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Original poster

Stingy friend send wrong wrong money

410 replies

Rossannah · 29/10/2023 23:15

I have just been away with a friend for 2 nights. An event plus hotel. Cost for the two altogether was £416. I paid for both on my card and told friend to send £200 for her share. She said she would send this weekend, after the event. This was fine.
We went, had a good time. Whilst there, we spent equally. We drank and ate the same. Sometimes paid by round, sometimes separate for eg in a prepay cafe. I don't feel I spent or took any more than my fair share, friend never moaned.
I reckon I spent around £180 in fuel, no mention of this was made, no arrangement for half to be paid by friend and I would have gone alone and spent the same so I was not bothered about paying for fuel myself.
On the way home we stopped at a garage. I filled up the tank, paid at the pump. Friend went in the petrol station and asked if I wanted anything. I gave her an order from subway which was in there, sandwich and drink and some boiled sweets.
We then got on the way. Nice time had by all.
Tonight, she messaged to say she's sent the money she owed. I check and she's put in £290(£90 too much) I reply to say I've got it but it's not what we agreed, confused face, kisses etc ( I did not expect her to pay for petrol) she then goes off on a rant about how she paid for my subway when she went in the petrol station and I didn't offer her any money for it and I was cheeky to expect her to pay for my food. I realised then she had meant to send £190 but has got it wrong.
I wonder how to approach this error given her rudeness and cheekiness over a bloody tenner! Considering I've spent on petrol.
Should I leave it until she realises let her come crawling? Refund her the £100 or £90 as agreed ? No idea. So shocked at her stinginess

I cannot edit the title, I can see the error, haha ironic

OP posts:
Ibravedaflood · 30/10/2023 12:20

Just been to Mull from NE. Spent 300 on fuel..

Riola · 30/10/2023 12:25

Seaweed42 · 30/10/2023 11:45

Why did you not offer to pay for the Subway and stuff at the petrol station?
That was weird behaviour on your part.
She might be calling you Stingy friend.

Maybe Because in her mind she was already covering the entire cost of travel. The friend hadn’t said she’d pay anything towards petrol at that point . So she might have assumed her friend was trying to be halfway decent by paying for a Subway since she was getting to travel free

Tbh if my friend drove us a long distance, even if I had split the petrol costs with them, I’d still be happy to get them a free sandwich for the fact they’re the one driving while I get to relax in the passenger seat.

Sweetpeasaremadeforbees · 30/10/2023 12:38

OP when you responded with the confused face etc did you say that she'd paid more than you expected? If not, I agree with other posters, she deliberately paid you more to cover petrol so no wonder she's pissed off if you appear to be suggesting that it isn't enough. If that's the case, if I was her I too would be petty and ask you to pay for the Subway.

PosterBoy · 30/10/2023 13:13

I really can't see how anyone, when asked to pay £200 and actually paying £290, would think a message saying 'you haven't paid what we agreed ' would mean they hadn't paid enough.

It's quite possible she got confused and thought it was £300 each though, and she's deducted the £10 for Subway. She knew it was cheeky, hence the aggressive response. So she may never realise it was meant to be £200 each.

Custardslices · 30/10/2023 13:13

Why did she not pay you £280 and take the tenner herself off for subway?

WonderingWanda · 30/10/2023 13:21

Reply and say, I think we got our wires crossed. What I meant was thank you for the money, I appreciate the extra but you didn't need to, we'd only agreed that you'd pay 200. I wasn't implying you should have paid me more and sorry it came across that way. It was generous of you to add the fuel money.

Tighginn · 30/10/2023 13:26

Is this what the holiday fund was spent on?

Honeyroar · 30/10/2023 13:34

I don’t think she accidentally paid too much. Banks ask you to check a few times before you press the send button, it would be hard to not notice. I think she’d probably sent you petrol money and deducted some for the sandwich. And your “you’ve paid the wrong amount” didn’t say it was too much. It sounds like a mess due to poor communication on both sides.

JudgeJ · 30/10/2023 13:44

Ibravedaflood · 30/10/2023 12:20

Just been to Mull from NE. Spent 300 on fuel..

I've done Edinburgh and back, about 375 miles each way, for under £120, I drive an old 2 litre car.

Sweetpeasaremadeforbees · 30/10/2023 13:48

I really can't see how anyone, when asked to pay £200 and actually paying £290, would think a message saying 'you haven't paid what we agreed ' would mean they hadn't paid enough.

I would. I don't understand why the OP didn't mention in her text that she thought that her friend had paid too much, seems like a huge omission to me. Huge misunderstandings all round.

Hibambinos · 30/10/2023 13:55

Overthebow · 29/10/2023 23:18

Wait until she realises then say you thought she had paid you extra to cover her half of the petrol.

Edited

This!! I would absolutely do this.

cardibach · 30/10/2023 14:18

Ceebeegee · 30/10/2023 09:14

I think she has overracted but I think your message has been misinterpreted.

£200 was agreed. She sent £290.
Your message : "I've got it but it's not what we agreed, confused face, xx" - I would interpret that message as you are saying I haven't paid enough.
So, she's now annoyed that she has paid more than agreed and instead of receiving a message like "thank you for sending me £90 extra, you didn't have to, but thank you" she thinks you're having a go for her not paying enough!

Why would you (and several other posters who have said the same) interpret it like that though? What was agreed was £200. £290 is not what was agreed. It’s more. So how could anyone think the OP was after even more on top? And if you assume the friend intended to pay petrol, then half of that is £90, so how has she deducted the cost of the Subway, which is what her reply suggests? And in any case how did she know how much the petrol cost?

BeetleDeuce · 30/10/2023 14:21

WonderingWanda · 30/10/2023 13:21

Reply and say, I think we got our wires crossed. What I meant was thank you for the money, I appreciate the extra but you didn't need to, we'd only agreed that you'd pay 200. I wasn't implying you should have paid me more and sorry it came across that way. It was generous of you to add the fuel money.

This!! This whole thing is just a text message misinterpretation imo.

cardibach · 30/10/2023 14:23

Fantasea · 30/10/2023 10:25

I also think your friend is including petrol money in the £290 she sent you. As a passenger, she would have easily been able to see how much you were filling up each time and could have just added it up to £180 and then divided by 2.

I wouldn’t do that if I meant to pay for my share though - I’d ask. The car might have been full before we started, or half full or whatever and that petrol would have been paid for by my friend earlier. I’d ask her to let me know how much was used for the trip so I could square up.

cardibach · 30/10/2023 14:24

MILLYmo0se · 30/10/2023 10:22

Are you certain that she didnt think you were asking for more money in your first text? Thats how I would have read it

Can you explain why? The agreed amount was £200. What is the thought process that reads ‘that’s not what we agreed’ when you’ve sent £290 as a request for more? It doesn’t make sense.

Iwantthistobemyyear · 30/10/2023 14:26

Sounds like her subconscious got the better of her when she typed 2! I mean, you don't even owe her for the sandwich because you reduced how much for her to pay in the first place which covers the sandwich. I'd ask her if she wants to chip in for petrol and if she doesn't, refund her £90 and never go away with her again. Don't make yourself out of pocket for this woman!

Sweetpeasaremadeforbees · 30/10/2023 14:26

Why would you (and several other posters who have said the same) interpret it like that though? What was agreed was £200. £290 is not what was agreed. It’s more. So how could anyone think the OP was after even more on top?

Because most people would thank their friend if they'd paid more than necessary? The OP didn't, just said they were confused.

maddening · 30/10/2023 14:27

Well handled op! 👏

cardibach · 30/10/2023 14:28

Sweetpeasaremadeforbees · 30/10/2023 14:26

Why would you (and several other posters who have said the same) interpret it like that though? What was agreed was £200. £290 is not what was agreed. It’s more. So how could anyone think the OP was after even more on top?

Because most people would thank their friend if they'd paid more than necessary? The OP didn't, just said they were confused.

She didn’t pay more than necessary. She paid more than agreed. Which is what the OP said, with a x
I’d interpret that as her recognising it was more than agreed.

Iwantthistobemyyear · 30/10/2023 14:31

İ don't think you should have refunded her £10 for subway because technically she owed you 208 for the event. Did she know you had already taken on the extra £16 cost for the event? İf she's paid for petrol and wants to be picky about the subway, after you already discounted her the event stay, then send her £2.

BurbleBumleBleep · 30/10/2023 14:33

Hopefully she'll block you before she realises what she has done!

When she comes back to say she's given you too much say " Yes, I told you it wasn't what we agreed didn't I. Right before you accused me of ripping you off".

And then nothing.

And when she goes on about small claims court etc just text her " Half the petrol . But here's £10 back for the subway I thought was the thanks for driving"

MILLYmo0se · 30/10/2023 14:35

cardibach · 30/10/2023 14:24

Can you explain why? The agreed amount was £200. What is the thought process that reads ‘that’s not what we agreed’ when you’ve sent £290 as a request for more? It doesn’t make sense.

Show quote history

Cos none of it makes sense to me tbh, if a friend gave me too much much Id send back the extra and msg that they sent too much not, 'thats not what we agreed'

Mammyloveswine · 30/10/2023 14:35

TentChristmas · 30/10/2023 08:16

I read this differently. I read it as she has given you the £200 as requested and also the £90 for half the fuel. You thought she overpaid but she read your message as accusing her of not giving enough. That’s when she references the subway as you didn’t pay for when she thinks and knows she’s given you what you asked.

I read it like this too!

BurbleBumleBleep · 30/10/2023 14:45

Mammyloveswine · 30/10/2023 14:35

I read it like this too!

Show quote history

That makes no sense either though. If you've agreed £200 and you give your friend more on purpose, you know they are only expecting £200. So any message from the friend about confusion is exactly that. There's no "missing money" when you've paid extra.

It only makes sense if you know your friend is expecting £200 but you've taken £10 off unilaterally.

Sweetpeasaremadeforbees · 30/10/2023 14:46

she didn’t pay more than necessary. She paid more than agreed. Which is what the OP said, with a x
I’d interpret that as her recognising it was more than agreed.

The OP didn't say to her friend that she had paid more than agreed. (Unless there's some huge drip feed that the OP did say that and did thank her.)

Anyway that is irrelevant. The point is that most people would thank someone if the person had chosen to pay more than agreed because they didn't want their friend to lose out. Instead the OP gave a response that was open to different interpretations and immediately assumed that her friend had overpaid.