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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what you have done to change your life for the better

309 replies

Littlecatonthefence · 30/10/2023 11:14

Im not depressed, or desperately unhappy maybe just a bit meh alot of the time but on the other hand grateful for what i have.

But i feel like life is passing me by and i want to make more out of it.

What have you done for yourself to make your life better or just more productive.

OP posts:
Ladyof2022 · 30/10/2023 18:40

I have gone no contact with my siblings.

SoddingWeddings · 30/10/2023 18:42

Changed job to one that pays less but feeds my soul. I used to sit outside the old one for an hour gearing myself up to go into the building.

Joined a philharmonic choir (recent).

Bought a pile of expensive new cotton / bamboo mix ankle socks in funny print and binned the old sweaty ones I pulled up ten times a day.

roarrfeckingroar · 30/10/2023 18:42

Daily exercise
Cut my work hours

Ladyof2022 · 30/10/2023 18:46

I made the Conscious decision to stop online dating or indeed any kind of dating and just be on my own for the rest of my life because trying to have relationships with men is just too hard, time consuming, frustrating, and annoying.

Anneta · 30/10/2023 18:59

I book tickets to go to see musicals at the Theatre with my daughter in law if she’s free or I go alone. I’ve recently joined a choir (called Rock Choir) and attend rehearsals two evenings a week, monthly social events & performances.
I visit National Trust properties and have lunch or tea there, as well as looking around the house & gardens.
I have contacted friends, cousins and other relatives who I have not seen for a while and arranged visits or meals out.
I read a lot, listen to audio books & follow series on catch up TV.
I enjoy Social Media & follow family, friends, random people & celebrities on Instagram & Facebook.
I’ve befriended a neighbour who has been recently widowed and meet up with her most days for a hour for coffee & a chat.
I’m the Uber taxi service for two of my teenage grandchildren.
I like to have at least one holiday/short break to look forward to, not expensive, just to explore a nearby area. Recent breaks include

  • Bath with a visit to the rooftop Spa baths, Roman bath house, Pump Rooms, The Crescent, dinner at The Ivy and a stay in a lovely hotel.
  • Somerset with trips to Dunster Village, Montecute House, the Steam Railway, swimming pool & a local cinema to see The Great Escaper.
  • Plymouth to see Johannes from Strictly show, Dinner at the Royal William Yard, visit to The Hoe, a day at Dartmoor with lunch & cream tea & a visit to Tavistock with shopping & lunch
I would advise you to get a calendar or diary and just start thinking what you enjoy doing and then see which of your friends, family, neighbours or acquaintances would like to join you.
Georgyporky · 30/10/2023 19:08

2 things, both a long time ago.

Undertook a course of study, leading to a qualification that tripled my salary, & has ongoing benefits.

Divorced a bastard.

Naimee87 · 30/10/2023 19:09

Stopped drinking alcohol completely, running/working out as often as possible, and finally got a dog 😊 also set aside time to read has done wonders for my mental health

Lindjam · 30/10/2023 19:10

In chronological order:

Got divorced
Started doing things on my own more often - theatre, galleries, museums, holidays.
Moved to a tiny house by the sea.
Gave up my stressful HOD job in teaching and now do in house training for more money.
Quit alcohol - this has made a huge difference and I have also lost two stone as a result.

AinsleyMoroccanCouscous · 30/10/2023 19:26
  1. Got a dog. Everyone in the family is happier and less grumpy.
  1. Quietly retreated from toxic/unhealthy friendships. Luckily this was only a very small number of people in my life, but the difference is immeasurable, a real sense of calm.
  1. Stopped apologizing/feeling guilty for now wanting to enjoy the simpler things in life (night in with a homemade curry, glass of good red and an open fire is literally by idea of a perfect evening) even when friends still want to be out partying all the time.
DaveClifton · 30/10/2023 19:27

Turned off all News notifications on my phone. Honestly, it's made such a difference to me - the residual feeling of unease/anxiety I carried around all day is now gone.

I now read or watch the news once a day and don't have relentless doom and/or total non-stories distracting me all the time.

skyfalldown · 30/10/2023 19:29

Regular exercise. I'm the least sporty person on the planet and always assumed people were lying when they said it made them feel good.

But it works. It really, genuinely works.

GnomeDePlume · 30/10/2023 19:39

Started sewing again after a break of about 20 years. I make clothes, soft furnishings and bags. Nothing really complicated but I discovered I love fabric and I love making things with it.

Got an allotment. Being outdoors and having something to show for it.

justaboutdonenow · 30/10/2023 19:41

Changed from working as an employee to working for myself, in a job I love & am good at- I'm poor but happy & a lot less stressed.

Cut off toxic friends & family members, & generally spend as little time as possible around anyone who drains me.

Started saying 'no' more to people & threw myself into the things that bring me joy- my pets, garden, hobbies & interests.

Spending less time on social media, because 'comparison is the thief of joy'.

Ensure I get out in nature every day & just look around for the little things that most other people miss.

I am ND & an introvert though, so for a lot of people the changes I made to my life might not appeal.

Sheruns · 30/10/2023 19:43

Running. So much joy to be had running

Fishandchipsatthebeach · 30/10/2023 19:55

Moved somewhere beautiful
Daily time outdoors in nature
Regular exercise

PonkyPonky · 30/10/2023 20:04

I recently started running and I finally picked up books again. I’m so much happier for both of these small changes. I was very unfit and I feel an immense pride seeing that I can now run far further than I could when I started a few weeks ago. And I forgot books are so much bloody better than tv!

AceOfCups · 30/10/2023 20:05

RainbowBasket · 30/10/2023 18:27

@AceOfCups I’ve been looking for a lightweight planner that isn’t too big to carry about in my bag, where do you get yours from?

I use a Hobonichi Weeks.

Moleskine do a similar one with the same layout but I like the Hobonichi because the paper is suitable for fountain pens.

ithinkthatmaybeimdreaming · 30/10/2023 20:12

The first thing I did was take redundancy when offered from my last full time job. I then worked on a casual basis for four years, and had a permanent part time job for a year. Three months ago I retired a year before I am due for superannuation. Both decisions were bad in a financial sense, but I have absolutely no regrets and am enjoying life more than I ever have before.

Goodornot · 30/10/2023 20:13

tiredofbeingadmired · 30/10/2023 11:18

I prioritise experiences (I go to a lot of arts events) and holidays. This really helps with feeling like life is just a grind.

I'm also quite ruthless with my time and I don't spend time with people who bring me down or drain me. This frees up time for the above!

This exactly. I love hiking too so go on hiking holidays.

IncomingTraffic · 30/10/2023 20:16

I’m getting divorced. 🤣 Admittedly, the actual process is horrible but it is definitely steps in the right direction.

More practically, I bought a robot vacuum cleaner. Not having to hoover myself is an improvement. It mops too.

dooooom · 30/10/2023 20:27

This is an amazing thread!

KeithChegwinFromExtrasPopKnob · 30/10/2023 20:29

Ladyof2022 · 30/10/2023 18:46

I made the Conscious decision to stop online dating or indeed any kind of dating and just be on my own for the rest of my life because trying to have relationships with men is just too hard, time consuming, frustrating, and annoying.

💯

SunshineAndFizz · 30/10/2023 20:38

KStockHERO · 30/10/2023 13:47

I took up boxing.

I started reading books again.

I committed to drinking enough water each day.

I started lifting weights.

I swapped a handbag for a bag pack.

I got a good skincare routine.

I stopped giving a fuck what anyone thinks of me.

Love every one of these!

mindutopia · 30/10/2023 20:43

I stopped drinking. Honestly, you never in a million years could have convinced me that that would have made a huge difference. But it’s like I was living in black and white and now I see the world in colour. My children are more enjoyable to be around. Going on holiday is more fun. I enjoy food more. All the things most people drink to enhance are actually so much better without alcohol. I never would have believed anyone who said that to me before I did it myself!

bakewellbride · 30/10/2023 20:44

@mindutopia I forgot this one! 7 years in January for me. It's amazing