Husband won’t call grandchild by his name

[Blyther]

our grandchild (5 months) has an unusual name. It’s a made up name which is a bit ‘out there’- think along the lines of ‘starry-Skye’ or ‘misty-bridge’. Our daughter in law is a bit whacky.

It’s of course entirely up to the parents to choose the name of their child but my husband won’t even say his name as it makes him cringe so much. He refers to the baby as ‘the little one’ or will call him by his middle name.

It’s now become apparent to the parents how he refuses to use his name and it’s causing an atmosphere. I just don’t know what to say to them as I completely understand his point and feel very sorry about the potential bullying he (the baby) is likely to encounter further down the road.

Advice on moving forward please.

Of those, only 'Arse'/'Arsenal' is really an issue.

Button is fine, as is Louis, Dickie and Peace. Why would he have to further shorten them like you have?

Nope, my kid has a top 10 most popular name that is at least 500 years old. But still think that refusing to use your own grandchild's name is not conducive to a good relationship with the family.

He needs to realise that both parents picked and use this name. All this guff about the wacky DIL and her being a bully is just a distraction.
This!Both parents have chosen a wacky name.

I don't understand why people saddle their children with names that are all about the parents' ego, especially when it's obvious that the name has been chosen because the parents want to be unique and different and not like the other parents. But it's not the poor child's fault their parents want to feel special.

My guess is Button Moon.

I wonder if the parents are Mr and Mrs Spoon?

Honestly you are both just going to have to learn to live with the name.

Not your choice and you will get used to it.

@CynicalOne

'I nearly fell off my chair when Genghis Khan was called up to collect his good behaviour and helpfulness certificate!'

This has made my day. I'm lying on the sofa feeling really ill, and this made me laugh out loud. Thank you!

My mother (who I thought didn't have dementia) just this morning said "Good morning Robert" to my DH when he got up.

She's lived with us for 5 years and his name is Sebastien 😂

Exactly. And I ’m quite sure they haven’t named their child “arse” 🙄
The OP won’t tell us his name because I guarantee it’s not nearly as ridiculous as she’s making out.
Also, peace sounds absolutely nothing like piss 😳

So what is wrong with just calling him Button then?

Sorry, that was in reply to this

I forget the 'Reply' button doesn't work

My parents ruined my sons chosen middle name as they said they wouldn't call my son by his first name;my sons name isn't even "out there" it's the common shortened version of a male name that can also be unisex but with a slightly different spelling.

The middle name was my late brothers name;it upset me to think of my parents calling him that we changed it to the middle name of my sons late great grandad.

I did get to use said middle name with my second son;his name is short and very common so my parents couldn't be arses over it.

It's really rude. They had their choice of names when they had their own children. I'm assuming your son is Robin/Robyn, Francis/Frances sort of thing.

Parents put a lot of thought into a child's name - to ignore their choice is rude and arrogant.

I’m not sure what happened to him because he was younger than my DC’s and didn’t go their high school so 🤷🏽‍♀️

There’s a guy who works locally and his name is Bon Jovi and he works with Tenko 🤣

What's going to happen when the kid gets older. He can't keep calling him the "little one".

It's not a term of endearment at all. It's a way of insulting and controlling. And you obviously just don't like your DIL OP. Tread carefully in your relationship with yhem all if you want to be welcomed into their family unit.

It's so weird that YOU also mock your grandchilds name. Why did you even post ?

I reckon it's ocean. Perfectly easy to say without laughing.

Without knowing the name, how can anyone 'judge' how out there and ridiculous it is?
Of course your husband can use a nickname but he's a bit of a dick if he can't say the child's name without laughing. Probably time to grow up.

He needs to separate the fact that they have chosen a name that he thinks (maybe correctly!) is ridiculous from the fact that that IS the child’s name. And if he is worried about bullying etc he needs to cast his imagination forward a few years and think about how much worse any name-related bullying will feel for his grandchild if his own grandad can’t say his name. Stupid, selfish man.

Practical suggestion; he uses the name with you, privately and often and allows himself to laugh/sneer as much as he wants. It will soon become normal or at least unfunny.

I am absolutely dying to know the name !

Shortened to Butt. OP didn't say the shortened version is a swear word, she said it's rude (not that I think Butt is particularly rude, but I maybe wouldn't call someone it).

Quite simply, your husband either gets over himself or you run the risk of not knowing the grandchild at all. Regardless of what you think of the name, you need to respect that it's what the child is called. If the child has problems growing up, that's on the mother, in the meantime you need to be enforcing a strong sense of self in the child, helping them overcome any issues as they grow up.

Be the better person in all of this before you no longer have to worry about speaking the child's name when you have no contact.