Should I ditch my embarrassing first name?

[Keane900]

Hi, my birth name is Sascha and I am an Irish man living in Ireland. The past few years I've been getting uncomfortable with my name as I feel like my name is effecting parts of my life. I feel a bit hesitant to tell people my name because I get weird looks, and feel like it's hurting me professionally aswell. I also got quite bullied growing up because of my name and I was thinking of going by my middle name, which is boring, but at least it's a normal name. I recently sent out CV's for jobs in both names and got more positive responses with my middle name. I'm also tired of people continually asking if my name is my actual name, it wears me down mentally. Although I don't really like my middle name, should I just go by this as I'm getting very uncomfortable with my birth name? I also don't want to just make up a new first name either as that's too much for me and I'm 30 years of age. Thanks.

Love Sasha for a man but honestly of course pick whatever name you prefer and let people know that is what you will be known as going forward and that's that. Sorry it's been such a struggle x

Just change it. No one will blink twice. As you’re changing jobs it’s a perfect time

It's a lovely name but if you don't like it or if you think it's causing more bother than it's worth, change it. Not necessarily to your middle name, you can go buy any name you like as long as you aren't changing it to try to defraud anyone. Of the dozen or so people in my immediate office, I can think of four that I know don't go by their first name, and at least one of those the name they go by is not a "legal" name of their at all (not on birth certificate, no deed poll etc) No-one thinks anything of it. I'm fact, come to think of it, one of my siblings goes by a totally different name. They've done it for so long I'd nearly forgotten that it's technically not their name at all! 😄

Good lord I want to know what your name is!

Yes, I've never encountered an Irish male Sascha in my life so it is kind of hard when you are the only person with this name, and where I'm living almost all Saschas are female

Go by your middle name

However I only know male Sashas, nicknames for Alexander in eastern Europe

The positive replies were responses in interviews, that's what I meant. In interviews I'd get weird looks if I went by Sascha instead of my middle name

Why don't you use your first name and your middle name as in on your cv if your middle name is a male name like William for example. Call yourself Sascha William and then when you meet them say just call me Sascha.

I've known a few make sachas, it's a lovely name, own it.

Deed poll in Ireland is a very easy process. Maybe you could pick your own name and get it changed, especially since you don't like your middle name either.

Sascha is a male name to me, lovely name.

I think your first name is lovely but life is too short to be miserable about something that can be remedied quite easily. Do whatever makes you happy.

I really like the name Sascha, what a shame it upsets you so much. I'd go by a middle name if it made me that uncomfortable, even if it's just for job interviews.

That's because Sasha in Russian is an abbreviation of Alexander / Alexandria or any such similar 'alex' name. So it's really common.

I've never heard the Irish name Sascha and it's beautiful but I guess it sounds feminine and that could cause confusion.

OP go by your middle name or pick a new name that you really like is my suggestion. Will it offend your family if you take a new name?

your life your choice. If you don't like your name ditch it

I know a few men called Sascha/Sasha I think it's a great name.

What do you think the issue is (I couldn't think of any). If you are more happy with using the middle name, just do it then. But I wonder if your perception is wrong.

I’d just go by your middle name. We found out at my cousins wedding that he was actually called a totally different name that was his third middle name, none of us other cousins knew and we all grew up together so it was a massive shock! Turns out the first name is traditionally what the first male in his dads family is called so he got given it per custom but his parents didn’t actually like it…and that made us realise his dad also didn’t use his first name!

So do it, nobody will know the difference…

I’ve known a few Sashas/Saschas, two of them Irish men. It’s a lovely name @Keane900 and one I think of as suitable for men or women equally. It also makes me think fondly of Sasha dolls from the 1970s who were male and female which I guess is why they were given a name understood by most people to be a male or female name.

It's a lovely name and not effeminate.

Simikar sounding Sacha was the artist name of Sacha Distel one of the most handsome men ever and he was heterosexual.

I love the name Sascha and know one who’s never had any problem. But we live in London and anything goes here.

Depending where you are in Ireland it can be very insular. It’s possible people might assume you have Russian blood from your CV.

You don’t sound like very confident person - confident people don’t worry about unusual names. If it’s stressing you then change it.

If your middle name is Sean, Liam, Aidan etc - you may feel more secure.

My dh knew a male Kerry. I was initially surprised but I actually think it's a nice male name. Sascha is a lovely name and I think most people wouldn't be surprised to find a man with that name.

Haha I think I've probably "outed" my middle name in hindsight but no way could you guess my first unless you'd read this dreadful novel lol.

But the shortened version is just an inoffensive two syllables so I'm very happy to go by that. Started when I went to uni and so basically everyone who's known me as an adult uses it including my dh.

Op, if you're anything like me, your heart will lift when people start referring to you by your preferred name. Don't hesitate, go for it and don't look back

Sorry that’s happening to you. I wouldn’t blink at the name, I’ve always thought it was a unisex Russian name. People are ignorant twats.

I like the name but if disliked Lex or middle name would be good

If you don’t like it then change it, you do t have to do it permanently you can just say “I go by x”.

I can see why you wouldn’t like Sascha, the spelling is awkward, you probably get mistaken for being female and /or Eastern European. If you’ve had better results job hunting with your middle name then go for that.

Someone I worked with changed her name and it took a very short amount of time to get used to it, it wasn’t a problem.