School dinners v packed lunch

[F05ters1]

Reception age daughter begging to go on packed lunches already after 6 weeks of full time school.

Every day without fail when I ask her what was for lunch I get... fishfingers chips and beans, I didn't like the chips and I'm off beans so I ate the fish fingers. Please can I take a packed lunch?

pasta and cheese, I didn't like the cheese and the pasta was soggy so I just had the biscuit for pudding. when can I go on packed lunch?

mince and dumplings today, mince was too salty and the dumpling was soggy, please can I go on packed lunches?

blah blah takes a packed lunch. (dd has even approached said mum who said her dd was a picky eater 🙄)

why can't you just say I'm a picky eater mum!

For context she'll eat a salmon fillet at home but won't eat a fishfinger.
She'll eat fillet steak but not a burger.
She eats all veg and salad but isn't keen on meat. I make soup packed with lentils and do lots of eggy things for protein

I'm torn. school meals are free and I work shifts, it's been a godsend not having to worry about lunch for the four year old restaurant critic! but she is so adamant, should I relent?

If what she is saying is true, I'd swap to packed lunch so the kid isn't hungry. However first check whether she is properly helped to chose meals. At our school there is always a main and a veggie main, a sandwich and a jacket potato available, so unless she is very fussy, she would be able to find an option. Maybe no-one reads the menu for her properly? The one thing our school do that frustrates me, is they tend to do the same base food for both the veggie main and the meat main e.g. pasta bolognaise or pasta veggie bolognaise. I sort of see that it means the veggie kids get the same thing which is good, but sometimes I think it would be good it they mixed it. If your child has say texture sensitivities, they might not eat bolognaise regardless of meat/veg. If they did however love nuggets, they might be happy with chicken nuggets one day and Quorn nuggets the next!

Make her a packed lunch.
At least you will know she has eaten.

School dinners at this age are free, nutritious, balanced and I don't have to make or pay for packed lunches, I wouldn't dream of swapping!
She'll have to just learn to be less fussy.

My ds was the same - hardly ate and still eats like a bird. He stayed on school dinners till year 2 and then had lunch boxes. We apoke to school and he had the option of sandwiches at lunch opposed to the hot meals (which he hated) he barely even ate the sandwiches. He is now year 3 with packed lunches and still comes home with half a lunch eaten 🤷🏽‍♀️ Even though its everything he likes….go figure

Just make her a packed lunch.

I was at school in the 80s and was on school dinners which were awful beyond description. I have vivid memories of spending the entire lunchtime (over an hour) sitting alone staring at whatever congealed horror was on the tray. I also remember the relief when my mum said I could take my own lunch.

What food do you take to work? Can you not just make her packed lunch at the same time you sort your own? You might have to pay for the packed lunch, but I've saved a fortune over the years by very rarely buying food at work.

I’m no math expert but let’s keep things in perspective…..

Those saying give packed lunch….. school lunch times are only 5 meals out of roughly 21 meals a week.

She has (going by breakfast, lunch and dinner) 1,092 meals a year. 195 (5 meals a week for 39 weeks a year) at school and the rest out of school.

mine complain when they see their friend with a fun packed lunch.

I give mine a good healthy, filling breakfast. Such as a smoothie, porridge and some toast.

I give them a fruit for snack time.

and bring a snack bar with me to eat in the way home, then they have a little sandwich or yogurt when they get in

(they would still want the above even if they had picked lunch)

they have a home made dinner.

I am sure she is reaching her nutritional value each day and will survive with school dinner and a less stressed mum

I don’t think you CAN make rank, low nutrition food with love. There’s no love in providing children - or anyone - with that. That kind of food is made without care, without responsibility, and with only budget in mind.

it’s tragic we feed our schoolchildren (and hospital patients) so poorly in this country. And shameful.

Is there a menu? My daughter gets to pick twice a week to have packed lunch and the rest is school dinners. Her making the choice herself seems to stop her complaining.

I have a very picky daughter. Now year 2.
i pushed through with school dinners. I wanted her to get less fussy. And she did. But her school always offer a jacket potato too and I think pasta as a daily choice. She now is eating more and trying more things.
our compromise was that she gets a packed lunch every last day before end of term and I don’t negotiate over this.
but I also rarely ask her what she had for lunch ( couple of times a month maybe?) and just let her get on with it.
but I also don’t worry if she may miss a meal as she is a normal weight.
Good luck!

We had that issue too. I switched to packed lunches, when she could have had hot dinners. It was better because I could see how much she ate, and she'd finish it off after school. Now she wants hot dinners again! So she has them every Friday.

You say you work shifts, what sort of shifts are we talking & what is the childcare set up? If you are picking up from after school club/childminder etc at say 6, arriving home at 10 past, I think that is too late to start a 4 year olds dinner as they won’t eat until half 6/7 best case scenario, although I know lots of Europeans would disagree & they do eat later. I would expect a 4 year old to be in bath at that time not eating their hot meal. However if you are picking up at 3:30 with the rest of the day off then happy days give them packed lunch & do a hot evening meal.

sounds like your dd has good taste. I would just give her a packed lunch. doesn't have to be complicated.

My son is also in reception and has been on packed lunches from the beginning, partly to accommodate his dietary requirements (no pork or dairy), and partly due to him needing a lot of sensory input at meal times, and being unfamiliar with the meals on offer.

He has a little thermos pot that keeps his food piping hot till lunchtime (we tested it out), this has made a huge difference compared to his lunchbox at preschool as he can take hot leftovers from the night before, rather than preparing a whole lunch in the morning. Today he’s taking a spicy pepperpot stew with dumplings, but we also send curries, rice, pasta or homemade soups in the pot, school have been fine with this, and the teacher often jokes that she’s a little jealous of his lunches.

Occasionally he’ll take a sandwich with hummus, toum (a garlic spread- like aioli), lots of rocket, pickles and grated carrot, but that’s about as fancy as I’ll get in the morning, sometimes I’ll add grilled chicken or falafel if we’ve any in the fridge.

I’m lucky enough to be a stay at home mum, but I don’t think reheating leftovers is that much work in the grand scheme of things and it means I can monitor exactly how much he’s eating (we’re waiting to see a dietician as he struggles to gain weight).

Schools generally have 3 or 4 options - hot dinner, vegetarian option, school packed lunch and sometimes a jacket potato option. I work in schools and some have better menus than others but there is quite a lot of waste as some children are just generally very picky or don't focus. I used to let my child have a packed lunch 2 days a week and we had the menu in advance so chose those days according to what he liked/didn't like.

Alternatively you could send her to France, she would fit right in.

⬆️ this. Shameful in this country we expect our kids to eat crap. Your daughter sounds like she has great taste in food, and it’s sad she gets fed poor food at school. I would aim for a compromise - maybe tell her she needs to eat 3 meals at school and let her choose these off the menu - there is one presumably? Then do her 2 packed lunches.

School dinners at our school don't sound great, but there's always a jacket potato or baguette option for those that don't want the main.

Mine wants packed lunches too. I've told her she can in year three, and that seems to have satisfied her. With the odd special day where I make packed lunch (we can pick day to day at ours).

My DD is Y1 but in reception she was the same, I think it was because she was used to packed lunches at Forest nursery but she seems to have got used to school dinners now and I assume she eats them, I never really know what’s she had though as she doesn’t always know what the dish is called. The school have recently changed to parents picking the lunch choice online which I quite like as I can vary it and avoid certain things if I know I am cooking a similar meal later.
from what I can gather reception kids all mostly eat jacket potatoes at school, or at least they did at my DDs school!

Are there not meal options to choose from? Ours have 3-4 choices every day that we pre select at the start of term.

Agree with the other poster - packed lunches from year 3 onwards when we have to pay. There is no way I’m going to spend money wasting time making a packed lunch when dinners are free. I value my own free time and sanity more than that. My eldest was also satisfied with that and now in year 3 has packed lunches twice a week.

Stick to school meals.

I work at a school, it's not all bad but I'd say only about 30% I'd find appetising. Most schools these days have a salad bar, offer jacket potato with a couple of topping choices and sometimes fruit as a dessert - would she eat these?

If not, I guess you have to weigh up what your priorities are, a free meal and a hungry child or a packed lunch. Doesn't take much time to make up a sandwich or if you're making something like tomato pasta yourself the night before, keep some aside for her lunch. Bananas take no preparation and apples/grapes doesn't take long to wash. Ideally you'd avoid packaging, but things like babybel, cereal bars, yogurt, also take very little prep.

Is it really about the food? My granddaughter switched to taking packed lunches as it took so long getting served it cut down her lunchtime break to socialise with friends.

My daughter is exactly the same. But I’m not giving in and making a packed lunch. She’s just as fussy with what would be in a packed lunch and would end up eating the same thing everyday. So she might as well be fussy with school dinners which are free and avoid the faff of doing sandwiches every evening. She’s not great with general table etiquette so I want her to have proper hot dinners, using a knife and fork with all her friends.

We do school dinners three days and packed lunch two.
Personally if she's not eating them of do packed lunches. I do it the night before and then it's not too much effort in the morning.
She will have pasta or sandwiches, crisps, fruit, carrot sticks, jelly and a marshmallow squares or a packet of biscuits.
Can you ask school for a menu and maybe sort out to just send lunch on the days it's good she really won't eat. My daughter hates pizza so takes a packed lunch on those days and the days they do Currys. So every Tuesday and Thursday for her. Means she still gets hot dinners and it's not as expensive as doing it every day xx

Would she do better on the school's veggie option?