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Original poster

Stingy friend send wrong wrong money

410 replies

Rossannah · 29/10/2023 23:15

I have just been away with a friend for 2 nights. An event plus hotel. Cost for the two altogether was £416. I paid for both on my card and told friend to send £200 for her share. She said she would send this weekend, after the event. This was fine.
We went, had a good time. Whilst there, we spent equally. We drank and ate the same. Sometimes paid by round, sometimes separate for eg in a prepay cafe. I don't feel I spent or took any more than my fair share, friend never moaned.
I reckon I spent around £180 in fuel, no mention of this was made, no arrangement for half to be paid by friend and I would have gone alone and spent the same so I was not bothered about paying for fuel myself.
On the way home we stopped at a garage. I filled up the tank, paid at the pump. Friend went in the petrol station and asked if I wanted anything. I gave her an order from subway which was in there, sandwich and drink and some boiled sweets.
We then got on the way. Nice time had by all.
Tonight, she messaged to say she's sent the money she owed. I check and she's put in £290(£90 too much) I reply to say I've got it but it's not what we agreed, confused face, kisses etc ( I did not expect her to pay for petrol) she then goes off on a rant about how she paid for my subway when she went in the petrol station and I didn't offer her any money for it and I was cheeky to expect her to pay for my food. I realised then she had meant to send £190 but has got it wrong.
I wonder how to approach this error given her rudeness and cheekiness over a bloody tenner! Considering I've spent on petrol.
Should I leave it until she realises let her come crawling? Refund her the £100 or £90 as agreed ? No idea. So shocked at her stinginess

I cannot edit the title, I can see the error, haha ironic

OP posts:
Theokaycokey · 30/10/2023 08:00

My assumption was that she intended to pay £290 and then you quibbled it and she thought you wanted more, which she thought was cheeky. It could well be a miscommunication.

ilovesushi · 30/10/2023 08:06

Hasn't she sent you the correct money - £200 for her share of the trip and £90 for half the petrol? I don't get why you think she has underpaid unless I am missing something obvious.

BardRelic · 30/10/2023 08:08

She likely added 90 quid for the petrol, and took 10 quid off for the sandwich.

That would be 280. The whole thing is a bit odd. If she's being careful with money, why the mistake? If she wanted to pay for petrol, why not pay there and then at the pump, since she was going into the garage. It's almost as if the only way to find out is to phone her and ask her. And to talk properly, instead of sending texts back and forth, which can be misinterpreted very easily.

SkinnyMalinkyLankyLegs · 30/10/2023 08:09

"No, I meant that you'd sent me extra, I didn't realise you were going to cover your half of the petrol. Much apreciated as the cost of fuel is so expensive at the moment and I didn't realise how much it would cost to actually get us there and back. I'll send you on the tenner for my subway".

Mirabai · 30/10/2023 08:10

jesshomeEd · 29/10/2023 23:20

I'd say no problem, £200 for your share of the £416 for event/hotel, plus £90 for your share of fuel - I'll send you £10 for my Subway.

This.

Emotionalsupportviper · 30/10/2023 08:11

Finetoday · 30/10/2023 05:51

When my friend drives me anywhere, I buy the petrol and her lunch/snacks.
It’s in The Highway Code I think.

Grin
Trevorton · 30/10/2023 08:12

HoHoHoliday · 29/10/2023 23:31

"I realised then she had meant to send £190 but has got it wrong."

What makes you think this? Did she say herself that she meant to send £190 but got it wrong or have you assumed?
It looks to me as though you agreed £200 for half of the event/hotel and she's added another £90 for half of the petrol.
You've then complained, and implied that she should pay more, so she has argued back to point out she paid for your subway.
Sounds like a miscommunication to me.
But since she's aid you for her share of everything you should pay her for your subway.

This

Debtfreegoals · 30/10/2023 08:14

Are you sure she made an error? It looks to me that she paid the accurate amount (forget the subway) £200 + £90. I think you’re assuming she’s made an error and she probably thinks you’re moaning and want more. Just double check OP

crumblylancs · 30/10/2023 08:15

I would have just replied saying I meant it was more than what I expected, not less.. you transferred £290. Sorry I only realise now that you must have sent half of the fuel costs too. Ive transferred £10 to you for the subway.

Debtfreegoals · 30/10/2023 08:15

Theokaycokey · 30/10/2023 08:00

My assumption was that she intended to pay £290 and then you quibbled it and she thought you wanted more, which she thought was cheeky. It could well be a miscommunication.

I also think this.

TentChristmas · 30/10/2023 08:16

I read this differently. I read it as she has given you the £200 as requested and also the £90 for half the fuel. You thought she overpaid but she read your message as accusing her of not giving enough. That’s when she references the subway as you didn’t pay for when she thinks and knows she’s given you what you asked.

Humbugg · 30/10/2023 08:16

Keep the £90 as petrol money.

Newtonianmechanics · 30/10/2023 08:18

Also intrigued how many miles £180 got you and if you spent the whole weekend driving?

Also curious how sad you are to lose her as a friend?

Uggquestion · 30/10/2023 08:19

I would have nothing more to do with her.

Pottedpalm · 30/10/2023 08:22

I think you have misunderstood. Why not TALK to her???

Scalottia · 30/10/2023 08:24

I am not sure that it was an error. When I make transfers my bank seems to think I am an idiot that might type the wrong amount - I have to check my amount and click ok more than once to make a transfer. Just talk to her OP.

OrnateFruiteDove · 30/10/2023 08:25

I see you have sent the 10 pound for the subway. In terms of messaging, I would just be honest and say:

'I actually thought you had sent me too much money (not too little), having thought about it though I can see you have added contribution for fuel which I wasn't expecting - thank you. I have sent the 10 pound for the subway - I had previously just deducted this from the fuel costs as I wasn't planning on asking for those. Seems we are all square now.'

PlaidCushionProductions · 30/10/2023 08:26

Because she is a CF i’d itemise the spend /2 and send her the £2 she’s overpaid for the subway.

MinnieL · 30/10/2023 08:28

Imagine sending £100 more by accident when you’re already being a CF🤣 she’ll be pissed as soon as she realises! Good on you for only sending a tenner OP

fruitstick · 30/10/2023 08:29

I use an all called Splitwise.

You put in all your expenses plus how much each person has paid and it sorts out who owes what.

Maybe say you're sorry she's annoyed and clearly it needs to be sorted out. Put in all your expenses, ask her to put in the £10 subway and she'll probably still end up owing you even after the £290 fuck up.

Stormyseas82 · 30/10/2023 08:30

Whatisforthebest · 30/10/2023 07:55

@NoWordForFluffy except she didn't query why there had been an extra £90 sent, she only stated that it wasn't the agreed amount followed by confused emojis. Now to one person receiving that it could read that as "I'm confused why you sent so much when I only asked for £200" but I'm hazarding a guess that the friend here that received it read it as "I'm confused why you've only sent £290"

That's the issue, the OP sent the initial response which, in her mind conveyed that she was confused why her friend had transferred £90 more than agreed however it seems like the friend has read it thinking she was looking for more money and is getting aggrieved that she thought she was doing the right thing by sending extra for fuel.

This is exactly how I read it!

OrnateFruiteDove · 30/10/2023 08:32

I think some people too quick to go down the road of 'never have anything to do with her again', it could just be a misunderstanding. If someone had questioned the amount I transferred - the first thing I would do would be to check the amount I had sent (in case I had made an error). So it could be that she intended to send 290 and then saw your message and misunderstood it as you saying she had not sent enough.

Your initial message wasn't clear - no criticism there just fact. It was ambiguous and I would have also probably interpreted that to mean you didn't think I sent enough (as if you thought I had sent too much surely you would have just said that -rather that what can perceived as a 'passive aggressive' comment about not sending enough).

PosterBoy · 30/10/2023 08:35

OrnateFruiteDove · 30/10/2023 08:25

I see you have sent the 10 pound for the subway. In terms of messaging, I would just be honest and say:

'I actually thought you had sent me too much money (not too little), having thought about it though I can see you have added contribution for fuel which I wasn't expecting - thank you. I have sent the 10 pound for the subway - I had previously just deducted this from the fuel costs as I wasn't planning on asking for those. Seems we are all square now.'

This is a nice message - how about sending this today, op?

OMGitsnotgood · 30/10/2023 08:37

I'm confused as to why so many people think friend is a CF? We need OP to come back and explain the £180 for fuel. Friend might be as gobsmacked as many of us are at how much fuel was used in one weekendb. She might think OP has over exaggerated the cost and has mentioned the subway to offset some of that cost?

AutumnIsMyFriend · 30/10/2023 08:41

Where did you travel two for two nights that cost £180 in fuel?