To ask what you have done to change your life for the better

[Littlecatonthefence]

Im not depressed, or desperately unhappy maybe just a bit meh alot of the time but on the other hand grateful for what i have.

But i feel like life is passing me by and i want to make more out of it.

What have you done for yourself to make your life better or just more productive.

I prioritise experiences (I go to a lot of arts events) and holidays. This really helps with feeling like life is just a grind.

I'm also quite ruthless with my time and I don't spend time with people who bring me down or drain me. This frees up time for the above!

Small thing, but made a huge difference. A few years back I started the Read 50 books challenge. Prior to that, I'd have said that I had no time to read- too busy with work, family etc etc. Making that time to read has brought so much joy into my life and really enriched my time.

Also a friend said he always thought of me as a "woman who didn't give a fuck." I don't think it was true then, but I decided it would become my life rule and I live by that now.

I am actively trying to combat the idea that I must be productive!

started using an old-fashioned paper planner.

originally got it to keep track of upcoming work trips, but found it really useful for managing my life in general, and now I wouldn’t be without one.

I use it for appointments, daily to-dos, project planning, lists etc. There are blank pages at the back where I jot down useful info like NHS number, passport number etc. The planner I use is small and slim so I can take it anywhere and I’m so much more organised and productive now as I can see where my time is going. It makes me more accountable and I make conscious choices about what I want to prioritise. It’s hardly a revolutionary idea but it’s been life-changing for me and I really wish I’d discovered the magic of a paper planner years ago!

I take care of myself - be that getting my nails done, doing a face mask, having a slug moment and moisturising head to toe, reading my favourite book, having a walk alone to listen to good music, going for a coffee and shopping date on my own etc etc.

If I feel good then I take more joy in the everyday things, which makes me appreciate everything more. Romanticising my own life has definitely made a huge difference, felt silly at first but the mindset is something that'll stay now.

This.

I made a pact with myself to do one new thing every month. Doesn't need to be big, just a new experience. Just one means its not overwhelming, but it does push you out of your comfort zone.

(second also for a paper planner and rigorous time management)

Stocked up on AA batteries🥹.

Lighthearted (but true) please don’t shoot me down in flames.

Pick the cake on the plate I really want, rather than being polite and leaving it for someone else to take!

Did an MSc in a subject I was really interested in. Prioritise experiences over stuff. Looked after myself more by eating really, really well.

Growing things! Had a few veggies this year! And nurturing house plants! Quite a buzz tbh!

Got divorced from my narcissistic psychopath of a H (professionals label not mine!) and then the biggest thing that I did/do for myself is to start saying yes to things!!! Yes I’ll meet up for coffee, yes I’ll go to the party, yes I’ll have a slice of my favourite cake to cheer me up!!!! Sounds stupid I know but I read it somewhere and it helped me a lot in the early days.
best wishes Op 💐

Gardening, being outside really fills my spirit, so I am ruthless about making time for it.

Joined a keep fit class and a walking group. The exercise makes me feel good but the social side has been an unexpected bonus.

Lost 8 stone, bought a campervan, got a better paying job with less hours and wfh (saving at least 20 hrs a week)
👍

@StarlightLady Treat yourself to a rechargeable 😏

My daughters play The Sims and I used to play it as a young adult- I do sometimes sort of think of things in terms of needs like a Sim has - social, learning, food, energy, health, family, work, fun, comfort, etc, to keep the little diamond above my head bright green, LOL.

If I'm feeling a bit grey or pale green then it's usually because I'm lacking in one or more areas.

https://sims.fandom.com/wiki/Plumbob

Probably not quite as simple as forgetting to build a door in a room 😂, but you get the picture.

https://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html

I started to listen to audiobooks. It sounds silly but I used to feel a bit stressed that I never had time to read, and I love reading, but I bought some wireless headphones and joined the library and audible and I love it!

I listen while I walk, do housework, drive, shop, everything. It makes mundane jobs pass more easily and gives my brain something to focus on - it's honestly helped my stress levels. I listen to books and podcasts, there are so many to choose from and I'm never bored.

Another who ditched the Millstone Husband.

Moved to a beautiful part of the country. Even with the grey wet weather today it is beautiful and it genuinely makes me smile. I feel lucky to live here.

Several years ago, i was coming out of a three-year long fog of post-viral fatigue (sort of long term, severe but temporary chronic fatigue syndrome) and my life was in a rut. I made a decision to do something I'd never done before every day for a year and make a note of it in a private blog. It was genuinely one of the most fun years I've ever had. I ended up in a very well paid job using skills I didn't even have at the start of the year, i tried loads of new things and generally ended up with a much more laid back, unjudgemental, open and upbeat attitude to life.

Start with small things - a new recipe, a new route to work, then push yourself a bit. New music styles (went to a few metal and house gigs with teen dc!) new hobbies, new clothes styles etc. Meet new people, give anything a go once, tick things off from a bucket list.

I really recommend it.

After getting divorced, I decided to pursue new experiences and make choices that I hadn’t felt free to make previously. Like how to spend Christmas and where to go on holiday. I find that planning things to look forward to helps make life less grey. Enjoying little pleasures like browsing in a bookshop or sitting in a cafe for a leisurely coffee are also fab. If you want to achieve something meaningful, maybe try volunteering or fundraising for a cause close to your heart? Like @AceOfCups, I find writing down to-do lists are best for productivity.

Meditation! I started off with the Headspace app, but there are free apps like Plum Village which is great too. All aspects of my life are better with meditation!

As strange as it might sound, learning to say an unapologetic, un-explained “no” was a life changer. Prior to a few years ago, I couldn’t say no. Volunteer projects, family “obligations”, events, daily demands, invitations, opportunities… I’d take them all or else I’d give a very detailed explanation of why I was reluctantly saying no (and often people felt that explanation wasn’t a valid reason for declining).

Saying “no” to things allowed us to choose what was actually important, what actually was worth prioritizing, or what we actually could fit into our lives. Doesn’t mean we’re not stretched ever - it just means when we are, we generally know it’s for a good reason. And it allowed me to do things that I enjoyed, and chose to do, rather than just going with the flow of whatever “needed” doing.

Gave up smoking.

Went back to reading (I used to read a lot, but found it hard to fit in when my DC were little) and started running.