Toddlers and TV

[witchbitch22]

18 month old dd has recently discovered CBeebies. She doesn't watch it a lot but she is pretty full on and this is the only thing that keeps her quiet and sitting still for half an hour. We've also found that she really loves Moon and Me on the bedtime hour and it seems to help her chill and wind down before bed.

She isn't sat in front of the TV all day. We go out a lot to classes, swimming, parks etc and even on wet days will go for a walk at least once. But I'm only human and sometimes I just want to sit and have a rest and a coffee!

I've also had to relent and let her watch videos on my phone while we've been out for meals recently. Again, this is something I swore I wouldn't do but she simply won't sit still and when we are in cafes our out for lunch I would rather let her watch 15 minutes of Miss Rachel so I can finish my meal than have her running around disturbing people.

I see a lot of people on MN claim that they are 'no screen households' and I guess I feel bad that I am using TV (albeit very moderately) to get some peace now and then. Is it ok for half hour periods alongside an active lifestyle?

Do as you want and what works! A lot of tv is educational for kids now. Before having mine I used to think I’d not use it as distraction, but I’ve done a 180 on that attitude! We sometimes use the iPad when out, too. This hasn’t impacted my child’s manners when eating out, we still chat to her and her to us, it just prevents horrible tantrums, or did when she was older, she’s 4 now and happier colouring in or chatting, which is proof in itself that it’s not been detrimental.
We have the TV on a lot at home and sometimes it’s just background noise, whilst we play, colour in or chat etc. There’s no such thing as a perfect parent and if there is, it’s probably because they have lots of help, i.e; batteries constantly recharged!

I mentioned to my grandma recently that I was limiting DS screen time and she looked at me like I was insane and said she 'constantly put a video on to keep you lot quiet' when me and my siblings and cousins were children.

It made me realise that there were never limits on things like this when we were kids because technology wasn't such a big part of our lives, and that actually half an hour of CBeebies here and there probably isn't worth worrying about!

Ignore the perfect parent brigade (as you can see from this post MN is absolutely brimming with them, and all just hopping from foot to foot to judge and give their perfect opinions).

Do what works. So long as it’s balanced with other things, screen time is absolutely fine and won’t hurt your child in the slightest. Being so pretentious you time how long they’ve looked at a screen for might as it suggests a rules-laden life.

there’s a ton of really good cartoons out there, let your kid enjoy them here and there.

The tv wasn’t wheeled out the house though. It was switched on and off. No streaming services. Videos needed to be bought, programmes waited to be on, or things would be taped.

Kids having access to shite on phones 24/7 is the problem. The result is a dopamine addicted population who make some people very very rich. The rest become mindless drones who consume media.

Not all screens are created equal. Very few screen time restricted households have an issue with a couple of episodes of bluey on whilst mum and dad clean the kitchen.

Phones being used to placate tantrums and to faciliate meals out and short bus journeys are a completely different story.

i work in tech (in a non technical role, mind) and all of my colleagues, especially the programmers, have households that are very very strict on screens and when they are used. some of the posts on this thread that has assumed that anyone who restricts screens are hippy crunchy dinosaurs couldn’t be more wrong.

My 22 month old DD watches TV quite a lot. She’s at nursery 3 days a week and our weekends are always busy and very very social. We do lots of classes and activities. Her physical/verbal abilities are great. I don’t worry about screen time at all.
We don’t often go for meals out with her but when we do the phone is an absolute last resort - no regrets when we have to use it, though.

Most people are fine with telly in moderation. It's really not that unusual

We don't use screens to manage behaviour in cafes and restaurants though. I don't like the suggestion on here that the choices are hand a child a device in a restaurant or they're running wild and screaming the place down.

CBeebies is (was?) amazing! My boy loved Octonauts, Andy’s dinosaurs, Go Jetters and they’re all educational as well as fun. We’ve even taken trips to see some of the things and places he learnt about back in the CBeebies years. Don’t feel bad at all, it’s all good!

I used to be set against any screen time for preschool children but have ended up using more TV than ideal, partly as a way to keep one child quiet while trying to get the other to nap, partly as a break for me, partly as a way to stop them rampaging round/fighting when they are getting tired at certain times/days. I make sure it's no more than 2 hours on any one day and some days it never goes on

I do find that they self limit with TV and will stop watching after a while and do something else.

What I really think is wrong is small children having a tablet (other than for occasional long journeys). Someone gave one to my son when he was 3 and whenever he used it (only for cbeebies) he would be glued to it for as long as possible and in a complete state when asked to turn it off and behaviour wouldn't return to normal for some time. It's really weird how affected he was. TV doesn't seem to have that extreme effect.

PLEASE STOP! Stop explaining yourself to these judgemental people!

All kids are different! All mums are different! I’m ND, my kids are wild. I get really overstimulated having to wrangle both while out at dinner, so much so that I HATED the whole experience - So we take iPads… they get taken off them when food arrives and given back when they’re finished when we still require a bit of peace to finish ours… so what! It hasn’t detrimentally affected them. My kids are very sociable in terms of meeting new people and making friends on holiday etc, just can’t sit still at dinner.

I promise you, you’ll feel a lot better about your decisions when you stop allowing other people’s opinions to bother you. You do you hun..!! 😉

I read somewhere that being a screen free household is a type of privilege. Because you have enough help from family / friends / enough of a village that you never need to rely on a screen for a break.

Oh fgs 🤦‍♀️ 😂 Everything is a fucking privilege these days 🙄

It’s not a “privilege”, limiting screen time (particularly out of the house) is just being a responsible and engaging parent.

It’s a privilege to have a variety of swanky electronics you can throw at a child when you want to distract them.

Well you will be people saying it is ok and people who say it's not. All families are different.

For us, our kids have been 'watching' tv at home to some degree since they were tiny babies. Neither were easy babies and both liked the TV screen for short periods (baby sensory videos initially). Generally we limit screen time, exceptions are if the kids and/or us are sick, then they do have far too much those days but can't really be helped.

We don't do screens out in restaurants at all though. We never have so can't see us starting to, our kids are 5 and 2 now. We don't eat out much with them because it's not enjoyable frankly, well the eldest is fine now tbf but the youngest is not. If we do ear out it tends to be places like a museum cafe or Macdonald's so no long waits for foods, and large venues where we can walk the 2yo around for a bit if necessary. We take little toys and books and colouring in etc to help entertain them in these circumstances and then obviously both eat as fast as humanly possible to then get them out and home after. So as I say, not really enjoyable, so we don't do it much. I think the problem with this is that 18 months olds never sit for a nice meal in a restaurant so it's just people's expectations that are wrong. But personally screens at meals out isn't a route we wanted to go down.

I let my son watch as much tv as he wanted. We also went out a lot and did lots of activities but he was also 2 in lockdown and I was at my wits end sometimes. I remember walking around the estate it started raining and my toddler was crying like ffs take me home!
cut to now, I have the sweetest, kindest little 5 year old you could meet. He is such a good kid and I adore him. BUT he is really lazy for want of a better word, I wonder if this is down to too much tv?

Personally I got mine a fire kids tablet at that age to stop my phone going flying across restaurants! I just couldn’t have done no restaurants until they are 3, we go out a lot as a family. My 3 year old will now normally chat until food comes and then watch something while she eats. We have actually found that she eats more too. Especially when she was little she would just run around and not actually eat.
This week we have been on holiday so we have been swimming everyday, watching shows, doing activities, no real time for TV. Today she’s exhausted and has school tomorrow so she will probably watch TV most of the day in her PJs. Everyone needs time to rest and recharge.
I have no interest in making me life harder to look better.

Like most things the key is surely...in moderation.. No need to have mum guilt you obviously have created a balanced enviroment. Enjoy your daughter. Everybody does things that they swore they wouldn't pre parenthood!!
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We have actually found that she eats more too.

@GirlsAndPenguins Yes, that’s because she’s not listening to her body. She’s distracted by tv and just shovelling food in.

Children should never watch tv while they eat precisely for this reason.

Although I see your point, I think you have to know the child. My daughter would happily have a slice of cucumber and one nugget and tell you she’s done. This isn’t just occasionally this is every meal. Even with the tablet she never finishes her food (maybe 1/2) and is always very vocal in telling you she’s had enough now so definitely listens to her body. Even with desserts. She will ask for an ice lolly, have two licks and tell you that’s enough. We never force feed her. She is tall and slender for her age, we have no concerns.

Don't worry what other people do. We are an almost no screens household now that DC is 4. DC watches a ten miniute episode of something maybe once a month when ill. This has always been my ambition. But! at 18 months we did TV with every meal, TV when out at restaurants, TV on mobile phones, the lot. I just couldn't cope back then, and it was what needed to happen for DC to eat. Also DC was less able to play by themselves and so there was less for them to do when I was busy. When it's time to drop down (if you want to) you can. What you do now does not need to set the tone for what you'll always do. But equally, if you feel that the amount of TV you have now works for you, your DD, and your family - that's fine too.

My 4yo has watched CBeebies since she was a baby - I always have it on in the background as I don’t like being in silence, and she just watches whatever interests her and ignores what doesn’t. I stick my 3m old baby in front of some dancing fruit on YouTube so that I can eat my dinner in peace!

My 4yo has had a tablet since she was 2 too. We had some friends over recently who commented on the fact that she hadn’t touched her tablet the whole time they were here, compared to another of their friends’ kids who don’t put theirs down. Ours hadn’t touched hers for almost 24 hours by that point.

Of all the things for a kid to watch, I’d say CBeebies is probably one of if not THE best. Almost everything on it is educational. My 4yo had a kids encyclopaedia and we were reading a page about oceans recently. I read about the sunlight zone, the twilight zone, and then she pointed at the bottom and said “and that’s the midnight zone!” I asked how she knew that. Octonauts was her answer!

She loves playing outside and having play dates with her friends, as well as going to activity classes. She can swim already, and build a den and light fires to toast marshmallows. She is an Adrenalin junkie - she loves rollercoasters and sky ropes. We are out and about doing something every weekend, and before she started school, almost every day.

She just started school in September and we had our first parents evening a couple of weeks ago. She’s one of the top of the class. They want them to be about to count to 10 by this age - she can count to 100+. She already knows all of her alphabet and the individual sounds and is easily reading the first reading books they’re sending home (she loves Numberblocks and Alphablocks). She’s also very creative. She’s very sociable and will play with everyone in the class.

This all sounds like a boast but it’s not - it’s just to make a point that not all screen time is bad. CBeebies deserves a lot of credit for where my daughter is!

Bit of TV in the day is one thing. Shoving them in front of a phone in a restaurant is really piss poor parenting.

At home children should be sat at the dining table eating family meals with everyone else. Learning to wait, to see conversation happening, learning manners. A restaurant is exactly the same set up. You can always tell children that don't sit at a table at home when you go out and they can't cope with being still for an hour.

Having a screen free house is "a privilege" but giving a toddler ££££s worth of tech to play with isn't. Okay sure.

My son’s autistic and the only way he’ll eat in a restaurant is if he has a phone to watch. Otherwise he’ll have a meltdown from all the external stimuli. If he’s quiet and everyone else can enjoy their meal I really don’t think it’s a big deal.

Or having a child who can happily play for hours and isn’t giving the parents mental breakdowns due to special needs.

Don’t worry what’s others think and do, and definitely don’t belief all these people who say they are screen free.

Baby Mozart was the only way I got to shower when I had my first.

We always have the TV on, all mine would only ever watch it if something caught their attention, otherwise they’d still get on with what ever they were playing.

The only thing I’d recommend is avoiding Coco melon, only because I attended a talk last year at my DDs school where they talked about how addictive it is, there had been studies about how VA Vets would get better pain relief from watching coco melon than through their pain meds. I can’t remember the exact details but you can look it up. I wish I’d had known when mine were young, my youngest watched it all the time.