Should I ditch my embarrassing first name?

[Keane900]

Hi, my birth name is Sascha and I am an Irish man living in Ireland. The past few years I've been getting uncomfortable with my name as I feel like my name is effecting parts of my life. I feel a bit hesitant to tell people my name because I get weird looks, and feel like it's hurting me professionally aswell. I also got quite bullied growing up because of my name and I was thinking of going by my middle name, which is boring, but at least it's a normal name. I recently sent out CV's for jobs in both names and got more positive responses with my middle name. I'm also tired of people continually asking if my name is my actual name, it wears me down mentally. Although I don't really like my middle name, should I just go by this as I'm getting very uncomfortable with my birth name? I also don't want to just make up a new first name either as that's too much for me and I'm 30 years of age. Thanks.

Go by your middle name. My paternal family all did that - their first name was their Sunday name, with their middle name used at all other times.

Go by your middle if you want to but I think your first name is beautiful.

Defo go with your middle name. Isn’t that one of he reasons we have them - to use if your first name is not one you like/would choose.

If you're going to change your name why not choose one you like?!

If you don't like your middle name then how about a family name. Life's too short to live with a name you don't like.

Do whatever makes you happy. If you want to use your middle name go for it, I know a few people who do.

By all means use your middle name for work, plenty of people do. You've already demonstrated that CVs with that name are being looked on more favourably. Remember though that you'll have to give your full name to employers wanting to to do id checks or wanting your bank details to pay your salary.

Remember too that an awful lot of people don't like their names. You're not alone. So the fact you don't like your middle name either isn't a problem.

I don't get it. Is it because people think you're female? In which case, how crap for women that you're finding more success with your middle name.

I know a couple of male Sasha's with Russian or.east European heritage. It's a lovely name. Shame to change it. It sounds like the bullying has had lasting impact so that's sad but I think the only answer is to either change your name to something you don't like because it's dull, or stop caring what others think and be proud of your beautiful name. (Easier said than done).

Professionally you can go by your middle name if it helps and just give them a preferred name when you start ?

I also know a male Sasha and never thought it was odd at all.

I think you have a great name I like it but maybe you could use your boring middle name for business.

Go by your middle name for sure.

I also hate my name. It's an unusual name and was chosen by my abusive dad and I'm named after an unsympathetic mean girl in a novel about an incel who gets rejected by the mean girl and then she gets domestically abused. Thanks, dad - not. Also my mum admitted to me that she'd never read it before agreeing the name.

My middle name is named after a placename of a famous disaster that happened around the time I was born. To commemorate it. Like Chernobyl. Lovely.

I now go by an inoffensive shortening of the end of my first name - think Tarantina shortened to Tina. I'm not going by Chernobyl (different place).

So, op, it could be worse. Go by your boring middle name!

I like it but you don’t so change it! I can see that it could it cause some issues for you with people making comments.

Ps I also think Sascha is nice but that's not helpful to you. People say they like mine but I don't care, I hate it

I actually think its a lovely name, sometimes when people like a name they make a big deal about it, could that be what is happening? However it is very important to be happy so you need to do whatever results in that.

Depends on the nationality though. Russian Sashas are two a penny

Sascha is nice and relatively normal / benign. I’m surprised it would evoke any sort of response (positive or negative) in anyone who didn’t know you, other than I half noted the spelling as I would have expecte Sacha or Sasha.

But if you don’t like it, then go by your middle name by all means.

Use whatever name you prefer but don’t do it for other people, do it for you.
It’s a great name (more so for a man imo) but if it’s not you, it’s not you.
You can always change back.

Yes if it would make you happier. I think more people than you'd know actually go by their middle names.

Objectively, I think Sascha is a lovely name for a man. However, I can also completely see why you're not keen on it and are fed up with having to explain it. Honestly, if you prefer your middle name then use that, or just choose a name that you feel really suits you. You don't have put up with a name just because someone chose it for you at birth.

As you're in Ireland, I also wonder whether people hear you say 'Sascha' and think you're saying 'Saoirse', which I think is more commonly a woman's name.

Is there an Irish equivalent for your middle name that you prefer? Or if it's already an Irish name, the anglicised equivalent?
Do what works for you. If it's stressing you that much, make whatever changes you need. Life's too short to live with a name that makes you cringe when you say it.

Life is too short to be miserable when you can do something to make it better. Pick a name you like, change to that.

Yeah go for it. Just be prepared to have an adjustment period where you don't answer. I went by my middle name for a bit as I also hate my first name but I never answered to it 😂

If you think or feel it's affecting your life and state of being I'd change it and I wouldn't rule out changing it to something other than your middle name which you don't sound too enamored with either - is there not another name on your family tree that you like? If you're going to the trouble of changing why not pick something you like the sound of, the look of and one that perhaps has some other favourable resonances.

Do YOU love your first name? That's the question. If yes, then keep going by it. Would you want to work at a place of employment who is choosing job applicants based on names instead of abilities anyway? If you don't love it, then by all means, go by your middle name.

For what it is worth, as others have said, I have know lots of male Sashas and female Sashas as well. I think of it as an ambiguous name as many are, to be used by any gender.

Sascha is a diminutive of Alexander. Would that work for you? Or Sandy/ Zander/ Alex/ Lex?

I'd ditch it yes. Basic names are nearly always the way forward IMO.

I don't dislike the name, but do think it's easily confused with Sasha for a girl and it's obviously tripping people up.