To want my name said correctly?

[WhereDoesItAllGo]

My name is unusual, but follows English phonics rules. The same spelling is sometimes used by people shortening a different name with a zed sound, so their nickname is the same as my name, but with zed where I have ess. Unfortunately, some famous people have had this nickname, so the name with zed is known but my name with ess is unfamiliar.

For years I just tolerated my name being mauled. I can be quite shy and I was embarrassed to make a fuss. But I recently started in a new job, and felt it was an opportunity to establish my name correctly. It has been such an effort to stop people and remind them that my name is actually Xysss, not Xyzzz.

Six weeks on, some people are still zedding me. WIBU to start calling them Tom instead of Tim, or Ninny instead of Nina?

Just to add to the discomfort, my nearest more senior colleague, with whom I spend a lot of time and work very closely, has a slight lisp. I think this person may genuinely be unable to pronounce my name correctly. They certainly try, and they pronounce my name with a slight, blurry zed. Unfortunately the coworker who zeds my name the worst also works closely with us. How can I correct the one without humiliating the other?

I'm with you. My name is Julia and I've been called Julie all my life. Nothing wrong with Julie, it's just not my name. I correct. If people can't even get your name right what else is wrong with them!

Geraint rhymes with BARE PINT
The first syllable doesn't rhyme with bare though, it's Ger, rhymes with the berr in berry. Like 'Gerra pint' without the 'a'

I've heard Juh-raint to rhyme with paint before now.

If you're northern, just tell them it rhymes with 'is he'. (We like to drop our h's)

In all seriousness, its annoying, but frankly I'd just focus my energy elsewhere. Try to introduce yourself when meeting people so they hear the correct pronunciation. Ignore those who get it wrong constantly, they're the fools.

Like 'Gerra pint' without the 'a p'. Gerr-int to rhyme

Correct them. Most would be pleased to know how to say it correctly. Sometimes when you tell people your name for the first time, they don’t fully take it in because they’re focussing on remembering your face, where you’ll be working, your hours, etc etc. They then remember roughly what it is but not always exactly. The sooner you correct them, the easier it will be for the name to embed properly in their head. Suggesting a rhyme is good, eg “It’s not Caz, it’s Cass to rhyme with ‘lass’ - Cass..Lass”.

My name is a very simple ( to me, anyway ) easily spelt name. It never ceases to amaze me the mistakes in spelling and pronunciation people make, but it really doesn’t bother me. Sometimes I correct them, sometimes I don’t, but they don’t do it with malice. One of my best friends for 20 plus years is called Corinne - she told me recently I’ve pronounced it wrong since day one 😂 it happens.

Correct them. Most would be pleased to know how to say it correctly.
I disagree. IME people don't like being corrected.

When I've met people it's the name they're introduced with that sticks in my mind, so if someone said someone's name was Freja (Freya), I might feel a bit stupid if I'd called her that for a while before being corrected (Fry-a)

I completely agree. I find that it goes down incredibly badly when I correct someone, even though I do it ever so nicely, with their feelings in mind.

I have three friends called Marie, all pronounced differently. So there’s ‘Marry’, ‘Mah-ree’ and ‘Ma-ree. I always think first so not to offend.

I also have a name with an s as in so, but it mispronounced with an s as in oss. I always gently correct with a smile, tiresome but everyone can give people the respect of saying their name correctly.

If people see your name and don't hear it. Brains can tend to interpret sounds they expect to see not what is actually there. So ob Izzy is quite common so they so issy and brain sees izzy as that's what they are familiar with.

I'd correct the work person who doesn't have the lisp.

Oh, @WhereDoesItAllGo , I really feel for you!!! Names are such an important part of a person's identity, and I think too many people ignore that.
My name is an already shortened version of a longer name, but people still shorten it further despite me only ever introducing myself as my actual name. I even have close friends (of decades) who know how much I hate the shortened version, but still call me it. It's also an unusual spelling and people will reply to emails, read my name, then respond with the more common spelling. My in-laws of over a decade still spell It wrong every single time - they actually use a different spelling for each thing, just never the correct one. 😂 It drives me bloody wild!!!

Unfortunately I've found that there's NOTHING that can be done. Directly telling people, making jokes about it, pulling people to one side... nothing works and people will not change their ways. The only one that can change anything is you, and how you feeling about it.

I know this from many other examples. I'm an adoptive parent and so my understanding of the importance of a name has become even stronger over the last few years. I have a sibling with a hyphenated name and even their partner shortens their name, despite my sibling hating it. People I work with mispronounce service user's names, despite these mostly being quite typical British names. (Think calling someone Ellie instead of Allie.) And don't get me started on the mispronunciation of non-traditionally British names!!! Any staff or service from non-Western heritage with unusual (to us) names are treated so poorly. Staff will ask their name, frown at them, pull faces as they try and pronounce it, literally MAKE FUN, and then end with, "I can't say that so I'm going to call you X (random word that sounds nothing like that person's name, or like any name) instead". I find it so rude and disrespectful. But try as I may to correct staff, it doesn't work.

As a person from the (predominantly white) Welsh Valleys, I have worked in communities with predominantly Muslim Asian heritage, and communities with Black Africa so have had to practise my fair share of difficult names. It's hard, and of course it's easier to just shorten a name or come up with a nickname, but I really believe it's disrespectful. If it's a really unusual name you're bound to get it wrong sometimes, especially if you're talking about something important, it in a rush, or what not. But people should show a will to try! So I do feel for you.

Apologies, @WhereDoesItAllGo ! A very long message to basically say that there's, sadly, not a lot you can do! I'd maybe try a few more times - probably taking people to one side - and if that doesn't change things you have to try and change your way of thinking. 😬 Good luck, Xysss!