Should I ditch my embarrassing first name?

[Keane900]

Hi, my birth name is Sascha and I am an Irish man living in Ireland. The past few years I've been getting uncomfortable with my name as I feel like my name is effecting parts of my life. I feel a bit hesitant to tell people my name because I get weird looks, and feel like it's hurting me professionally aswell. I also got quite bullied growing up because of my name and I was thinking of going by my middle name, which is boring, but at least it's a normal name. I recently sent out CV's for jobs in both names and got more positive responses with my middle name. I'm also tired of people continually asking if my name is my actual name, it wears me down mentally. Although I don't really like my middle name, should I just go by this as I'm getting very uncomfortable with my birth name? I also don't want to just make up a new first name either as that's too much for me and I'm 30 years of age. Thanks.

My mum was never known by her first name. She has always been called g he er middle babe as she was named after Two Aunts. Why my Gran didn’t switch the names around so her middle name honoured her aunties I don’t know. On official forms etc her ‘real’ name is used.

It's a great name. I don't understand any negative reaction but I don't think we should burden ourselves with things that make us unhappy.

Change your name totally if that's better for you. It's quite a big thing to be called something that's getting you down.

I nearly used Sascha for my son and never thought it was anything but normal next to some of the names used these days! By all means go by a different name if it makes you uncomfortable but it's a shame it's causing you problems.

Choose one you actually like & change it by deep poll. It’s really easy & not expensive to do.
That way you can have official documents changed - passport, DL, banking etc…

Have they never heard of Sacha Distell. He was a bit of a heartthrob back in the day.

I work in a senior public sector role. A person I work with is a man who had the same first name as you. Really successful. Name doesn’t seem to have hindered his career. I don’t think names are as big an issue as they once were. I have a cliched 80s name. Think Mercedes / Chardonnay. It’s no issue professionally (honestly). It wouldn’t even occur to me to judge someone by their name.

But ….. if something is making you feel self conscious. Then that will affect your attitude to opportunities and impact upon your car r and performance. So ….: if that’s the case and it’s something you can change …. Then change it ……

If they’re under 60 they probably haven’t heard of him. And why would it compare to 2023.

It's not unusual for someone who's known by their middle name to sign eg

S. Patrick Keane

Try that.

There's a feminish aspect to it but guess depends on how you wear it, some men can be so sure/confident of themselves it just enhances their identity. Change it if you want to.

A few years ago I worked with a guy from Africa
There's a lot of unusual names I've seen on Africa.
He wasn't fazed, it seems, during all the time he worked with us; his name was Cindy. There was always a lot of banter going around, I did once suggest he change his name to ZIGGY but he did not see my point.

Why not? I did (& no I will not say what it was).

Op, it's a great name.

But if you're not happy then change.

There's a lot of people still getting used to 'foreign' names in Ireland. And Sacsha could still be considered in some quarters as an exclusively girls name. But f*ck them like. Hicks. There are all manner of names here now like. I've definitely heard of guys with that name and wouldn't bat an eyelid. But use Patrick if you really want to.

There was a chap on the radio today for example called Shepherd. I registered it was not a Sean or a Michael, and then i forgot it.

I'm so sorry you had this experience. I also think it's a lovely name. I imagine if you had grown up in a big, multicultural city it wouldn't of been so much of an issue. It makes me feel grateful that I am happy with my basic/ very popular in year of 1992 girls name!

You've mentioned your middle name is Patrick but don't like Pat. How would you feel about being called Paddy? I was a nanny for a Patrick in Australia who was always referred to as Paddy and he seemed happy / had no issues with it.

For what it's worth I know a Christopher and a Matthew who never abbreviate their names. If someone calls them Matt or Chris they say I'm not a Matt, I'm a Chris. It takes balls the first time perhaps but I've always admired their confidence.

You should do what makes you feel comfortable and more confident. I love your name, but that's irrelevant if you don't. If you don't like your middle name either then as others have said, maybe choose something else. You can call yourself/be known by whatever you want, but unless you change your name by deed poll will still have to use your given name for anything legal.