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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what you have done to change your life for the better

309 replies

Littlecatonthefence · 30/10/2023 11:14

Im not depressed, or desperately unhappy maybe just a bit meh alot of the time but on the other hand grateful for what i have.

But i feel like life is passing me by and i want to make more out of it.

What have you done for yourself to make your life better or just more productive.

OP posts:
Bandolina · 30/10/2023 22:03

Joined a gym and go to group PT classes. It's an amazing stress buster especially lifting weights

Got a dog. Gets me out walking him in nature on a daily basis which again is amazing for feeling peaceful

Making time to go to music gigs on a regular basis usually with DH. It's a shared pleasure and reminds us that we can enjoy things together. Often stay overnight now the kids are teens.

justalittlesnoel · 30/10/2023 22:03

@TheUltima

Oh that's fairly accurate tbh. The second I slug up and become a slimy creature, my hairy tabby decides it's time to get re-acquainted with my shins. I end up with the fur I was trying to lose back on me 😂

ThisIsaNiceDress · 30/10/2023 22:03

@Georgyporky which qualification is that if you don’t mind me asking?

TravellingT · 30/10/2023 22:05

Remember hobbies I used to enjoy and invest in them- sewing machine, games console, decorating the house myself.

Time to myself with no tech (or phone on silent in bag). I go for a walk everyday with DD now, even/especially when I don't feel like it. Even if it's to the end of the road and back, or I'll drive to a small park and walk the paths.

Outsource everything- hired a cleaner, a housekeeper who nannies, gardener, dry cleaner, everything. Weekly online food shops of standard items we need, then I go out for the rest.

ServeMeTheSky · 30/10/2023 22:07

Therapy. It's changed every part of my life for the better.

Warriormum1 · 30/10/2023 22:08

Finally accepting the fact that I am not a morning person and not feeling guilty about it. I used to try everything I could to force myself to get up early and get things done. It made me miserable. Now I just get up at the latest point I possibly can and do the bare minimum in the morning. I do the majority of my work in the afternoon and evening. I still get loads done, just at a time that suits me.

Not answering the phone if I don't feel like it. If it's important they'll leave a message, and you never get caught on the back foot with people asking you to do things you don't want to do.

Accepting myself as I am and accepting that not everyone is going to like me.

Indulging my interests and hobbies - I try to do a little bit of something I like every day. I don't have time to do a lot of what I want to do but I always do a little something just for me - either sewing, reading, writing, doing my nails or listening to Audible.

Leopardpj · 30/10/2023 22:11

I did an evening course in something I'd always wanted to do, and loved it, and it ended up becoming my new career - I now work fewer hours and have so much less stress for the same money. So glad I did it!

Bluffetybluff · 30/10/2023 22:15

getting as fit & healthy as you can,
being out in nature, walking, hiking, gardening
Basically, do more of what you love

AceOfCups · 30/10/2023 22:19

@theduchessofspork

I use a Hobonichi Weeks. It's a great Japanese brand which I like because the paper is good for fountain pens. Each year they release different covers, and it's always fun choosing one for the new year.

If you're not fussed about fountain pens then Moleskine does a similar diary with the same layout.

Jellykat · 30/10/2023 22:19

Having always been a 'people pleaser,' i've learnt to say no to things.. feels good

Teddy65 · 30/10/2023 22:19

I left a toxic job

Having fewer truly great friends and intentionally drifting from anyone who makes you feel shit about any aspect of your life

Giving up Instagram - it’s a load of white anyway. Nobody posts about their shit day or crap meal.

small thing: We do a clean/chores like ironing in 30 (timed) mins max every evening to save me having to do it in the morning on my own and spending forever doing it. (I’m on Mat leave) It’s so nice going to bed with a ‘reset’ home and mindset, ready for a new day. A deeper clean doesn’t take as long as we do these little maintenance ones.

GrouchyKiwi · 30/10/2023 22:24

Realising I was dependent on alcohol and making sure I didn't drink it when I felt I needed it.

Ditching shop-bought bread and making my own sourdough - a loaf for the family every two days. It's sometimes a chore, but every time I take that fresh loaf out of the oven I get a happy boost, and then a hour or so later I get to eat the crust/heel and it is the best bread ever.

SkaneTos · 30/10/2023 22:28

I try to visit sights/attractions close to where I live. Place that I have talked about visiting for ages, I try to actually visit. Great experiences, and not too expensive!

ChishiyaBat · 30/10/2023 22:29

Played more video games and spent more time with my family, my children and granddaughter bring me joy on a daily basis. Video games are my time, i've always played and I appreciate them more now i've got less time to myself.

LadyMingeBagOfFallopianshire · 30/10/2023 22:30

Started using the term 'Not my Circus, not my monkeys'

This is a fab thread

MerelyPlaying · 30/10/2023 22:40

Stopped buying things, and got rid of loads of possessions. It’s made life so much simpler - the house is easier to clean, I can find things whenever I need them, I feel calmer and don’t feel I have to apologise or tidy up (much) for visitors.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 30/10/2023 22:49

Gave up chocolate !

Not never ever again, but maybe 2-3 times a year I'll eat it . And it has to be worth the effort .

PegasusReturns · 30/10/2023 22:49

start every day with a walk

yoga & Pilates (separate classes)

audiobooks

reduce takeaways (Fridays only - if we can’t be bothered to cook we eat toast or go out for dinner)

declutter thoroughly every 6mths

one on one trips /nights out with DC

BIG yes to paper diary/planner - I use the moleskin

Stealthtax · 30/10/2023 22:50

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

creditdraper · 30/10/2023 22:50

Dropped or should I say trying to drop very long time friends who are toxic to my relationship with my DH.
We realised during lockdown that we didn’t miss them. In fact our life was a lot less stressed. They have tried very hard to get things back as they were pre COVID but we’re just not interested as they are very controlling, patronising and pretentious snobs and we hadn’t stopped to really think about that before.
They won’t take a hint or straight talking so ghosting them at the moment but still get messages (mobile, phone, email, messenger etc)
We are at the stage of wanting to say Piss Off! but can’t.
Life is so much more pleasant without them in it.

JayJayEl · 30/10/2023 22:51

Love this - some very interesting replies!

Me? I quit teaching after 15 years. I whistle blew end of 2019. I was off sick for a while and just...never went back. I now work with the elderly rather than Early Years children, and I LOVE it. I get paid a hell of a lot less - almost 2/3rds less - but would still do it again in a heartbeat. Money is very, very, very tight now. But my son has a present parent, and my spouse has a present spouse, and I have infinitely better mental and physical health. Plus time for a social life, and I have my weekends back! Best thing I ever did!

smilesup · 30/10/2023 22:51

Two massive changes that have made my life immeasurable better.

  1. Prioritised activities over things. So now go out a lot to cinema, theatre, small trips, holidays, clubbing, festivals, camping etc. To afford it I buy almost nothing new, spend no money on bollocks (for me) like a decent car, new sofa, gel nails, new clothes, or expensive shoes. On holidays do it on the relative cheap so can have two holidays usually in exciting places for the price my mates pay for one.
Ger1atricMillennial · 30/10/2023 22:54

In New Zealand there is a scheme called "Wonky Box" where they send you fruits/veggies that would otherwise be thrown away because they don't meet the aesthetic standards of the supermarket (big think here in NZ compared to the UK).

This took enough of the mental load from me, soI just has to plan around what was available. I now have a much wider variety of fruit and veggies in my diet and have increased my skills around cooking.

That plus having an appointment with a dietician to understand what correct proportions of each food group was to aim for has really helped me cut down on the junk.

ntmdino · 30/10/2023 22:55

In an existential sense (and I realise this probably doesn't apply to you), I had an autism assessment (and passed! :D ). It let me forgive myself for being different, and that's no small thing when you've spent 45 years thinking you're an aberration.

I also waited patiently for MIL to die. That improved the lives of everyone around her immeasurably.

Aside from that...I found that I like to make things, so I bought tools and a 3D printer, and now I've found that I can make all manner of things that just make our lives easier - all the tat that you'd normally buy from Amazon that almost does the job but requires compromise...not only is it a great hobby, but our lives are significantly improved by being able to have exactly the things we need which fit perfectly, rather than having to make do with somebody else's solution.

Marleymoo42 · 30/10/2023 22:56

My goal is now simply to feel content and not be constantly disappointed with what I haven't achieved.

I also moved back to the country, went back to church and went part time at work.