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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think suits are inappropriate for sixth formers?

223 replies

allsfairin · 31/10/2023 12:48

I have had children go to several different sixth forms, some require suits and ties for boys / matching tailored skirt and jacket for girls. Some have a much more relaxed dress code.

My niece is now attending a sixth form which requires her to wear the matching tailored jacket and skirt, and she bought quite an expensive one, but the skirt is deemed too short and she needs to buy another. These items of clothing cost a lot especially for girls, and she has to wear the same one every day, as she can't really afford two.

My son attended this school more than 10 years ago, and I was happy enough for him to conform to the suit rules then, particularly as boys can quite often pick up suits in second hand shops, so nothing like the expense. It was, and is, a great school, he did very well, and has gone on to a great career.

However, he has never worn a suit since the day he left school, and nor have my other children. It did seem a bit old fashioned ten years ago, but these days, suits seem to me to quite often be a long way from acceptable business wear, and in fact to denote low status in the work place, whereas successful individuals generally wear smart/casual, or even casual/casual.

Looking at my own adult children and their friends, I know successful young people in music, science, finance, event management, energy, engineering - not one ever wears a suit, or even owns one, I know that by the frantic whats apps about 9pm on the evening before an interview recently when a friend of a friend suddenly wondered if he should be attending his interview in a suit and was messaging everyone he knew to see if he could borrow one, and the answer was no, no one possessed one

So IABU to think the insistence on suits in sixth form is outdated and obsolete, and these days denotes low, rather than high status? I think quite a lot of teachers still wear them, and maybe politicians, but these seem to be the only areas of life where they are still quite common

OP posts:
dressedforcomfort · 31/10/2023 16:08

My school did this 30 years ago. The boys in my year were all a bit goth and alternative and made it a point of honour to source all their stuff from charity shops.

I think it depends on the catchment - if there are loads of families likely to struggle then maybe not.

Nippi · 31/10/2023 16:12

Feeds in to parental snobbery. The only schools I know who do this are grammer schools.
I disagree about suits in the workplace. Both my DC in their 20s have occasion to wear a suit for work, if not every day.

SecretVictoria · 31/10/2023 16:13

I had never heard of this as a thing until I joined MN! A college near me is consistently one of the best in the country for A level results and is in the top 20 state sixth forms. Dress code is whatever you like. I don’t know anyone who has ever been to one with suits, I assume they’re mostly private?

Sweetpeasaremadeforbees · 31/10/2023 16:15

I assume they’re mostly private?

I think they're mostly school 6th forms but state and private.

Madcats · 31/10/2023 16:17

When DD was looking for 6th form clothing (business smart, jacket doesn't need to match trousers/skirt) we ended up buying black and navy school uniform blazers from M&S. Women's jackets have hopeless pockets.

FictionalCharacter · 31/10/2023 16:17

I agree with you. One of our local sixth forms insists on suits as a “professional standard of dress”. Very few of those students will go on to get jobs that have a dress code that formal. Especially when the school specialises in technology, so they’d be in an engineering workshop wearing a suit, which isn’t a thing in the real world.

Fruitloopcowabunga · 31/10/2023 16:17

In an 11-18 school, it kind of pitches the sixth form alongside teachers which isn't a bad thing. In our experience, the first week of sixth form they all get quite excited about getting suited and booted but after a few weeks, it's just a (slightly different) uniform to chuck on and not really think about. My DC aren't fussed by it (although DS has said he wants a different suit from the everyday one for Y13 prom)

JustKen · 31/10/2023 16:27

I agree too. I can't aee the point when many professional jobs no longer require formal dress.

Mt DD's 6th form is own clothes but they can't wear anything too revealing or anything with swears on it, or anything that could be deemed obscene. No spaghetti straps or vest tops, no midriffs on display. So conservative, but not formal. DD wears baggy trousers and shirts to school with trainers or boots.

BrimfulOfMash · 31/10/2023 16:29

None of the ‘sought after’ high performing school 6th Forms in my area of London demand suits, or uniform of any kind.

How on earth they feel prepared for life at Uni and their bar and barista holiday jobs I have no idea!

Madcats · 31/10/2023 20:02

"I don't want to be able to see up it, down it, or through it" was the 'guiding principle' for girls from one of their tutors.

DM shoes seem to be almost obligatory (yellow stitching hasn't prompted an email).

SmallestInTheClass · 31/10/2023 20:10

Outdated and unnecessary. Either have school uniform or not. A suit just makes you look like you're going to sell mobiles or work on a hotel reception desk. I wouldn't say it is aspirational, but the opposite. I'd be put off sending my kids to a school that's so out of touch. I hate to think what their careers advice looks like.

Spendonsend · 31/10/2023 20:22

I agree. I dont have an issue with uniform as such but the suit thing is very odd. I just dont see them in real life settings very often.

Bunnycat101 · 31/10/2023 20:27

I do find it bizarre- especially as the next step is generally university where students are absolutely not wearing business dress and half the time are hungover/ look like shit after dragging themselves out of bed for the horror of a 9am lecture.

WhoBrokeIt · 31/10/2023 20:35

I think the whole school uniform thing is ridiculous at any age.
We never wore them in my home country, no one got bullied etc.
I still can't get my head round suits and office wear in the UK workplace either, especially when no one sees you. We just wear jeans etc.

Parker231 · 31/10/2023 20:38

SiblingFights · 31/10/2023 12:56

I guess it is their way of making sure that they are dressing how they deem appropriately, as otherwise they'd be in ripped jeans and crop tops?

DT’s went to a non uniform school but no one wore ripped jeans and crop tops. Jeans, T-shirt and a hoodie was the norm.

LifeofBrienne · 31/10/2023 20:53

My school had own clothes for sixth form and I remember how nice it was not having to wear uniform, especially in summer. I think it contributed to a feeling that we were being treated like adults, ready to move on to university. I agree with OP, business suits are entirely pointless.

Oakbeam · 31/10/2023 21:06

Now the sixth formers there are in uniform from a single supplier, like the lower school.

Progressive infantilisation if you ask me.

Or regressive.

It was uniforms for sixth formers when I was at school in the 1970s. Right up to the third year sixth.

Rewis · 31/10/2023 21:11

Don't support school uniforms (especially suits) and strict rules around them. Haven't really heard a good argument for them. And I always find it kinds funny that kids and teens wear suits when leaving in the morning and parents do not even if they work professional jobs in corporate offices.

PhotoDad · 31/10/2023 21:15

Maybe this is derailing the thread, but which professions do still expect suits? I was watching the Covid Inquiry and this thread popped into my mind, as all the civil servants, politicians, and lawyers were in suits.

gotomomo · 31/10/2023 21:18

One of my dc wore anything, the other had strict school uniform, the latter was easier.

Rewis · 31/10/2023 21:30

gotomomo · 31/10/2023 21:18

One of my dc wore anything, the other had strict school uniform, the latter was easier.

This is also a personality thing. Some know exactly what to wear to a party Some don't.

I'm originally from a country without uniforms or really any dress codes. I dint recall anyone wearing anything inappropriate. Jeans, hoodie and sneakers was the most common one. Then my family moved for a few years and I attended an international school with uniforms (khakis and blue polo) and I have to say that free dress days were the most stressful days. Never in my life had I stressed about what to wear to school. But when in uniformed school the free dress days and evening hangs with friends it felt like I really had to present myself eventhough I never cared before. And once we moved back, I didn't really care about what to wear to school or hangs anymore. It was just normal again.

I can wrap my head around blue shirt and trousers (if i have to) but when they start dictating socks, shoes belts and nails it goes above and beyond my comprehension

Falzarega · 31/10/2023 21:32

Yep it’s ridiculous

Schools are so old fashioned and outnof date

Why do kids have to wear ties?! Why?!

Falzarega · 31/10/2023 21:33

PhotoDad · 31/10/2023 21:15

Maybe this is derailing the thread, but which professions do still expect suits? I was watching the Covid Inquiry and this thread popped into my mind, as all the civil servants, politicians, and lawyers were in suits.

Lawyers still need to wear suita, and you have to make sure you look boring, because clients don’t have confidence in a lawyer who looks laid back or funky

Iloveeatingmygreens · 31/10/2023 21:37

Falzarega, totally agree! We had to wear ties from age 5! I'm female! Never had to wear a tie to work!

BCCoach · 31/10/2023 21:37

No school sixth forms here at all and the sixth form college has no dress code whatsoever. We still somehow manage to get an OFSTED Outstanding rating and a couple of dozen kids into Oxbridge every year, despite the ripped jeans and crop tops.