To think my friend will lose her job

[MollyMindy]

Posting for advice as a close friend of mine is in a bind

She started a new job 2 months ago, a promotion, all good.

4 weeks ago her husband walked out, no kids, but she is devastated. Can't function at work, been doing the bare minimum, and what she is doing I gather is pretty poor quality.

Performance is now being monitored, informally for last few weeks, more support given etc. She thinks it is going to get more formal soon, so has got herself signed off for a month with stress.

She is under the impression that although she is on probation she now can't be touched, I think she is wrong but not sure what advice if any to give her.

Yes, but how do her current employers know this?

I do think and have said before she owes her boss/HR an explanation as to why she’s taking time off sick.

In most companies (smaller ones) where I’ve worked, if you are sick and take leave for it you have to give a reason. Or doctors note if it’s more long term. My boss/HR would be concerned at a humane level if it were stress due to a family situation but how can they support you if you don’t let then know at least the bare facts about it? They might even be able to sign post for therapy at work or outside work if that’s what OP’s friend would like the option of accessing.

But even if she is suffering from stress, she should still be doing her very best to continue to fulfill her obligations to her employer and at a minimum keep them fully informed of what's happening, when they can expect her back etc. Life is inherently stressful and difficult, marriages end, people die, bad things happen. But life also goes on, that is the cold hard truth. I cannot imagine the OPs friends current approach is doing her much good mentally in any case and will be positively disastrous if she loses her job on top of her marriage.

Yes I agree with this. She’s burying her head in the sand and if she goes on like this she won’t have a job in the end.

Sounds work-shy if she's planning on taking sick leave weeks away when she doesn't know how she'll be feeling.
If the shoe fits....

I think the concern is less that she is work shy and more that her current actions - disengaging with work and so on make her appear works shy and what the consequences could be should her employer take that view.

Things like already planning her next sick leave when one through 1 of her current 4 week sick leave is a bit of a flag and could be cause for concern to her employer. I have had two 3 month periods of sick leave due to severe depression and I think both times I couldn't imagine still being unwell at the end of the sick note when at the start. Then there was the dread as I was approaching the last week and having to get something else sorted

I have had two extended periods of sick leave in my life - one, about 5 months, recovering from a significant set of surgeries; and the other, about 8 months with serious depression. The second time, I had a truly toxic boss, who wanted to put me on a performance plan from the day I returned, despite me having an excellent record with the organisation, for about 8 years.
Eventually, I just left, because the toxic boss had it in for me, for 1.5 years after I returned; like a punishment for having been unwell. She was vile.
I hope that your friend does rethink things, as if she's got a boss like I used to, then she's probably already getting the P45 drawn up. A good boss will be thinking of ways to help, and get you back to work - which it sounds like they've made the approach. I think she's foolish not to engage, even to say, 'I'm sorry; I'm just not well enough.'

If she's only worked there and had sick days off before now and now is going off on the sick they may think she's taking the pee, she needs to be honest with them, as harsh as it sounds she may end up losing the job, hope things pick up for her, not a nice position to be in.

To be quite honest @MollyMindy . You're being a really good friend, and I get that. But you've been trying to give her good advice, and actually asking others that may know more than you about this type of situation, no-one can fault you for that. But at the end of the day, the information that she's been given from the previous forum/people that she'd already asked has shaped her thinking. Now she won't be budged in that. I really don't think you can do much more, but maybe tell her to take some advice from a real website, ie; dwp or government/councils maybe? Or if indeed she's in a union, maybe take advice there? Hopefully they will tell her in their official capacity that she must keep the lines of communication open with her employer, or risk some sort of dismissal or whatever they're allowed to do. I don't think you can do much more than that tbh. Good job for caring so much though.

Surely she will only be getting statutory sick pay? Enhanced sickness pay is usually related to length of service.