I’m not lazy or taking the “easy way out” for having a c section!

[Younghearts]

I’m sure she didn’t mean too, but friend upset me earlier by her throw away comment. I had a c section 8 months ago, a couple of days into my induction because babies heart rate sky rocketed and I got extremely anxious and asked for an elective. It was a hard recovery but I do not regret it and loved my experience. I could have maybe continued with the vaginal route - but the nurses were constantly putting me on drips and monitors and I’d had enough and no sleep.

Anyway, having a light hearted convo with a friend and told her I’d probably have an elective c section if I was to have another DC and she said “Oh no you’re missing out, don’t take the easy way out and be lazy! It’s amazing pushing”

I said “I don’t feel like I’m missing out I had a great c section experience” and left it as that.

It’s been a couple of days and the comment is sitting there in my mind. Shall I say something or let it go?

I don't like this comment.

I don't like this comment either.

Recovery with a section is surely harder than a straightforward vaginal birth but you don’t know you’re going to get one of them, do you? Not sure I want to roll the dice.

Not always the case. It's hardly a competition though.

I’m so tired of people saying c sections are the ‘easy way’. I had gestational diabetes and as a result was induced. After days of labor and not progressing they put me on the drip and it became very dangerous from there - we both were becoming septic and they had to do an emergency C-section. I had an awful experience, it was terrifying. I was shaking so much that I physically couldn’t hold my baby after he was born. I was so unwell, the scar became infected after birth. I physically couldn’t get out of bed to get my child because of the surgery. I was severely unwell for months with the infection coming and going. I still have the dreaded ‘pouch’. I’m less than 100 pounds and my pouch is probably about 10/15 pounds of me. Where they clamped my bladder, I have intense pain and pressure from that still years later and struggle to pee.

I know birth experiences are AWFUL for everyone, regardless what birth they have. But csections come with so many more dangerous complications and is so much more high risk compared to vaginal births - and especially emergency caesarean sections.

I’ve done both and neither version is easy.

For one pregnancy my choices were (a) c-section or (b) die. A female relative disapprovingly told me I had taken the easy option 🙄

Yup. There's nothing to miss out on unless you think being incredibly vulnerable whilst being in unbearable pain for hours is desirable.

My vaginal was absolutely horrendous and due to severe tearing my genitalia is now a permanent state.

Had a maternal request section for my 2nd and it was significantly better in every way. My biggest regret is not insisting on a maternal request for my first too and never bothering with a vaginal birth.

True, but vaginal birth does end up like that for a lot of women and it is skipped over and ignored in most birthing classes. Don't think the risk was every mentioned to me beforehand by anyone.

Tell her to wind her neck in.

The choice is yours to make for whatever reason.

Personally, I much preferred having a neat, quick csection rather than pushing them out of my chuff. Horses for courses.

What don’t you like? This poster wasn’t making anything a competition. It’s a fact that a c section recovery will be harder than a ‘straightforward’ v birth. Of course it will, it requires major abdominal surgery.

There’s nothing wrong with saying you’d prefer a c section because you can’t guarantee a straightforward vaginal birth, fgs!

I had a vaginal birth with my first. Both my baby and I almost died and it was the most horrendous experience of my life. I ended up with PTSD and a baby with a traumatic birth injury which took almost a year to fix.

My second was an 'elective' (you know, to avoid dying) c section and it was perfect, no stress, fantastic bonding with my baby. Was there a bit of pain - obvs. But I'd take that any day over the first experience.

In your shoes, I don't think I could speak to that friend again. Thoughtless, stupid bitch.

I laboured for 70 odd hours, mostly without any pain relief, pushed for 2 more and then had a 6 foot something bloke try to yank dc1 out with giant salad tongs whilst telling dh he admired my stretchy vagina.

Then I had an emergency c-section. More than one person told me I'd taken the easy way out... even though I passed out on the table and dc1 ended up in Nicu. Personally I preferred the take of the lovely midwife I saw when I got home..."Oh sweetheart, you basically gave birth twice". If that was easy, I'd hate to see hard.

I was lucky that in I basically bounced back physically.

Dc2 was also an emcs and the biggest stupid comment I got was from the community midwife who walked in commiserating me for my horrible experience. Only my second emcs was absolutely amazing, where I was supported by a theatre full of brilliant women, got to watch my daughter emerging like a butterfly and had loads of skin to skin. She just assumed emcs equalled bad which for a midwife seemed at best lazy. I think it speaks to attitudes though.

My birth experiences weren’t awful. I had two elective c sections and I found them interesting and enjoyable. As they were elective I didn’t have any labour pains and the births were as stress free as anyone could hope for. I had no desire at all to have the traditional method for either of them. I’ve known so many people having a natural birth only to end up have emergency Cs and the entire experience of long labours and birth complications was traumatic. How much easier it would have been to just go straight to the c section.