School dinners v packed lunch

[F05ters1]

Reception age daughter begging to go on packed lunches already after 6 weeks of full time school.

Every day without fail when I ask her what was for lunch I get... fishfingers chips and beans, I didn't like the chips and I'm off beans so I ate the fish fingers. Please can I take a packed lunch?

pasta and cheese, I didn't like the cheese and the pasta was soggy so I just had the biscuit for pudding. when can I go on packed lunch?

mince and dumplings today, mince was too salty and the dumpling was soggy, please can I go on packed lunches?

blah blah takes a packed lunch. (dd has even approached said mum who said her dd was a picky eater 🙄)

why can't you just say I'm a picky eater mum!

For context she'll eat a salmon fillet at home but won't eat a fishfinger.
She'll eat fillet steak but not a burger.
She eats all veg and salad but isn't keen on meat. I make soup packed with lentils and do lots of eggy things for protein

I'm torn. school meals are free and I work shifts, it's been a godsend not having to worry about lunch for the four year old restaurant critic! but she is so adamant, should I relent?

Sounds like she's playing you. She wants packed lunch because her friend has it. The lunch will have more than one option so she could choose something different. She's deliberately trying to get packed lunches so telling you the food wasn't good. It definitely would never be too salty 😂

Stick to school dinners. You are working hard to provide for her and don't need the extra stress of making a packed lunch, the only sacrifice she needs to make is to eat the free food. Don't back down. I know I sound harsh but my 4 year tryed this for a couple of weeks and I outright told her it was never happening and suddenly she was eating all her lunch when I asked her about. Absolute miracle 🙄.

Kids know how to play their parents by the time they're in reception and try every trick to get what they want. I'd explain to DD exactly why it wasn't going to happen in a nice way to help her understand and explain again every time she asked emphasising that pack lunches are not going to happen. Some times we have to put our foot down for the sale of our own mental health. Packed lunches are more work than people think and if you're working they eat in to precious resting time (never mind the cost). I also explained that my DD could have packed lunch when she can make one herself so now she's started learning how to make her own sandwiches on the weekend 😂 Win, win.

I would suggest you email the school and ask for a copy of the menu. They are often on a three week rotation. Vegetarian options may work better for her. You could sit with her and make suggestions. If she is hungry she will eat. I would suggest sticking to school dinners. Ask her about whether everyone sits together. It maybe she is jealous of where the packed lunch children sit. It's hard making a variety of nutritional packed lunches, specially as you are a busy working parent. It's still early days, she has only had half a term of school dinners!

A true comment likely only made by someone who got free school meals and milk throughout their school life!
so much evidence on how important it is for kids to have a school meal all together and all the same or similar and yet you ignore it all! Christ We should be fighting for the opposite- free school meals for all primary kids not just up to year 2!
if politicians can get free meals when at work why can't our kids!?

I bet you any money that after a while
of packed lunches she will want to go back to school dinners - kids are fickle and always think the grass is greener i’ve had it for years lol
Like others have said i’d definitely stick with school dinners, they really aren’t as bad as some are making out and there are usually multiple options.
Compromise on 1-2 packed lunches a week maybe as a sweetener

School meals may tick all the right boxes in terms of the nutritional rules they have to comply with but that does not mean they are actually healthy or nice.

Also, there are some schools that do have good food, but of course that does not mean they are representative of all school meals.

I listened to a radio programme recently about a school in Glasgow that introduced freshly cooked, healthy and appetising meals and it sounded like an amazing success story. On the other hand, I have some friends who recently moved to an area near Glasgow from a different country and their kids were shocked at how disgusting and unhealthy the food is - pretty much all revolting beige food with a few overcooked greens in the side to pass the nutritional test…

YABU, although I understand the relief the time saving element of not having to think about and prepare a packed lunch brings. My DS sounds the same as your DD. If you want her to actually eat at school, send a packed lunch. The lunches she describe sound awful - would you eat them?

The problem with packed lunches these days is the concept of quantity, nutrition and making it Insta worthy. Take away most of that and they are not a drama.

Mine all had a piece of fruit for recess, and then either a vegemite, or vegemite with cheese sandwich, according to personal preference for lunch. Plus a water bottle filled from the tap. That was from first year at primary school through to last year of senior high school. Hardly onerous lunchboxes to put together each morning when they are little and something they can well do themselves when older. None of mine were ever hungry or faded away at school or were nutrient deficient. The bread was a good quality, low GI bread though. If they have a filling, nutritious breakfast and dinner, that’s fine for lunch.

Some people feel the need to send enough food for a week, covering all food groups, in trendy lunchboxes with a thousand compartments made out of unicorn dust so they can photo them. That leads to others thinking this is normal and that they need to follow suit.

I'm a midday supervisor I wouldn't eat the school.meals, most of the kids eat two bites and bin the rest.

Could you maybe do a packed lunch on a Sunday night for the Monday and then she'll just have to deal with school dinners Tue - Fri?

The school lunches sound awful. But I also fully understand the desire not to surrender her having a hot, free lunch, I feel exactly the same!
Can you talk to the school about the provision? Our primary school dinners were like this until parents raised concerns, they changed their provider in the summer, and now have this amazing local provider which does proper nutritious food and my kids really love them (Menu — FUEL FOR LEARNING (fuel4learning.co.uk)
Could you raise this with the head and see what he/she says? I bet you're not the only family unhappy with the meals if they are that bad!

DNephew’s (5) school dinners are great too (I’ve seen his menus!) with strict nutritional guidelines. He loves them and his DP would do packed lunches if he stopped them though.

Do her friends mostly have packed lunches? Because that's likely the reason she's gunning for them, and she might not be telling the whole truth about what the dinners involve and what she eats of them. I'd stick with the dinners under the circumstances.

Universal free meals for infants is a terrible
policy. Much better to means test and then spend more on making actually decent food for the ones who need it. I live in a very MC area and 95% of the school I’m sure don’t need the free meals. But because the budget is stretched so thin the food is tiny and so unhealthy. The comfortable kids go home to another hot meal, this time nutritious and filling, while the poorer kids have had their hot meal and that’s that.

Im lucky not to need the free food so have persuaded my two onto mainly packed lunches. We bought food flasks and send them in with the hot meals they like through winter - chilli and rice, pasta and bolognese etc. Although they still insist on school meals on pizza day which I can live with.

School meals also come with sugar laden cakes and desserts every day. They serve yogurt and fruit too but guess which most kids choose.

They really need to charge the parents who can afford it and lift the quality by about 300%.

So in your position OP I would make packed lunches. I know it’s one more thing but it’s what, 5-10 minutes to ensure your child has a nutritious and filling meal?

Get a food flask keeps food warm for 8 hours. Can use up what's leftover from the night before. I did this for DD when her respite started asking for £5 to give her a bit of tea.

Christ. Defrosted sandwich sounds ranker than the rankest school dinner.

Eww I'd rather eat soggy pasta

We compromised and did packed lunches twice a week. We did that all the way through primary, even when we had to pay for it. They now have packed lunches every day in secondary, it's quick but not the best - a wrap, packet of crisps and a granola bar or flapjack - but better than what they choose themselves from the canteen! They do get a healthy dinner.

nutritious and balanced? are you by any chance in another country? because that is certainly not the case in most schools in the UK... even a lot of the fee paying ones! obviously it varies by region.... but mostly its crap

Alternatively you could send her to France, she would fit right in

Absolutely this - and add most of the rest of Europe to that. I find so many of these responses, about children ‘eating anything’ and not wanting to raise fussy eaters really depressing. As a society, we have such low standards around food for our kids. My DM is still traumatised by being force fed revolting school dinners back in the ‘60s - she’s the ultimately fussy eater now as it really messed up her perception of healthy food and eating.

I totally understand that school food varies widely, and that a lot of people have no choice. But luckily our family does and, personally - having spent a lot of time in schools before DD was born and seen what was on offer - there was no way I was going to make her eat school dinners, free or not. Here, the menu that’s sent out each week looks perfectly fine, but bears very little resemblance to what’s actually served up, and portions are tiny. So many UPFs and meat from dubious sources (‘chicken sausage’ in a dry bun was a particular low).

DD (Year 1 now) has had packed lunches from the outset. She’s the only one in her class, and we do get the odd comment from others about it, but she’s happy and we’re assured that she’s eating a filling and nutritious lunch every day. She has a mix of sandwiches/home made flapjack/fruit/cheese and biscuits and hot food in a food flask (pesto or tomato pasta, meatballs, sausage and beans, home made soups etc).

It’s not really schools’ or parents’ fault in most cases, but as a society we should be doing better by our kids.

My daughter is very fussy and I am making her have school dinners. I don’t want to make a packed lunch, and the school dinners is good wholesome food, and I want her to open up to things. So far we are managing, but there is a fair amount of moaning. I’m not giving in. 😂 I understand your pain. It’s really hard.

Budgets don’t have to be high, making two decent meals isn’t expensive. Where we live all school dinners are free during compulsory schooling. The average cost is £2.20 per meal (the actual cost in primary is lower due to portion sizes). At my sons school there is at least one fish, one meat and one veggie option a day, along with steamed veg, salad, fruit, the pasta, potatoes etc as appropriate. Children don’t have to order, theres enough that they can have a bit of everything if they wish.

The food is well cooked (veg are just grey slop) and actually seasoned, puddings also aren’t a mix of sweeteners and margarine either.

Again with my grandchildren at their primary the ones having school lunches must go the the dining hall those with packed lunches may stay in their classroom and guess what a film is put on for them. Is it any wonder they opt for pack up?

My son is picky but he now eats most of what the school gives him, took the 1st term but he will now try much more than used to. Ours have meat/vegi options plus jacket potato. I would persist as they’re free and maybe just needs longer to get used to them

Free hot meal!

maybe pack a backup sandwich that she will eat but won’t like, and that doesn’t need refrigeration so it can stay in there all week if needed ( ie fake nut butter). Then she has something for the day they make something totally unpalatable. Also she should make the backup sandwich.

The free hot meal is also getting here to try things! Which is great! She at least tried the soggy pasta and mince.

My daughter is also fussy and has been asking to switch to packed lunches since soon after starting reception. Year 1 now. I have held firm and made her stay on school dinners. She was picky and didn't eat much as it is. So at least at school she's got options to try different food and force herself to try things. She still wants to go on packed lunch, but by having school dinners she's tried more foods and some of it she likes. So I'd rather she stayed on school dinners to try and combat her fussy eating. So far I think it's working.