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Original poster

To think my friend will lose her job

159 replies

MollyMindy · 31/10/2023 18:53

Posting for advice as a close friend of mine is in a bind

She started a new job 2 months ago, a promotion, all good.

4 weeks ago her husband walked out, no kids, but she is devastated. Can't function at work, been doing the bare minimum, and what she is doing I gather is pretty poor quality.

Performance is now being monitored, informally for last few weeks, more support given etc. She thinks it is going to get more formal soon, so has got herself signed off for a month with stress.

She is under the impression that although she is on probation she now can't be touched, I think she is wrong but not sure what advice if any to give her.

OP posts:
TeenLifeMum · 31/10/2023 18:55

My advice is to communicate openly with the employer so they understand it’s temporary and she just needs a little support right now however she is fully committed to the role and wants to get back as soon as she’s well enough.

NutellaEllaElla · 31/10/2023 18:57

She's fooling herself? Sounds like she is failing probation.

DarkDarkNight · 31/10/2023 18:57

Poor thing, no wonder she is finding things hard. Is it a promotion within the same company? I would have thought a probation period wouldn’t count as she is already a permanent employee.

Stardustkid · 31/10/2023 18:58

She needs to be communicating with them, getting signed off won’t protect her from disciplinary but if she needs help or support she needs to ask.

Original poster
MollyMindy · 31/10/2023 18:58

She has also taken a few odd days off here and there for a cold and toothache.

I don't know what the sick pay provision is however

OP posts:
Original poster
MollyMindy · 31/10/2023 18:59

DarkDarkNight · 31/10/2023 18:57

Poor thing, no wonder she is finding things hard. Is it a promotion within the same company? I would have thought a probation period wouldn’t count as she is already a permanent employee.

New company..

OP posts:
CantFindTheBeat · 31/10/2023 19:01

Sounds like her mental health has taken a real tumble, OP.

Poor poor woman. I'm not surprised she is unable to cope if it came as a shock.

If her mental health situation is that bad, being signed off sick is probably needed.

If she can't work, she can't work. Forcing her to go in and fail isn't any good. Support her to keep in touch with her employer?

RubyBoozeDay · 31/10/2023 19:03

She needs to tell her employer the stress she is under so they are aware of the reason for her poor performance. Otherwise going off sick is just going to delay the inevitable dismissal.

Wishthiswasntmypost · 31/10/2023 19:04

'A few days here and there' (sick) within 2 months probation....already she's marked her card I'm afraid.

Her best chance or surviving is to face up to the fact that employers pay you to be at work and be functioning. Go to the boss and own the issues and promise to improve. See if they'll extend the probation?

Original poster
MollyMindy · 31/10/2023 19:05

I think the issue is that she has been told by someone online that if its stress related illness her employer can't fail her probation, not sure that is the case.
She is unlikely to go back in 4 weeks and is likely to be signed off again.

OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 31/10/2023 19:06

Has she spoken to her manager or to HR about the reason behind her poor performance, or just kept quiet and gone off sick? The latter won’t protect her from anything - it’s legal for an employer to terminate employment if the employee can’t perform the role any more, even if due to sickness, providing they’ve worked to offer support, reasonable adjustments, and opportunity to improve, which it seems they have been doing. Employed just two months and already off sick several times for various reasons and now signed off for a month doesn’t bode well for her.

She needs to communicate with them about her circumstances and engage with the performance process. As her friend, you could offer to support her with any help she needs doing that, including putting things in writing if she doesn’t feel able to do it in person.

MaggieBsBoat · 31/10/2023 19:11

She desperately needs to speak to HR and be open with them.
Her position there is tenuous to say the least during probation and it looks bad for her - if they keep her on (unlikely without them understanding the situation) they will not consider her an honest person.
It does not help her at all to not talk. We have just decided to sack someone currently on probation but on sick leave with stress for a month. She will just walk into a bad situation if she is not honest with them.

CyberCritical · 31/10/2023 19:17

No being signed off for stress wont save her. She was already under review, stress unless part of a broader diagnosis isn't a disability, all she's doing is compounding her employers view that she may not be capable of fulfilling her role.

Original poster
MollyMindy · 31/10/2023 19:17

MaggieBsBoat · 31/10/2023 19:11

She desperately needs to speak to HR and be open with them.
Her position there is tenuous to say the least during probation and it looks bad for her - if they keep her on (unlikely without them understanding the situation) they will not consider her an honest person.
It does not help her at all to not talk. We have just decided to sack someone currently on probation but on sick leave with stress for a month. She will just walk into a bad situation if she is not honest with them.

Can I ask if the person you are going to terminate has also had performance issues, and will you do it when they are back from sick leave?

OP posts:
Firebug007 · 31/10/2023 19:20

If she has over 4 weeks off in probation she'd probably lose her job.

Firebug007 · 31/10/2023 19:21

MollyMindy · 31/10/2023 19:05

I think the issue is that she has been told by someone online that if its stress related illness her employer can't fail her probation, not sure that is the case.
She is unlikely to go back in 4 weeks and is likely to be signed off again.

This is not true at all!

Lucyintheskywithadiamond · 31/10/2023 19:25

2 occasions plus a third for stress and poor performance, she does not have a leg to stand on I am afraid. I work in HR and I would be advising to terminate. She is being misled if someone is telling she is protected. Even if she she had a protected characteristic, it is capability related and can be terminated.

MoltenLasagne · 31/10/2023 19:29

Even if the employer were being extremely cautious around the sick leave, they'd be well within their rights to extend the probation and then fire her. She can't just wait out the probation period on sick leave!

Theredfoxfliesatmidnight · 31/10/2023 19:29

I feel sorry for her but why would she think she can work 4 weeks in a job then get paid indefinitely for doing nothing? Of course she'll be terminated.

SpuddyMary · 31/10/2023 19:29

If she's been at the company for less than 2 years they can let her go for any reason at any time.

If she's still in her probation period then I'd be pretty sure she'll be let go.

Lovemychair · 31/10/2023 19:31

My dd was in her probationary period when she caught glandular fever, she sent in a doctors note but was still terminated.
The best your friend can do is to speak to HR, explain the situation and hope they take pity on her.

Katrinawaves · 31/10/2023 19:33

Her best chance is to speak to her line manager and Hr and explain the situation and ask what support if any they can give during this short term period.

I had a new starter in my team who started just as her marriage broke down leaving her with 2 kids, one with SEN. She was open about what she was going through, I was able to be flexible as much as I could and she ended up being an excellent employee who went from strength to strength once she had weathered the first tough few months post separation

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 31/10/2023 19:41

MollyMindy · 31/10/2023 19:05

I think the issue is that she has been told by someone online that if its stress related illness her employer can't fail her probation, not sure that is the case.
She is unlikely to go back in 4 weeks and is likely to be signed off again.

The way I've seen it work is they will extend probation to cover the sick and then likely let her go at the end of the new period.

Canonlythinkofthisone · 31/10/2023 19:47

She's partly right.
It's highly unlikely that she'll be let go whilst she's signed off.

But

As PP have said, all that will happen is that it will delay the inevitable. She needs to reach out to her line manager/HR/EAP and be open and honest.

It may still result in a failed probation period but she'll have more chance of some leniency if she is honest. Most workplaces these days have people trained in mental health and almost all can refer to occupational health services. Rather than burying her head in the sand, she needs to speak up pronto.

Els1e · 31/10/2023 19:48

I’m not an HR expert but I think they can extend the probation period if the company feels they have not been able to make a fair and reasonable assessment of her ability to do her job. I feel for her as worrying about a job is the last thing she needs but losing it would be awful. What about contacting ACAS for advice?