To think you just don't do this to a child

[Notanotherone8765]

My daughter's whole class go swimming every Friday. They get the bus to the swimming pool which is about 15 minutes away.
On Friday they were finishing up their swimming (it's the last thing of the day) and the teacher then said that everyone had to stay in the pool except my daughter. Turns out one of the girls was having her birthday party at the pool straight after. My daughter then had to get in the bus with the teacher and they came back to the school. I was there for the bus getting back and asked why my daughter was the only one on the bus and that's when the teacher told me. I understand not everyone is invited to everyone's party but would there not have been a better way of doing this? My daughter and I am very upset and I want to know if you think I'm being unreasonable. All opinions will be considered. Thank you
Oh and my daughter is 6 for context

@Rosiiee it sounds like there may have been 'school time' when the teacher wasn't present otherwise op's dd would've been late back to the school?

Actually this does happen. My dgs’ class (5 / 6 year olds) all went to the swimming pool for 4 consecutive afternoons last term. Dd was one of the Parent helpers. However, they all went from school on a bus and returned to school on a bus.

something similar like this happened to me as a child.

the memory is vivid now..... it really doesn't matter and there more social awkwardness and exclusive will come again.

not sure how the school could or would have done anything different.

The school could, and should have refused to facilitate the party and exclusion of 1 child by following their proper procedures. You might not be bothered by your experience but you aren’t everyone.

It seems very hard to believe, for all of the reasons everyone has said, but also how would the kids enjoy that pool party when they've just had a swimming lesson - they would all be tired and cold!

If I were you OP I would be complaining to the school. Although you cannot control who is invited to someone else's birthday party out of school, in this instance the deliberate exclusion of one child (yours) was done by the school, by the teacher.
At very least I would have wanted to know about this arrangement in advance so I could have picked daughter up from school before swimming rather than have her excluded in front of everyone.
But I also agree with others, the school should not have been complicit in the party arrangements at all, they should have delivered all children back to parents as usual.

Every teacher I know including myself would have refused to have any part in this. Wrong on so many levels.

Well said. I've been banging this drum for years, but this must be the worst example. A whole thread derailed and ruined because of a different labelling if a midterm break. Utter madness.

I'm so sorry for you and your daughter. So it was a surprise party then or all swore to secrecy ? I cant believe it was allowed and I'm sure little one is traumatised and humiliated. This was intentional by the other mother and she needs to be shamed. This is the worst case of exclusion I've ever heard. Those who allowed this are bullies. Teachers included.

Why? A week off at Halloween is as standard as two weeks at Christmas and Easter here. As someone said, it's a bank holiday in Ireland today (not NI 😢) and that's incorporated into the mid-term break.

But it is half term in some parts of England to so what does it have to do with that.

This sounds unbelievable because of their age, safeguarding, general procedures at school!

I hope the op isnt chased off by troll hunting bullies

At least the poster who is a governor has been able to help via pm.

To those thinking it couldn't happen - it does . Schools facilitate exclusion as happened to my boy when he was 7 .

The class teacher and TA allowed the entire class to tear up the Xmas cards ds had taken in for the whole class .
When challenged on this I got a terse reply of "what do you expect us to do about it " . So I totally believed this could happen - this was a small state catholic school . There were many further examples of him being excluded socially before he found others to be friends with who were like him at secondary school.

I'm Northern Ireland and yes our children are all off all week 🙄 to the people googling omg 😶

Soup dragon has edited their post, it originally snipped that literally every Irish school wasn’t off this week as theirs wasn’t.

Im in England and we’re on half term too.

I agree🥲

It’s the same ones every time. Just piling on, just here trying to catch people out & being disgusting in the process. There are still more lovely & helpful people on Mumsnet but there’s definitely a group of people I would call vile & unkind.

Op, if you’re still here reading (II doubt it & totally understandable) I hope you get answers from your email & you & your DD are ok.

Can this really happen? I'm not saying it's a made up story and i also don't have primary school aged children so i am clueless about school policies but not returning an entire class back to school at the end of the day and just leaving them at a pool (all but this one child) seems really odd.

Also like someone else said above, how could the children enjoy a pool party when they have just had a lesson? They would surely be tired and cold by this point.

My god op this is just unthinkable. The reaction on here shows how shocking it is.

My child would not be in school tomorrow. I would lose all faith in their judgement and care.
It’s also a safe guarding issue to have one teacher with so many children.

This was not a mistake. The teacher was complicit in the exclusion/bullying. I would be escalating to the board of governors, HT and ofsted. I am so sorry for you and dd 💐

This is awful, the only thing that would make it slightly understandable is if your daughter is not invited because she's been unkind to the birthday girl in the past? But even then the school shouldn't have facilitated the situation in this way.

Ah ok, fair enough. Perhaps it's unreasonable to say every school is off. I've certainly only ever known schools here to take their midterm this week but perhaps there's flexibility. Poor kids at school while everyone else is off for trick or treating!

🙋🏽‍♀️ also in England and on half term this week.

It varies year to year where I am, sometimes we’re off over half term, others years not. Kids always get to trick or treat though

This was such a cruel thing to do to a child of only 6yo. I honestly would be heartbroken seeing her get off the empty bus. Op this unacceptable of the school. Wtf did they even allow this. Who leaves out one child unless they are a bully.

That didn’t make it understandable or acceptable. The school should have said no. Kids are always unkind to each other at some point or another.

Ah yeah I know it varies in England, it really really doesn't IME here though. Not sure where @SoupDragon is based.

We are in England and we were off school last week

Why are people focusing on the half term break ?

Op wasn't asking for debate on half terms when they are or what they're referred to as ?