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AIBU?

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Original poster

Stingy friend send wrong wrong money

410 replies

Rossannah · 29/10/2023 23:15

I have just been away with a friend for 2 nights. An event plus hotel. Cost for the two altogether was £416. I paid for both on my card and told friend to send £200 for her share. She said she would send this weekend, after the event. This was fine.
We went, had a good time. Whilst there, we spent equally. We drank and ate the same. Sometimes paid by round, sometimes separate for eg in a prepay cafe. I don't feel I spent or took any more than my fair share, friend never moaned.
I reckon I spent around £180 in fuel, no mention of this was made, no arrangement for half to be paid by friend and I would have gone alone and spent the same so I was not bothered about paying for fuel myself.
On the way home we stopped at a garage. I filled up the tank, paid at the pump. Friend went in the petrol station and asked if I wanted anything. I gave her an order from subway which was in there, sandwich and drink and some boiled sweets.
We then got on the way. Nice time had by all.
Tonight, she messaged to say she's sent the money she owed. I check and she's put in £290(£90 too much) I reply to say I've got it but it's not what we agreed, confused face, kisses etc ( I did not expect her to pay for petrol) she then goes off on a rant about how she paid for my subway when she went in the petrol station and I didn't offer her any money for it and I was cheeky to expect her to pay for my food. I realised then she had meant to send £190 but has got it wrong.
I wonder how to approach this error given her rudeness and cheekiness over a bloody tenner! Considering I've spent on petrol.
Should I leave it until she realises let her come crawling? Refund her the £100 or £90 as agreed ? No idea. So shocked at her stinginess

I cannot edit the title, I can see the error, haha ironic

OP posts:
Mynewnameis · 30/10/2023 08:42

She is bu. But where did you drive for petrol to cost £180? Canada?

Viviennemary · 30/10/2023 08:43

The whole thing is a complete muddle due to a misunderstanding. You should have corrected her instead of sending that cryptic message. Up, to you if you want the friendship to continue. Why didn't you just point out her mistake and tell her how much you wanted to be paid. Six of one in this case IMHO.

burnoutbabe · 30/10/2023 08:44

How did she know the petrol was £180 -she would only have known the £50 top up on way home? Unless you topped up 4 times during the trip?

SleepingStandingUp · 30/10/2023 08:45

RomeoandJomeo · 30/10/2023 00:14

This is my thinking too.

Show quote history

Of you'd paid petrol on top after being told to only pay event, and someone said this isn't what we agreed smile face, surely you'd said "I've covered my half of the petrol, minus your massive sandwich obvs haha" not "omg you expect me to buy you FOOD, how dare you!!"

The friend totally over reacted which suggests to me she was touchy because she knew knocking off the tenner was a cheeky risk

Mynewnameis · 30/10/2023 08:45

On second thoughts I think this could bea miscommunication and she thought you were having a dig at her after she did pay the correct amount.

squashi · 30/10/2023 08:46

I'd refund her the £10 for the Subway. And another time (if there is one!) be more upfront about wanting petrol money.

almondseagull · 30/10/2023 08:48

NoWordForFluffy · 30/10/2023 05:06

Except the OP didn't ask for more. She queried why £90 extra had been sent. It's a comprehension fail to read that and assume she's asking for more.

Show quote history

No OP said " it wasn't what we agreed" no mention of more of less

smartiesneberhadtheanswer · 30/10/2023 08:49

Any reply OP?

MargotBamborough · 30/10/2023 08:49

Reply as follows, in six separate WhatsApp messages.

Sorry, I got confused!

Shall we just go through the costs again and make sure we've squared up properly?

So, I paid 416 for the event and hotel, and 180 for the petrol, which comes to 596. Your share of 596 is 298, minus the cost of the Subway you kindly bought for me in the petrol station.

Actually you're right, if the Subway was 8 quid then the amount you've paid me is correct after all.

Sorry, what am I like? 😅

Thanks for a lovely weekend anyway, it was really great to spend time together. We should definitely do it again in the future!

helloducky · 30/10/2023 08:51

I know petrol has got very expensive but £180 in fuel is a lot. Have you worked it out with one of those online calculators for mileage/fuel? How would she know that's what it cost you for the actual journey (not just the filling up)?

If you're friends why can't you actually speak to her and clear the air, get to the bottom of the misunderstanding? Both of you need to be clear!

uncomfortablydumb53 · 30/10/2023 08:53

I think she intended to send £290 as the bank app asks you to confirm twice, and you've misinterpreted that as a mistake

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 30/10/2023 08:54

It depends here if the amount you filled up petrol with was all used up on your journey home. If it’s not then she’s paid half or whatever of a tank of petrol for your own use as well as the trip.

Send back the money for Subway.

You should’ve been clearer and made sure (if this was the case, you’re driving etc). When I go away with friends and I drive or they drive we split petrol costs and ones not driving will often get driver a coffee, pay for drink out etc as a thank you.

beastlyslumber · 30/10/2023 08:57

It's a bit confusing, tbf. But I assume she already took the £10 off for the subway, so I would have just responded saying, no problem, I see you've deducted the money for my sandwich already, thanks for squaring everything up. And then never speak to her again.

pumpkintits · 30/10/2023 08:59

I am emotionally invested in what the OPs friend will say when she realises she sent too much 😂 cheeky fuckers everywhere.

Toomanycaketins · 30/10/2023 09:02

Banana1979 · 30/10/2023 02:28

This is childish
Just call her and speak to her about it
you both went and had a lovely time enjoyed each others company . rather than fall out over money just talk to her
sometimes the tone of text messages can be misconstrued

This,

particularly if you didn’t make it clear when you queried the amount that you were saying she’d paid too much and not too little. Isn’t it best to assume a misunderstanding and try to put it right rather than losing a friendship over a sandwich?

BrakeLights · 30/10/2023 09:03

You say she's stingy so this is probably not the case but is there a possibility that she sent you £290 on purpose to cover her share of petrol but believes you are asking for more (maybe there's a cup of coffee of something that you paid for her that she thinks you want to be included) and that's why she's going off on a rant?

I'd just clarify what you meant:

" Hi possiblyStingyFriend. I'd meant that you paid me too much as I wasn't going to charge you for petrol. If you prefer I'm also happy to split the bill exactly so your share is 290 and I owe you £10 for lunch. Is there anything else I have forgotten?"

NorthernSpirit · 30/10/2023 09:10

God I hate meanness!

• 50% of the hotel bill was £208
• 50% of the fuel was £90.

So she owes you £298.

• She paid £10 for your Subway - so when she does message you I’d tell her she still owes you £2.

Longtimelurkerfinallyposts · 30/10/2023 09:10

YABVU
You came on here at 23:15 and asked everyone for advice, based on one text that you'd received from your 'friend'.
You then ignored almost all the queries and suggestions on this thread, and didn't bother calling your travel buddy to clarify anything, but just transferred another £10 to her (less than half an hour after your OP). Why bother starting the thread?

Newtonianmechanics · 30/10/2023 09:12

I would have probably just left it and not even text that isn't what was agreed. Especially as you were not out of pocket.

Ceebeegee · 30/10/2023 09:14

I think she has overracted but I think your message has been misinterpreted.

£200 was agreed. She sent £290.
Your message : "I've got it but it's not what we agreed, confused face, xx" - I would interpret that message as you are saying I haven't paid enough.
So, she's now annoyed that she has paid more than agreed and instead of receiving a message like "thank you for sending me £90 extra, you didn't have to, but thank you" she thinks you're having a go for her not paying enough!

justteanbiscuits · 30/10/2023 09:15

I'm still aghast you managed to spend £180 on petrol over one weekend!!! That's around 1000 miles in an average car!!!

HolidayHollie · 30/10/2023 09:17

This is quite amusing in a way. I know someone like this. She wouldn't be so blatantly rude like that but definitely doesn't want to feel she's paying over and above but happy to ignore the petrol she doesn't contribute to etc.

Its funny she overpaid though if that's what's happened!

Absolutely reply with something along the lines of "I assume that was for half the petrol hence the rant about paying for my £10 sandwich as well"

Sandalholidays12 · 30/10/2023 09:19

Is it definitely a mistake though before you jump the gun? If so send her the money back, I don't know know why you paid for an event upfront and the friend waited till the actual weekend to give you the money back... and still didn't. This is your friends fault I hate people who expect you to book things and assume you can just afford to be hundreds of pounds down until they are ready to send you the money back.

Tell her straight that's its an audacity and you were doing her a favour in the 1st place. Moaning about a Subway but she didn't offer towards petrol?? Definitely pont this part out to her.

NashvilleQueen · 30/10/2023 09:19

The petrol thing amazed me too

WhiskerPatrol · 30/10/2023 09:19

YANBU. Download an app like Splitwise or Tricount, enter everything you both spent into it, send her a screenshot of the final calculation and settle up accordingly.

I always use Tricount when travelling with friends, even non-stingy ones! Easiest way to make sure everything is fair and avoid awkwardness.