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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what you have done to change your life for the better

309 replies

Littlecatonthefence · 30/10/2023 11:14

Im not depressed, or desperately unhappy maybe just a bit meh alot of the time but on the other hand grateful for what i have.

But i feel like life is passing me by and i want to make more out of it.

What have you done for yourself to make your life better or just more productive.

OP posts:
DoubleTime · 30/10/2023 22:56

I started studying with the Open Uni. It makes me feel like I did something with my time, when I see my Study Record.

Jewelspun · 30/10/2023 22:59

Got more dogs.

Barbiegirl2013 · 30/10/2023 23:00

I felt very unfulfilled for a long time. I taught myself a new hobby that brings me a lot of joy and got into houseplants and gardening. I grew strawberries and lots of various plants this year which really cheered me up! I found even an hour in the garden in the evening helped my mood massively and seeing the progress of the plants was so satisfying. I don’t have the most gratifying job - finance. So I get pleasure from these little things. I also don’t have children so I have the time to do this!

NDisnormalinmyfamily · 30/10/2023 23:01

In the last five years, getting rid of the shitty husband, cutting crappy family members out of my life, getting a job I love, making time to meet with friends on a more regular basis, doing fun activities (axe throwing, escape rooms, random fun), going to concerts and comedy shows, art galleries and museums, saying yes to things I want to do and no to things I really don’t want to do, learning how to do nothing and not feel guilty about that, learning how to spend my money on myself doing things I enjoy and not feeling like I shouldn’t be.

outsidesleeper · 30/10/2023 23:04

Changed my username for this as it would be really recognizable to anyone who knows me irl.

I started sleeping outside - at first it was just in the warmer months - but now I sleep outside winter and summer. I live in the Alps so it does get pretty cold sometimes! It has made a huge difference to me.

Other things that have changed my life for the better are getting rid of my shitbag ex and not getting a new partner.

Not using my phone two days a week and being non-contactable. What a massive relief that is.

Swimming once a week is non-negotiable. No matter what else is going on, a swim session is compulsory!

And long-distance hiking - one major trek a year with tent in the wilderness for 2-3 weeks.

Lolabear38 · 30/10/2023 23:06

I organised my house from top to bottom and did a huge, Stacey Solomon-esque de-clutter. It made a massive difference for me! Being in a clean and organised space makes me fell SO much calmer and clear headed, it’s a lot easier to keep on top of cleaning etc too when I don’t have piles of junk and unused ‘stuff’ everywhere. Having a good clear out was really cathartic too and it’s also made me really think about things I buy and whether or not I actually need them before I buy them so I’ve saved money too.

SinnerBoy · 30/10/2023 23:07

I'd like to say very well done and good for you to the posters who have lots lots of weight! I've been overweight and losing - gaining for most of my life. I hope yous can keep it down!

I was kicked out of school and in care from 14 to 16 and had no qualifications. I was on the dole, or in awful jobs and didn't get a new role in a company I was at, so I did a night class maths GCSE (the maths would have helped).

I was made redundant, so I decided to do some more, at the time, you could do 16 hours college on the dole. One of the lecturers encouraged me to do one more and she wrote a letter to DHSS, saying that my hours were only 16 per week.

At the end of the year, she and three other lecturers "ganged up" on me, to persuade me into doing A-Levels and going to university, which, though full of trepidation, I did.

It got me out of the cycle of unemployment and shitty jobs, it's definitely my best life move.

ElfineHawkMonitor · 30/10/2023 23:07

I always feel my best when I’ve got an ongoing project on the go, for me it’s writing - right now I’m having a go at writing a novel, sometimes I write bits of my ‘memoirs’ (eg my parents’ and grandparents’ backstories), or journaling. I also love putting together photo books and knitting long scarves - ongoing things where you have something to show for it and feel you’re making progress. Could be mastering a new language or instrument, whatever floats your boat.

jenny38 · 30/10/2023 23:14

Got a cleaner after years of thinking about it. Amazing, we argue a lot less at home as not stressed about house.

Getmeoutofheere · 30/10/2023 23:18

Naimee87 · 30/10/2023 19:09

Stopped drinking alcohol completely, running/working out as often as possible, and finally got a dog 😊 also set aside time to read has done wonders for my mental health

I know this is jumping on OP post but how tricky was it to stop drinking alcohol? I don’t really drink much but most social things are based around drink or food with drink . And I pretty much always feel awful after x

Londonlondon4 · 30/10/2023 23:20

Yoga

anon666 · 30/10/2023 23:26

Started cycling round our big city, going to art galleries etc. City breaks, plus local day trips every weekend, one nighters in gorgeous small towns in the south of England.

Taken up needlecrafts and art classes.

jellybeanlover2 · 30/10/2023 23:29

Not more productive but definitely happier- Left horrible narcissist husband & now live with dogs and cats ❤️

porridgeisbae · 30/10/2023 23:38

I'm trying to have more of a structure of daily prayer.

Morning offering prayer, grace with meals, prayer before bed. It helps me feel like there's potential for my life to get more intentional and productive.

Giving up smoking was probably the best thing I did, many years ago.

PP's are also right that it's nice if you have a creative project on the go- I self published a few books and am working on another one.

Anele22 · 30/10/2023 23:54

This is a wonderful thread. Thanks so much for posting, OP. I’m picking up some great ideas.

Mine are joined a dance class. Go to a choir. Doing some voluntary charity work with asylum seekers.

WednesdaysChild50 · 30/10/2023 23:54

Drink less alcohol

WednesdaysChild50 · 30/10/2023 23:55

Not stressing about my weight

stayathomer · 30/10/2023 23:58

Got back in contact with friends and relatives I hadn’t seen a lot of (can’t recommend enough!) bought a swimsuit to make myself start trying to learn to swim again, went back to the dentist after years

SandyLanes · 31/10/2023 00:03

I gave up drinking. It’s been life changing. I’m happier, more positive and more productive than I’ve been in years.

LeilaDarling · 31/10/2023 00:12

A few different things that have made a huge difference and improvement to my life:
gastric bypass surgery followed by breast uplift and full tummy tuck
meditation at night using an app

saying NO to events and invitations I don’t wish to attend or take part in.
All utterly life changing!

OneMorePlant · 31/10/2023 00:25

I started a bullet journal. I had papers everywhere and forget stuff and was financially a mess. Putting everything in one notebook changed my life. I also did my budget, i keep track of it in my bujo, and now my reoccurring bills are all automated, i got savings and I always know how much I have on all my accounts.

I started revising all my possessions and replaced stuff I did not love and got rid of a lot of crap. Looked into interior design things what I like and tips to store stuff in a way that makes my life simpler by making it harder to make a mess.

I got plants.

alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 · 31/10/2023 00:37

Emigrated to Australia. I always hated cold and damp weather so I thrive in all the sunshine. The wages here are high so I was able to buy a house with a swimming pool which makes me happy every time I look at it. Also my Ragdoll cat makes me very laugh a lot every day. My husband isn't bad either, so I'd say marrying him was a pretty good move too in gaining overall life happiness.

Agapornis · 31/10/2023 00:52

TheUltima · 30/10/2023 21:47

Slug moment 😂 I imagine you crawling on the floor covered head to toe in moisturiser. I’d get absolutely covered in fluff and cat hair

Show quote history

Me too 😂thank you @justalittlesnoel for adding 'slug moment' to my life.
I attended a snail identification course once, but had not thought about applying a snail & slug lifestyle to my own life.

I go to silly one-day, low-cost courses. I also throw people on the floor several times a week (martial arts). Took me nearly 40 years to find a sport I enjoy, but it's great, even if I'm not good at it.

SinnerBoy · 31/10/2023 01:10

ElfineHawkMonitor · Yesterday 23:07

I always feel my best when I’ve got an ongoing project on the go, for me it’s writing - right now I’m having a go at writing a novel...

Well, go you! I hope you can finish it and publish.

😊

I've had a go several times, but I always drift away and leave it. My ten year old daughter has one on the go! It's not very good, to be honest, but I am praising and encouraging her to keep at it.

IAmtheVampiresWife · 31/10/2023 01:26

Got rid of people who were negative towards me - life is too short to spend it listening to arseholes.