To want my name said correctly?

[WhereDoesItAllGo]

My name is unusual, but follows English phonics rules. The same spelling is sometimes used by people shortening a different name with a zed sound, so their nickname is the same as my name, but with zed where I have ess. Unfortunately, some famous people have had this nickname, so the name with zed is known but my name with ess is unfamiliar.

For years I just tolerated my name being mauled. I can be quite shy and I was embarrassed to make a fuss. But I recently started in a new job, and felt it was an opportunity to establish my name correctly. It has been such an effort to stop people and remind them that my name is actually Xysss, not Xyzzz.

Six weeks on, some people are still zedding me. WIBU to start calling them Tom instead of Tim, or Ninny instead of Nina?

Just to add to the discomfort, my nearest more senior colleague, with whom I spend a lot of time and work very closely, has a slight lisp. I think this person may genuinely be unable to pronounce my name correctly. They certainly try, and they pronounce my name with a slight, blurry zed. Unfortunately the coworker who zeds my name the worst also works closely with us. How can I correct the one without humiliating the other?

I have a similar ish problem with my name. I put the pronunciation of my name in my email signature and just correct people whenever necessary. It’s never a big issue, I’d want to be corrected if I was mispronouncing someone’s name. Also I just wouldn’t correct the people who struggles to pronounce it, they’re probably trying their best.

I hear this hard, I go by the short form of a longer name it is emphatically not hard to spell or pronounce and YET

It affects your sense of self - mine is like Sara vs Sarah but not

You don’t.

You just don’t let it bother you. It’s not personal.

My name is Leila. Said Lee-luh way, I’ve spent my whole life being called random Lee/Luh/Lay sounds and it really doesn’t bother me as I know people hate to get it wrong and it only discomforts them if I corrected them.

What's your name?

So you are Issy. But people call you Izzy as that's short for Isabelle.

You need to correct your non lisping colleague. And say 'Actually I was given the name Issy with two S's not Z's so it's Issy to rhyme with Missy'. Then smile a lot!

If anyone references lisping colleague's pronunciation you say 'no I can definitely hear a soft S when she says it'. Then smile a lot!

To check my understanding, are you saying eg there's a famous person called Caz, so people know that name with a zed at the end. Your name is Cas with an ess, pronounced just the same (not Cass) but with just the one ess. People are saying your name correctly but spelling it wrong. Have I got that right?

YANBU to just keep correcting them. If you can wangle a presentation at a team meeting or something (even if it's just introducing yourself & your experience) then do that and start by saying it's Cas, rhymes with Caz but spelled with an ess. You can even say it's like Caz Famousperson but with an ess instead of the zed, or like The Nas in NASCAR or something.

I think it would come across v PA to correct them unless you already have a very good rapport with them .

I'm Coral. But always addressed as "Carol" by every health care professional, DD's teachers, any contact with the council etc etc.
My surname is always bastardised as well. It's a very well known historical surname.

I can only think people skip over what is written down and draw the closest comparison. As for the surname, they're either not au fait with history or they're attempting to pronounce it phonetically.
My name certainly isn't difficult, but you can tell when someone's just skipped over what they've read and not actually paid attention.

I have a name that people get wrong all the time. It's phonetically easy but is a slight variation on what people would normally expect so people say it wrong, spell it wrong and hear it wrong. TBH I think there are many more important things in life to be worried about (and you don't know what challenges other people are facing that is taking up their brain space), and I am not so self-absorbed to think that my slightly unusual name should take priority in all the things those people have to think and worry about. Also people are generally rubbish at detail (see all the basic grammatical and spelling errors, or people misreading posts, on social media as a good example). I am quite detail oriented and see detail everywhere - you couldn't stop me doing that by reminding me, it's just how my brain works. Likewise, you can't make other people's brains work differently. You are on a hiding to nothing; it's probably you who will just end up annoyed and frustrated. Or you could choose not to care. I don't even correct people when they call me by completely the wrong name (which is common over the phone in particular) unless it matters - eg I am taking out an insurance policy or something - I just let them continue. By all means correct your direct team at work, the people you are working with day-to-day, they might get it after a few reminders, but I would try not to worry about anyone else. You'll just be setting yourself up for a lifetime of annoyance and frustration!

There are people who truly can't hear the same nuances in pronunciation. It's why some second language speakers can sound native and others can't. And others may hear but can't replicate the same sounds. It's why some of us are musical and can hear pitch and some of us can't.

My last name is pronounced at least 3 different ways in my own family based on where we raised (my grandparents immigrated to an English speaking county). I never correct people because what's the point? They are saying my name but it's just their version of it. No one is trying to be rude.

I worked with a man who wrote the phonetic spelling of his name on most of his correspondences. While I could pronounce it, several on our team could not but they didn't realize they were mispronouncing it, so we'd be talking about him and half of us were pronouncing it "correctly" and the other half weren't.

I think you have unrealistic expectations of others on this issue.

You correct your non lisping colleague out of earshot of the lisping one.
It would take an extraordinarily weird and petulant person to complain that you're pulling them up and not someone with a Speech impediment

Correct, correct, correct. Every single time.

God these enigmatic name threads are tiresome. Why don't you just NC and tell us the name?

Sorry but if your name veers from the normal people are going to mispronounce it

*norm, not normal!!!

It’s easiest to just let it go. I’ve spent years working overseas, and no one ever pronounces my name correctly. And I’m 100% sure I mispronounce colleagues’ names. I know I emphasis the wrong syllable, but I can’t seem to stop doing it.

I think telling people what your name rhymes with when you are first introduced to them would help, as in the Issy, rhymes with Missy example upthread.

This

This is so true, I used to work with some lovely Greek/Cypriot people and they literally couldn’t hear the difference between something like sheet or shit for example.

I think telling people what your name rhymes with when you are first introduced to them would help, as in the Issy, rhymes with Missy example upthread.

I do exactly that. This is a good example. I do not understand how people can read 'Issy' and decided that it says 'Izzy'. I am not 'Isabelle', and nobody ever assumes that I am from just hearing my name.

There are people who truly can't hear the same nuances in pronunciation.

True. But this s/z difference is hardly a nuance. The lisping colleague doesn't differentiate between s and z in, say, busy and Lizzie, whereas the name-manglers do. So I doubt they can't hear it.

*You don’t.

You just don’t let it bother you. It’s not personal.

My name is Leila. Said Lee-luh way, I’ve spent my whole life being called random Lee/Luh/Lay sounds and it really doesn’t bother me as I know people hate to get it wrong and it only discomforts them if I corrected them.*

This has always been my attitude. Fair enough with people with whom you do not develop any kind of relationship. But TBH I'm getting fed up with it being constant with some people - especially when they tell other people what my name is (in introductions, for example).

Some people do not care that they get it wrong. It's quite clear when someone apologises, how they apologise.

You need to correct every time. Some people in my organisation have ‘pronounce my name and then phonetically / sounded out’ on their email signatures. If you don’t correct everytime they will keep getting it wrong. I always make every effort to pronounce names correctly

There is no difference in the s/z sound between busy and Lizzie!

@WhereDoesItAllGo
How do you pronounce Xysss?

Is it Greek

My name is nearly always said wrong and spelt wrong. It's a foreign name and not common. I really love my name. It's pretty and I feel lucky to have such a nice name.
It literally never bothers me if people call me the wrong name. I occasionally correct people but the fact somebody has said my name wrongs means absolutely nothing. Why should it? Even if it's because they are being lazy what difference does it make to me?
Lots of people have flaws, I'm not sure saying 'zz' instead of 'ss' is that bad.

The lisping colleague doesn't differentiate between s and z in, say, busy and Lizzie, whereas the name-manglers do. So I doubt they can't hear it.

Sorry, what? There is no difference in the s/z sounds in busy and Lizzie!

To be fair, OP. 'Isabelle' is pronounced with the 'z' sound, as is the 's' in busy, so I think it's unreasonable to not understand how people can see 'Issy' and pronounced it 'Izzy'.

That being said, it's your name, it has a correct pronunciation and you should feel at rights to politely correct people.

I agree busy rhymes with Lizzie doesn't it? I can't detect a difference anyway.
And I agree with PP some people can not detect a difference between the s sound and the z sound is quite subtle