To think you just don't do this to a child

[Notanotherone8765]

My daughter's whole class go swimming every Friday. They get the bus to the swimming pool which is about 15 minutes away.
On Friday they were finishing up their swimming (it's the last thing of the day) and the teacher then said that everyone had to stay in the pool except my daughter. Turns out one of the girls was having her birthday party at the pool straight after. My daughter then had to get in the bus with the teacher and they came back to the school. I was there for the bus getting back and asked why my daughter was the only one on the bus and that's when the teacher told me. I understand not everyone is invited to everyone's party but would there not have been a better way of doing this? My daughter and I am very upset and I want to know if you think I'm being unreasonable. All opinions will be considered. Thank you
Oh and my daughter is 6 for context

To find holes in the story as people can't believe a parents would be so vile as to do this to a 6 year old.

But it can happen, has happened , and the ooor op has been chased off at a time she needed support

I was about to say the same thing.

OP, i am so sorry this happened to your child.

The parent/s of the party child should hang their head in shame to do this to another child.

What was the school thinking in allowing this?

I would be taking this up with the school and i would take my child out of this school.

Letting the party mum know she's an absolute bitch wouldn't go amiss either.

All the best to you and your child.

This!!! Could not have worded it better!!

Why does it matter if the teacher was male or female? If you're this crazy about 'safeguarding', then perhaps you're in the wrong profession.

Loco parentis! 🤦‍♀️

Every school I am involved with in NI is off this week.

OP that is shockingly bad, I still remember a party where one girl was excluded 30 years on (some of us asked why she wasn’t there).

The type of parents the party child has are awful and in no way should this have been facilitated by teaching staff, it shows an appalling lack of common sense and awareness and ‘gumption’ as my granny would say.

@ReadingSoManyThreads
Hmm sorry for taking safeguarding seriously. What is wrong with you?

What is the usual policy for swimming

Times roughly

They leave school at ......

Swim at pool for maybe 30 mins .......

Then leave pool 15/30 min before school ends to get back in time for school ending

So either kids were all left with one party girls parent before school actually finished

Ans your dd and teacher on coach alone back to school for what I assume was end of school

Sounds like the teacher was to blame as well for not making sure all kids were back to school

There's nothing wrong with me other than my frustration at people who don't actually understand safeguarding. My safeguarding training (former teacher), was very clear that being alone with a pupil/student in itself is NOT a safeguarding risk. So many schools have gone completely overboard with safeguarding in recent years, completely overzealous and I'm convinced it's because of people like you who simply don't understand it.

I also have numerous family members who have taught in high positions (Principal, Vice Principal's etc.) and worked in schools for their whole careers and they even comment with how crazy and overzealous safeguarding is these days. It's ridiculous.

There absolutely is a requirement for safeguarding protocols to be in place, but overzealous craziness is just absurd.

I find this very peculiar.
My DC’s primary had a pool on site and in infants parents had to help - so there was a ratio of adults (out of pool) to children in pool. This was around 15 years ago so I imagine rules could be even tighter now. We were all DBS checked as we helped with changing as well.
Also teachers were only allowed to hand out invitations if the whole class were invited (WhatsApp wasn’t a thing then) so now way would they have got involved in a party arrangement.
So in your case kids went offsite for swimming, kids stayed in pool after lesson - who with? - except your dd who went back to school with the teacher?
If it’s true it’s an awful thing to happen in so many levels.

@ReadingSoManyThreads

People like me. Hmm I could say people like you are the reasons why some slip through the net.

I also have family members in school and I am a teacher myself. We are even advised to leave a door open if we are talking to a student alone.

The teacher is leaving themselves open to allegations with just one child. This is the world we live in. It's not too far it's just protecting everyone involved.

Sheesh.

Well said. This place is becoming unbearable with some of the attitudes shown on this thread. If it doesn't happen that way in England.then it didn't happens because apparently England is the centre of the bloody universe.

I hope OP is okay after posting about something that really upset her to be met with these comments and troll hunting

Absolutely leave a door open when alone with a pupil/student, I agree with that, and was a practice I implemented myself. But we aren't talking about a lone situation here, there's a bus driver there too. Most buses have cameras on board too. Presumably the Headteacher was aware that this would be the situation on the return journey and I'm sure if they had any concerns over this teacher or pupil that they would not have let this happen.

Well said. This place is becoming unbearable with some of the attitudes shown on this thread. If it doesn't happen that way in England.then it didn't happens because apparently England is the centre of the bloody universe.*

Not even England as many of us are on half term now. People just can't see past their noses and are determined to be the one to be Gotcha!*

Absolutely leave a door open when alone with a pupil/student, I agree with that, and was a practice I implemented myself. But we aren't talking about a lone situation here, there's a bus driver there too. Most buses have cameras on board too. Presumably the Headteacher was aware that this would be the situation on the return journey and I'm sure if they had any concerns over this teacher or pupil that they would not have let this happen.

The whole sorry situation should not have happened at all and wouldn't have in most schools.

What happens when a pupil with SEN is withdrawn from class for extra work with the SEN teacher?
That's often one to one coaching, isn't it?

What happens when a pupil with SEN is withdrawn from class for extra work with the SEN teacher?
That's often one to one coaching, isn't it?

*Door open, communal areas, windows etc that's why most doors have a glass panel.

I agree it's sad but look at the past.*

@viques@Growlybear83

All of what I am about to say is about the Republic of Ireland, but it is apparent from the OP that the one-week Halloween school break is standard in N.I. too.

Halloween is a key date in the calendar in Ireland. The Celtic festival of Samhain which has been celebrated/marked since time immemorial on this island has been Halloween for many hundreds of years.

Schools in Ireland break for one week at Halloween. In Ireland, the mid-term break doesn’t occasionally conincide with Halloween, rather the mid-term break is absolutely always at Halloween. It is the Halloween break.

Halloween may be new to parts of the UK [largely indirectly imported from the US, rather than directly from Ireland (and Scotland)]. However, it long pre-dates the school system itself in Ireland. It is in no way new-fangled here, but rather an indigenous special tradition-laden day and period that children in particular are involved in: special games, special fruit bread (barmbrack), dressing up, trick-or-treating, play-casting spells and telling the future with apple peels and all the rest. Halloween was as contemporary to our grandparents’ grandparents as it is to us, and was always a feast day.

Aside from the one-week Halloween Break at schools, the last Monday of October is a Bank Holiday in Ireland, i.e. the Halloween bank holiday. This year the official bank holiday for workers fell on 30 October.

Wikipedia: “Celebrated in Ireland and Scotland for centuries, Irish and Scottish immigrants took many Halloween customs to North America in the 19th century, and then through American influence various Halloween customs spread to other countries by the late 20th and early 21st century.”

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halloween

@viques Always off for Halloween every year of my school career in NI, it was referred to as the Halloween break.

People don’t say ‘half term’ as much in NI as in England, it’s the Halloween break, Easter break, summer holidays (which start at the end of June which always raises questions on mumsnet threads about why kids are not in school from some particularly English-centric posters).

I'd be moving my dd from this small primary. If school has gone along with this they haven't safeguarded children correctly. No teacher in their right mind would have allowed this - because it happened on school time it is a form of bullying.
I'd be looking for a new place asap, your dd deserves better

In the Republic we call it midterm...weirdly Seamus Heaney from NI also called it Mid Term Break. (And I know I am supposed to say Ireland and not the Republic but I am differentiating the states for ease of reading this).
Once years ago the Bank Holiday fell on 25th October as the last Monday of the month. So 31st was a Sunday. This caused a lot of angst at primary school because kids would be exhausted on 1 November.

I was thinking of that poem earlier. Agree we never said half-term, only ever midterm. Not sure if that's uniform though.

I think 1st November was a holy day when catholics were supposed to go to mass, my school was catholic so even if Halloween had been on a Sunday we would have been off on the Monday.

That poem is so sad.

I don't think it is 'overzealous' when we have, rarely, had teachers/nursey staff (both male and female) being convicted of sexual offences against children in their charge.

Google how may teachers/headteachers/staff have been convicted of having child p images on their computers.

As rare as it is, it was still someone's child that was abused.

We have to unfortunately accept that this does take place.

You cannot blame a parent wanting to safeguard their child, however small the risk. To do so is crazy.