Toddlers and TV

[witchbitch22]

18 month old dd has recently discovered CBeebies. She doesn't watch it a lot but she is pretty full on and this is the only thing that keeps her quiet and sitting still for half an hour. We've also found that she really loves Moon and Me on the bedtime hour and it seems to help her chill and wind down before bed.

She isn't sat in front of the TV all day. We go out a lot to classes, swimming, parks etc and even on wet days will go for a walk at least once. But I'm only human and sometimes I just want to sit and have a rest and a coffee!

I've also had to relent and let her watch videos on my phone while we've been out for meals recently. Again, this is something I swore I wouldn't do but she simply won't sit still and when we are in cafes our out for lunch I would rather let her watch 15 minutes of Miss Rachel so I can finish my meal than have her running around disturbing people.

I see a lot of people on MN claim that they are 'no screen households' and I guess I feel bad that I am using TV (albeit very moderately) to get some peace now and then. Is it ok for half hour periods alongside an active lifestyle?

@Caterpillarsleftfoot - mine sits at the table at home with dh and I for every meal. He’s still a nightmare out at a restaurant.
It’s not the same. At home he sits down and we eat together, then we are finished. At restaurants it can be 20-40 mins sitting before food even arrives as you need to order and wait. Most meals at home we are finished within 40mins. Plus in restaurants more likely to order desert so that’s another wait.
He’s 3, he can do about an hour max, but I happily give him tv and headphones after that if service is slow or dh and I want to order a drink after or similar.

Don’t worry what’s others think and do, and definitely don’t belief all these people who say they are screen free.

She’s posted asking for what others think and do.

Why would anyone lie about it when so many people are bragging about plonking small babies in front of tv or screens?!

There’s plenty of research into the affect of screens on how babies and children’s brains develop. That people who work in the industry don’t let their own children use them makes it clear what the known dangers are.

Parents can choose to ignore it for their own reasons but it’s disingenuous and frankly stupid to suggest it’s all just fine, you do you mumma, your bubs will be okay whether you interact with them or let a screen babysit them. It’s like an inverse snobbery.

We used to let our toddler watch tv (usually cebeebies or Blippi) from being about 18months old up to about 2.5 years for maybe 30 minutes at a time but we found that his behaviour was getting worse so we trialled stopping the tv and his behaviour massively improved so now we watch a Disney film on a Sunday evening and sometimes a Julia Donaldson film mid week and that’s it. I’m not completely against screen time but as it affected his behaviour we’ve now stopped it. He’s nearly 3 now and he’ll happily colour or do jigsaws on his own whilst I get things done instead of me putting the tv on for him.

Some TV sometimes is fine

It's totally fine and a good way for everyone to have a little relax. Plus most of it has some sort of educational element to it these days.

Personally I think that the no screen time idea is unrealistic in this day and age. Our local school give them all iPads when they start reception at age 4. Not saying I necessarily agree with this but everything in moderation....

We do a bit of tv for when we all need a bit of a decompress, I think that’s fine.

But I honestly think no phones when out for a meal makes it easier on you. I briefly did it with DC1, then went cold Turkey and now neither have them out and about and I find it much better and they’re now used to it and have a longer attention span.

You do you.
Parent the way you want and that works for you.

Don’t worry what’s others think and do, and definitely don’t belief all these people who say they are screen free.

Why would I lie about it?

My older son (now 39!) was very full-on, needing to be occupied every waking moment and if it hadn't been for VHS I'd've gone mad. I could have gone on Mastermind with the specialised subject of Postman Pat and his black & white cat! Eventually graduated to reading books and playing video games...didn't seem to do him any harm. He grew up OK, as did his younger brother. Sometimes you just need to do what works and don't worry.

Personally I have no issue at all with 30 mins of tv a day at home for a toddler, and I'd be surprised if anyone else did either. However personally I do think it is not great to use TV as a pacifier at mealtimes whether at home or out and about. There is a lot of research about how beneficial talking to kids at mealtimes is to language development. I do get that toddlers like to run around in cafes but the answer is - you either put up with a bit of wiggling (they're not doing any harm under your table in a family friendly cafe for example) or you leave if it gets too much.

DS watches TV at home & at Granny’s house.
He doesn’t have any other devices or look at our phones.
Loves chatting & meeting new people when out.

"Don’t worry what’s others think and do, and definitely don’t belief all these people who say they are screen free."
My 4 year old and 9 month old are indeed screen free. Four year old has watched about 5 movies in her life as a special treat, we just don't have screens as a part of our routine. I have a supportive husband and childcare so absolutely not saying it is easy for everyone to do this - I also wouldn't have a huge issue with my 4 y/o watching cartoons at this stage but we have no TV, I have never wanted my kids grabbing at my phone or laptop, and TV is just not part of our lives. It's absolutely not true that everyone saying they are screen-free is lying or that it is impossible for anyone to do this.

People on MN are also full of shit. Don’t worry, your toddler is fine watching some TV. There is no reason to worry about this.

I think you’ve got the balance right. I use the tv when I need to get stuff done. They tend to watch Disney more than anything. We sometimes have lazy pyjama days, eat popcorn and chill watching a film. My twins are almost 4 and Eldest is 6 and a half.
The ‘mum guilt’ feeling is always looming. I wouldn’t worry about what anyone else thinks or that there is a ‘better’ way.
If your child is active, goes out and does other things, then I think a bit of TV is nice for them to calm down and relax a bit, especially before bed.

If you use your phone in restaurants and that works for you, then do it. I take colouring books and pencils but then mine are a bit older and if they weren’t engaged in that, I wouldn’t hesitate to use my phone as the next resort, especially if they were disturbing other tables.

The fact this is concerning you, shows that you are conscientious and a good mum!

As long as you don't use as a babysitter it's fine. I was the primary care provider for my grandson during the pandemic, I'm also a childcare practitioner. We used CBEEBIES as a learning tool. He is 4 now and can use Makaton and basic sign language thanks to Mr Tumble. He learnt colours, alphabet and to count. We love the baby club and would dance to Oti's Boogie Beebies. Screens are OK, just check what they're watching and interact with it, join in and have fun.

The child is going to grow up in a society where everyone is attached to their screens tighter than they were to their umbilical cords. Tests have shown toddlers & babies who are allowed to interact with tablets & phones have far better manual dexterity than ones who have not been given that opportunity. Stop depriving her of the most useful skill her generation can have.

I used to be like this with my first child, then my second child was diagnosed autistic and literally the only way I can clean anything/do any job at all is by putting a film on for him - Minions, Up, Inside Out, Bolt, Grinch or similar.

So he and my youngest have watched a lot of Disney+! It's done none of them any harm and my eldest is secondary school age and still wanted an Xbox etc to play with his mates online regardless of the fact he was raised on very limited screens, which I was fine with. He has set time limits etc and really enjoys it.

You do you!

Tv at home, in moderation and mixed with other activities are fine in my view. If you choose carefully, they can learn from it too.

I would be another definite no though for tv on phones in cafes/in trolleys/pushchairs etc. There is just no need for it. Use this as time to talk. Take out little pots of fiddle toys or colouring for cafes. My children loved those little craft Pom poms at the table or a book to look at and if they needed to move, one of us would take them out for a few minutes. It’s only a few years that this is needed. Now they are happy to sit at chat when out. So many children just sit staring at screens in shops/cafes etc.

Conversation is one of the greatest factors in developing children’s vocabulary when young and sadly more and more children are entering schools now with reduced vocabulary and attention spans.

This is rubbish. Babies and toddlers do not need to interact with tablets and certainly won’t be hindered if they don’t!They need to be read too, for people to interact in conversation with them, to learn to play, to get along with others, to develop attention.

I 100% disagree with interacting a tablet as babies and toddlers being the most useful skill her generation can have. All those who wait until later still manage to use technology when needed.

There are endless reports like this.
https://news.sky.com/story/amp/toddler-tablet-and-phone-use-linked-to-behavioural-and-social-problems-12249474

Please OP do not feel that you are ‘depriving’ your child by looking after her and managing her screen time!

@Isitthathardtobekind agree! I'm a millenial.. so i didn't touch any kind of phone or tablet until I was a teen. I'm doing fine. In fact I do wish I didn't use my phone as much as I do, but I'm sure many can relate!
After reading this thread I am determined to give my son less screen time (he doesn't get any from phone or tablet, but TV screen at home is our weakness)