Coaching - not a single thank you

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I have been coaching for about 5 years now but this year I took on a role as head coach to an U16 girls football group. The season was 18 weeks long, we had about 40 training sessions, 9 matches. We got to a final at the weekend which unfortunately we lost but was still a great achievement
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I did 16 hours coaching training to upskill my coaching qualification. I spent many hours planning training, organizing matches, recruiting new players. We got 7 new players this season, no other team in the club has done this.

Our season is over now and I put up a message on the team chat (for parents) to say well done to the all girls, it was great to coach them etc and not a single response did I get. Not a single thank you for your time.

I gave up 2/3 evenings a week, rushing home from work, no dinner and straight to the pitch. I put in a huge effort to ensure the girls were trained well, were fit, skills improved, confidence build as individuals and as a team.

I understand that people who havent coached before dont understand the level of time commitment it takes but they do see the training and matches.

WTF is wrong is people. I dont coach for thanks as I know you dont get it but seriously AIBU in thinking it is just plain rude and entitled.

Thanks for the messages! Yes everyone knows we are volunteers, no doubt about that. Some of the girls say thank you. I always make sure my children thank their coaches after every training, its basic manners.

I do it for the girls, I think sport is so important particularly at their age. I made sure I spoke to all the girls individually at some point to give positive feedback, to thank them for coming to training and putting in effort and to try to encourage positivity and pride in what they are doing.
We got three players on loan from another club as they didnt have a team for their age and all three have asked to transfer permanently because they had such a good experience. I got a new player and I encouraged 3 girls who had left the sport to come back to play. That's why I do it but jeez a "thanks for your work" would be nice.

This OP!

Well, at least the girls say thank you. If I had known my kids had said thank you for something I wouldn't necessarily do so myself in a text but would if I saw them in person.

It's just very bad manners. I volunteer for various charities. It is those with least who are grateful and say thanks for your time.
Those with a lot assume it's their right and don't say thanks.
In the end I realised I do it for them and myself.
What goes around comes around...

Who would anyone think is paying for professional U16 girls' football coaches?

When people aren't paying subs that would cover the cost of paying a coach, I've never understood why they don't realise the coach is a volunteer.

As it is, canoe/kayak clubs ask for enough session money to cover insurance, hire of kit/equipment and maintenance and there are non-stop complaints. There's no attempt to cover the individual insurance costs that coaches need to pay, nor our constant re-certification of qualifications in the sport, different levels within it, leading a group and doing risk assessments, First Aid, a mass of safety training etc. Volunteers don't get petrol money to cover driving to waterways where we can teach etc.

Yes, I'm a volunteer coach who has decided not to renew my qualifications (I don't need them for anything else and it's expensive) so is soon to give coaching. I can't afford to subsidise would-be learners any longer. It's a shame because we also coach a lot of Scout leaders and similar so that they can support water safety and sports.

As a football coach and scout leader there no thank yous or gifts. I don't need gifts or th thank yous but I'm lways baffled by the teacher gift threads where parents wants to give paid employees presents but not the volunteer coaches/leaders at their kids hobby that actually pay to be there with their kids.

I'm OK without the thanks cause it is my hobby aswell. Getting rid of the rudeness would be a nice thank you.

In all my years of varied volunteering I’ve rarely had a thank you from parents. Think a lot view it as you’re getting something out of this too so no need for my thanks. Some see it as being paid for and expensive, not realising how much it costs you financially quite often never mind your time asIde from the evenings you turn up ahead of them and are still there long after too. Not ask if or a whip round just a thanks now and again.

Well, we paid for dance, swimming and gymnastics teachers which are also sports and were paid roles- usually £100-£200 a term. I didn't know some sports coaching was so much cheaper and done by volunteers until DD2 did athletics for a while.

I used to buy brownie and guide leaders gifts for Christmas and end of term as a thank you and what shocked me most was I was the only parent doing this. They were hugely thankful but i thought that gifts and thank you cards were normal and felt sad it wasn’t. I did carry on until dd left.

I used to help with a Brownie unit over 20 years ago. No DCs in the unit, just enjoyed volunteering.

We got to the stage of not letting the girls off the coach until all the equipment had been unloaded and stored after residentials/camps because otherwise the parents would just grab their child a shoot off. No thank yous, just leaving 4 exhausted adults who had cared for their kids for the whole time to then have to do the unpacking and storing.

And don't get me started on the one or two who would arrive up to an hour (!!) late to collect because they had been watching brother paly football/just forgot!! and then waltz off without an apology or a thank you. It's not a new thing!

One place I volunteered: At preliminary briefing, Safety etc The Coach would introduce us and emphasise that we were volunteers.
There were always a few surprised faces.

I'm afraid I didn't buy Brownie or Guide leaders things either, just never occurred to me and there were already so many to buy for at that age. I certainly wouldn't want a lot of crap bought for me at Christmas if I did it, and I don't agree with the general level of random tat buying that goes on in this country as it's wasteful, but people being generally appreciated should be the norm.

That's shocking. My daughter does show jumping 🐎for a club and the club coach is treated as a semi-God by the parents and kids. It's totally unacceptable not to thank the coach!

Thank you for doing that! We really appreciate parents like you - especially at the end of a normally very long and tiring indoor autumn term!!

I’ve been a school governor for 4 years and the only people who have ever said thank you or even acknowledged it are other governors. I always make a point of thanking other volunteers for the PTA or cubs etc. as well as anyone who works with or helps our children as it’s all so important.

The children pay E50 for the year in our club!! I have often purchased sports equipment because the club doesn't have the funds for it.
I have suggested we increase the subs because we are constantly struggling for money. We didnt want families not sending their children to play sport because of the cost but it has to be done.

I think if a service is free people don't see any need for a thankyou. Free = worthless. If you pay money for a service you know it's worth something else you wouldn't pay, therefore it's natural to thank the person providing it. If someone does it for free it makes people thing the provider knows it's not worth anything.

TLDR, people are selfish cunts.

Welcome to the world of volunteering. I spent years volunteering for a girls' sports group. It involved hours of organising, communicating, keeping all the records, arranging competitions, DBS checks, training, you name it.

There were a tiny number of parents who were grateful, offered to help, co-operated with the rules and regulations (not mine, the sporting body's). The rest were rude, ungrateful, entitled and complained about everything. The coaches all gave their time for free, the parents were only asked to pay the cost of venue hire. Many of them complained about that too.
It really can be a thankless task.

Well, OP to be fair, if that's the parents attitude, I wouldn't coach again, and when they ask why, tell them the truth!

Gifts not really necessary... but we do like a card written by the kids. We get one or two a year.

It doesnt have to be tat though. A thank you card or christmas card for the leaders is hugely appreciated. We personally always liked it when parents brought in a bottle of wine or small box of chocolates or something, as we usually shared them as a leadership team at our next planning meeting for example. The nicest things we ever got were homemade christmas cards from the girls themselves.

This is why I'm no longer a scout section leader. Parents used us as virtually free childcare, and were quick to moan about any tiny little issue ("Why can't little Jonny be in the same lodge as little Timmy - they're best mates at school" "Because they keep walloping one another and disrupting everyone else, that's why!"), they expect leaders to give up their precious weekends to provide overnight trips where we'd get no sleep, and all for zero thanks!

A few years after I left, one of the parents decided to sue the organisation for discrimination because she felt her son wasn't given enough opportunities.

Never again.

My kids do a few clubs led by unpaid volunteers. I remind them every week to say thanks as they are leaving. Not make a big deal but just basic manners. To be fair I ask them to do the same to paid coaches too. We are very grateful to all coaches who give up there time.

I have never bought an end of season gift like we do for teachers as noone else seems to but i think I probably should really

The parents of the football team my son plays for do a collection at the end of the season and Xmas to thank the coaches and management. Just a bottle of wine and maybe a voucher for the manager as well.
I thought this was pretty standard.