To be sad that no one would help

[Parpadew]

Emergency last night and I needed someone to drive a forty minute round trip. That's all. Never asked for this or any favour really before. I offered to pay. No one would help. Not my mum, siblings. One friend would have but she's on holiday. Got a taxi in the end but it was sheer luck one turned up as it's not a well covered part of the country.

Feel really alone right now!

At the time she asked her family, it's true there weren't any.

In any case, waiting five hours outside in the cold and dark is not fun. Sitting in a car for forty minutes round trip with the heater and radio on is nothing in comparison.

Good god, someone's now invented a whole cavalcade of partners...

It wasn’t “luck of the gods” though. It was just one becoming available. End of.
OP is in a city. Are there any cities in the U.K. that don’t have Uber now? I don’t think so. So the luck of the gods just means refreshing the app until the queues start to clear and more of an entire city’s worth of taxi drivers become available.

No Uber in Dundee (I discovered a few weeks ago when I was there for work).

In any case, waiting five hours outside in the cold and dark is not fun.

Do we know he was outside in the cold and dark? Or was he waiting inside inside the station?

So much we don’t know here, though, as the OP refuses to clarify or answer questions.

Interesting to know! I’ll upset the good people of Dundee now, but a place of thar size doesn’t jump to mind as a “city”. In that, if I lived there and referred to it on MN, I’d more likely say town. Many years ago I live in Truro (a city by way of its cathedral) and would never have claimed to have lived in a city. But, I digress… the Uber comment was really short hand for “taxi companies”. So specifically if OP is living in Dundee, I shall it wasn’t the “luck of the gods” to just get a taxi as it became available on Ride Loca.

You're saying you wouldn't leave a family member for 5 hrs when no-one would have known it would be that long. You don’t call up taxi companies and get told there'll be a 5 hr wait, you get told they're really busy and to try again later.

It wasn’t “luck of the gods” though. It was just one becoming available. End of. OP is in a city. Are thereanycities in the U.K. that don’t have Uber now? I don’t think so. So the luck of the gods just means refreshing the app until the queues start to clear and more of an entire city’s worth of taxi drivers become available.

I genuinely doubt it took 5 hours for taxis to be available again, however it would be have been pretty costly under the circumstances. OP was probably trying to save money by getting family members to pick her partner up for free (or in exchange for "payment" that would be significantly less than cab fare). Maybe this whole palaver was just because nobody wanted to pay for a taxi. That also explains why the partner (deliberately) missed opportunities to split a cab with other stranded passengers at the station. Then after hours of trying to convince family members, OP gives in and rings for the taxi.

@Testina
Slight difference in Truro population less than 20k and Dundee over 160k; certainly not a town.

@wesurecouldstandgladioli

The BF is an idiot for travelling when expressly told not to.
It was all over SM that major issues were predicted in the South that would likely impact the entire network which is exactly what happened.
The Op was catastrophising
I mean who calls it an emergency because their BF is stuck and leaps straight to sleeping on the station?
Lo and behold he got a taxi eventually.

The DSis declined as likely she would be stuck for hours in gridlocked traffic because the rail network was down.
Do keep up

I'm sure that ops family members were busy themselves and assumed because op is in a city that a taxi would suffice and that it wouldn't take 5hrs for one to become available.
It's ridiculous to call this an emergency, it wasn't and two middle aged people should be able to take more responsibility for themselves without turning it into such a drama.
If I were ops sister I don't think I'd be too bothered by a fallout.

I’m with you OP & don’t consider a 20 min trip each way a big ask, especially if a family member or close friend is stranded.

Different If there were legitimate reasons they couldn’t, such as they’d been drinking, kids asleep in bed etc.

When I was 19 I got stranded in Derby whilst on route to Newcastle (home) from Plymouth. The tracks were flooded and there were no trains going up north…my mam drives and even she wouldn’t come pick me up 😂 YANBU…I could have done with a friend like you at that time! ♥️

That's really shit OP. I think it depends what your values are. I'd do anything to help usually, unless someone was regularly taking the p*.

But I don't think I'm normal, I'm eager to help.

I hope I never have to test this principle myself.

I think this depends on your definition of 'stranded'. I've faced 5 hour train delays, had to get an uber 40 miles etc.. I'd never ask for help in these situations.

If I felt alone and unsafe facing an overnight wait and no taxis or pubs etc to wait in, then I'd want help and be upset if no one would if they didn't have a reason why not. If someone is drunk, exhausted, has a young baby etc I'd get it.

I'm at that age now (25) that i won't help family that I know that won't pay back the favour! There's going to be a time that they really need help and I just won't do it because they didn't help me when I needed it.

That why I stopped talking to certain people and helping them out ☺️

I was very lucky one night in winter - snow and ice - that my mum came and rescued me, my sister and husband from town about 1-2am. She had drunk a small wine a few hours earlier but did come for us. Taxi queues were mad. One lad that night rang his parents who refused and he was found dead the next day after attempting to walk the 20 minute drive. 20 minute drive here can be several hours on busy roads or fields that have no paths to miss the busy roads. The lad was sadly found after he had basically passed out and developed hypothermia.

Many years back my husband used to travel a lot up and down the country and his train terminated a 45 minute drive from our home and nearest station due to bad weather. I went out for him. His parents did also offer.

Even more recently my ex husband came out during the middle of the night to help me out. I had been called to say my dad had been taken to A@E and needed to get there. No one was answering their phone for ages due to it being the middle of the night and silent functions on phones but once someone eventually answered they came out.

Sadly I’d struggle to help in a lot of situations now as I’m a single parent so night times would be out but if I could help I usually would.

Sorry you’re upset / feel let down !

I don’t have family less than an
hour away so wouldn’t ask anyone !
Emergrncies in the past ( son A and E ambulance unavailable ) our lovely neighbour had daughter as OH drove us there !

Another time ex was away ( my weekend with kids ) I fell ill and spent night in
hospital . Ex refused to come home . A friend did have my kids then . Unsure what I would have done otherwise
Ex I’d ask if it helped one of our kids . Me , no !
I would suck it up I think , but element of pride / independence more than anything !

It’s a really sorry world OP. No wonder you’re feeling let down 💐

Next time they ask you to help out you know the answer NO can’t help sorry & say it everytime after it’s hard at first but you soon learn it’s nicer than being everyone’s doormat.

You asked family members to collect your partner after his train stopped, to bring him to your house? And this would take them 40 mins? And he couldn't have travelled by taxi ?
And yet, in the end, he did travel by taxi. So, maybe they didn't want to make the journey when he had another convenient option

I broke down by the side of a very busy road and had my 4 children all under 7 stood by the car with me. It was getting dark and they were scared. My mum lives a 15 min drive away and just wished me well on the phone, as did my dad who was 30 mins away. Children’s dad was eating his dinner 20 mins away so wouldn’t help. My partner was visiting his daughter 30 mins away so wouldn’t help. Really made me think about the times I’ve made a mad dash for everyone else. You are not unreasonable but others are selfish

This is awful !

Id be fuming

My goodness, I've only got to page 2 and I'm more convinced than ever that MN is full of trolls! Whatever has happened to the milk of human kindness and just putting yourselves out a little to help someone. OP of course you were concerned about getting your partner home and you were not wrong to ask for help - they were stranded. I'm sorry nobody bothered. If you were a neighbour I would have helped without hesitation. People are just so bloody single minded these days.

When did we get so angry about people not wanting to go out in the middle of the night to rescue a fully grown man? A teen I'd have definitely done so, a grown up more than capable of calling and waiting for a taxi, definitely not. I'd say your sister would be calling the relationship damaged if she figures out you're on a public forum slagging her off!

Whilst there are a lot of negative ninnies on here making unhelpful comments, 81% voted that you're not being unreasonable.
Don't help the people again who wouldn't help you. My husband has gone to collect mates of my sons who got stranded by public transport issues, never mind relatives.