TV on constantly when they're not really watching it, it really is causing an epidemic of kids and adults who cannot focus.

Mall amount of TV before bed, fine, it's an activity.

Phone at the table, just no. Eating out is social and you can parent without a phone or having her run around. If you must, no sound on whatsoever.

TV (very very occasionally and supervised by us), fine. Phone - an absolute NO.

I would only judge you for the phone at the table if the sound was on 😅 If not, no big deal, do what you need to do.

My nearly three year old has an hour or so of TV in the evening after spending a completely tech free day at his childminders. I think as long as everything is in balance it's fine.

He also loves Moon and Me by the way!

I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with watchin TV in moderation. I remember watching cartoons in the mornings before nursery (I am guessing my parents used this time to get themselves washed and dressed).
What I would be more cautious about it completely relying on "mobile nanny" while out and about. You need to give your child a chance to develop self-regulating skills. So maybe a little bit of this and that when having meals out rather than just plonking them in front of a mobile from the get go.

I'm all for screen time in moderation. When I was pregnant I said my kids wouldn't know what a tv was until they were 6. Then, the first winter with my oldest she needed to use an aerosol three times a day all winter long and thank god for Teletubbies! She wouldn't sit still and allow me to put on the mask without some tv on the background.
I'm less strict now. In the weekend my kids wake up early, crawl into bed with us and watch half an hour of Disney+ while we snooze and cuddle them. We all love it.
They watch another 30 minutes while I'm making dinner. It's easiest then because it's been a long day and they're tired from school and need to unwind.
My kids can also watch something when we go out to eat, but only after the meal while my husband and I finish up or have a coffee, and no sound. Sorry, I can't keep a 2 and 4-year old to sit still that long otherwise.
I think you're doing just fine. People will always disagree with you, but it's your home, your kids and your life. Do what works for you.

It's fine as long as you don't have the sound on in public with no headphones. Mine have up to an hour of TV a day if they're home.

We don't do TV in restaurants etc, but that does mean you have to eat quickly and be ready to cut and run if you reach too far into boredom. We take duplos, beans to string, farm in a tin, bananagrams etc: a variety of small toys to play with quietly at the table. We also play eye spy colours and other games like that. It does require a lot of interaction, but those are some ideas if you want to avoid the phone in that situation.

I think a bigger deal is made of screen time than is necessary. People comment no end how much my toddler (21 months) talks and how great his vocabulary is at his age. Does he get screen time? Yes, quite a lot. Sometimes it's just on in the background, whilst he's playing with his toys. He isn't constantly watching it. I try to stick to the education things, not the overstimulating things that mean their eyes never leave the screen!

I've also had to relent and let her watch videos on my phone while we've been out for meals recently.

You didn’t have to. Own your decisions. It’s not obligatory and it’s perfectly possible to eat out with toddlers without them going on phones. If you really think you can’t then avoid eating out.

DD first used my phone when homework in reception involved a numbers app. We don’t have a tablet and I wouldn’t let her on one.

We all make decisions that suit our family’s best. If you think screens for a one year old is okay then go mad but don’t bother feeling guilty or defensive about it.

CBeebies and Thomas DVDs saved our sanity in the long, long winter when DS was 2 and I was heavily pregnant and struggling (genuinely a long winter, snow into April)

At least CBeebies is generally quite educational, and varied. Youtube wasn't as accessible an option then but it has the disadvantage that the algorithms can get repetitive and the content is variable on quality.

The important thing is that they're not missing out on real life skills and experiences by being entertained by screens, and while it's a good way to wind down and re-regulate, it shouldn't be the only way.

I prefer to keep screens when out and about to last resort when other methods have worn off. Mine were a bit older by the time I got a smart phone so it wasn't much of an issue when they were little. They're now around the age of having their own phones. No one else must hear them. They are away when food is on the table. They're dyslexic and get tired grips easily so the good old reading/ colouring options have never been enjoyable to them. Sometimes my autistic child does need something to focus on and shut out the chaotic world though.

@AnneLovesGilbert - that’s not always possible. We have had meals out after a funeral, after long drive and flight, full day hospital visits etc recently, sometimes everyone is just tired, and if your in a foreign hotel at airport, or at a hospital in next city for example you don’t have a choice as you have to eat out somewhere.

I mean I didn't have to give her the phone in public. But when she's wailing to get out and run around it seems like the best option for everyone. People often complain about kids in restaurants so I'd rather keep her quiet than disturb other people. I do take books, snacks and toys. The screen is a last resort and always on silent/quiet.

I've never met anybody in real life who got to 2 with zero screen time. Screens are part of life now so like anything too much is bad but I see nothing wrong in how you're doing it. As long as the sound is off in restaurants of course! 🤣

Crack on, some people on here are absolutely bonkers regarding screen time.

We're currently watching Ms Rachel - my daughter is primarily non verbal but has picked up words and actions here and there from her.

As far as I'm concerned, its less about the screen and more about whats on them.

I wouldn't fret about it either OP - I too used to watch a lot of tv when young and have little to no interest in it now.

Of course it's fine.

In days gone by when there were no screens, extended family and older children watched babies and toddlers for extended periods of time. The whole "it takes a village" mantra comes from when parents (particularly mothers) had a lot more support.

Anyone I know who has no family nearby uses screen time because it's the only way to get things done.

Don't feel guilty.

We don’t limit screens at home in their down time but I can’t stand seeing kids at tables in restaurants watching videos. However, my first two were very good and enjoyed eating out… my 18 month old is the devil and once he’s full he wants to run around and I never get an enjoyable meal (I’d still rather teach him to be sociable).

My best friend is the opposite, she’s really strict at home but lets her DC watch loud videos on iPads in restaurants so she can enjoy her meal… everyone parents differently.

Do what works for you.

Just do you....stop worrying about others....my 18mth old loves Peppa Pig, she watches, so be it.....taking them out constantly and constantly doing things from tiny then continues, my friend did it and at 6 he still needs to be forever stimulated, my 6yr old had a balance and he still does now.....TV on table, I said I'd never do that but I have, they've behaved....my 6yr old hasn't had TV in a restaurant since being about 4 so it doesn't last

It's fine op. If your child had an older sibling they'd be watching a lot more tv than that!

We never have screens at restaurants though

TV to relax, fine. TV on the phone, never. Take a small toy, a book or crayons or ask for her meal to come out so that she's eating when you are.
It's a slippery slope, you'll find yourself using it to pacify her all the time rather than her learning to be bored, and being bored stimulates imagination and creativity.