To think my friend will lose her job

[MollyMindy]

Posting for advice as a close friend of mine is in a bind

She started a new job 2 months ago, a promotion, all good.

4 weeks ago her husband walked out, no kids, but she is devastated. Can't function at work, been doing the bare minimum, and what she is doing I gather is pretty poor quality.

Performance is now being monitored, informally for last few weeks, more support given etc. She thinks it is going to get more formal soon, so has got herself signed off for a month with stress.

She is under the impression that although she is on probation she now can't be touched, I think she is wrong but not sure what advice if any to give her.

They don't need any reason to get rid of you on probation. Going off sick I'd enough.

If this were true surely everyone would go on sick leave during their probation period.

If I were managing her and this is a once in a life time event (or close to it) and she told me at the outset, I would:

• partially judge her performance for the one month beforehand while acknowledging that that wasn't an ideal either as I'm sure the separation didn't cone out of the blue
• Extend her probation but would really need to see an improvement in both attendance and performance (I would have hired her for a reason & with the belief she was fit for the role)
• Recommend use if EAP and expect her to avail of it
• She also needs to roll the toothache absences into the separation in her explanation too, otherwise thrh are considered seperate ad a dign of things to come

If there was a really improvement, I would probably keep her but it would need to be near flawless once she returned to work

Yeah you really don't want to be going off sick during probation, and getting signed off is crazy. She needs to face things head on, go back, fess up and work her arse off to pass probation.

I'm sorry OP but she's not going to get through the probation if she doesn't engage. It's highly unlikely she will now anyway being signed off for a month. They will just extend the probation and then let her go.

Unlikely they will even bother waiting as long as the end of her probation.

She needs to communicate with them if she wants any chance of keeping this job.

Biggest question for me is... Does she work for a supportive organisation?

In my workplace, if the same situation happened to a newbie, if they were upfront then we'd do everything we could to support them. Life happens and sometimes people need more support. I had an internal promotion and everything went a bit wrong in my personal life and they supported me all the way through and gave me the opportunity to prove myself once I was in a better headspace. If I'd not been upfront and just gone off with stress it would have been very different, and that's as an internal.

She needs to be as open as possible with her employer. Being off sick with stress, even work related, isn't a get out of jail free card. I've heard so many versions of "I'm off sick/under occupational they can't touch me". It's never worked. Even those with disabilities need to be able to do their job (with reasonable adjustments).

Being signed off with stress is unlikely to meet the definition of a disability as defined by the EqA 2010. Even if it did, they are only required to make 'reasonable' adjustments - not allow indefinite sick leave. The advice she has received online is inaccurate - I'm an official working in a trade union, btw, this stuff is my bread and butter.

To have any chance of keeping her job, she would be advised to come clean with her employer. They are not obliged to keep her on but they might have some sympathy.

Thanks for all the replies, at the moment she is planning to get signed off again as she is worried that if she goes back in a few weeks she will face performance issues, but I don't know what happens if she gets another 4 week Dr note.
I don't think she is thinking too clearly, she does need the job, but hasn't engaged at all, just emailed them her Dr note.

Well I guess she'll find out won't she. There's not much you can do.

It sounds like she's going through a really shit time. Do what you can to encourage her to engage but don't beat yourself up if she can't or won't.

For disabilities they would have to demonstrate reasonable adjustments. If there are no reasonable adjustments they can still terminate your contract at the end of during your probation period
Things that typically are covered, although not exclusively, impact you for 12months or long without break

Depending on how they count sick leave it might be better to have a continuous 6 weeks sickness for example rather than a 4 week sickness back at work for 2 weeks then another 2 weeks sickness as that's 2 periods of sickness

Off at a tangent, but I'm wondering what's going to happen to her, sitting alone in the home she used to share with her partner, staring at the walls and worrying that the new job is gone as well as him. Is she getting any support apart from not working, OP?

Not sure about specific support but she is going out most nights to the local to meet friends , so does have some interaction every day

If it’s a new employer, she can’t claim unfair dismissal until she has two years’ service, probationary period or no probationary period. She can be dismissed at any time by giving her notice, so not sure why she thinks she’s bulletproof.

At the risk of sounding harsh, surely if she wants/needs this job then she has to step up and make an effort. In my many decades of working I have known numerous people who have suffered marriage breakdowns, including myself, and other than a day or two off work everyone has just carried on working as before. For someone in a new job she isn't making a good impresssion, and while her employers may be supportive this can't continue indefinitely.

I'm not sure there is anything you can do OP.

Sorry OP, but if she is going out to the pub most nights it sounds like she is behaving irresponsibly. Under 2 years of employment you can be let go really easily, so if she wants to keep this job she needs to start acting more responsibly and tell her employers what is going on.

Let's hope that she doesn't post photos of these nights on SM out or that she isn't seen by colleagues. Perhaps it's just the people I've known who've had time extended time off sick, but they were very careful about where they went and what they did — conscious of the fact that it can be read as taking the piss.

Does she have a history of MH issues? As @Atethehalloweenchocs notes, I've worked in large organisations before now and marriage break-ups, relationship bust-ups and worse happened fairly regularly. I've worked with people who were back at work only a few days after their partner or a parent died. I'm afraid that if I was her employer I'd be looking to terminate the relationship.

Losing her job is only going to make her feel worse. She needs to dig deep within herself and muster the strength to crack on doing the job properly.

Sitting at home weeping because she's lost her husband and her job is far worse than steeling herself and concentrating her all on her work performance.

OP, she's planning to get signed off just to avoid performance issues, and she already thinks she's entitled to a month off because her boyfriend leaves her? It sounds like total self-indulgence. What would the office look like if everyone took a couple of months out every time a relationship ends? If I were her manager every red light would be flashing. If she wants to have a hope of keeping her job she should go back immediately (work can be a welcome distraction from thinking about one's sadness) - and prove she's an asset to them.

^^ Sounds like she had absence issues before this.

She has to get the mindset that her job might be her saving grace. I found when I went through a breakup, working helped me distract from the situation. Far better if she finds the strength to crack on at work. Worst case scenario would be for her to have lost both her dh and her job surely? Especially if that then impacts her ability to keep a roof over her head because she has no incoming wage to support herself.

ACAS might give advice she would listen to. You could suggest that throwing herself into the job might help distract her from her problems. However, she doesn't sound very committed - taking time off in a new job for minor ailments and "getting herself signed off" to avoid having her performance challenged. The only guaranteed way to keep this job is by turning up and showing she is capable and being honest about any issues she has

I've been in the workforce 30+ years so seen a lot of marriages come and go, including my own. Some have involved kids, police and a lot more complexity than what your friend is facing.

Don't think I have ever known anyone to take a full month off (with the possibility of longer!) straight off the bat like that. Normally it's a few days to pull yourself together, the odd teary personal phone call and some planned days /half days off to get moving and the other practicalities taken care of.

TBH regardless of whether your friend is a poorly advised chancer or just has very low coping skills I wouldn't want to keep them on after this.

Whilst you can technically get rid of someone for any reason whilst on probation,it's not so clearcut if they make a case for discrimination .