Tradesman Asked Me Out

[Creepy23]

I bought my first home recently and hired a company to complete part of the work I couldn't do myself. Met the sales manager very briefly twice to select the product.

He asked for my spare keys on the Friday so they could start early on Monday while I was at work. OK - gave them. Once he called to say the work was complete mid-day on Tuesday, I asked him to put the keys through my letter box before they left.

Instead he said he 'didn't know where he'd be that day' and asked to go to my work. I didn't respond. The next day he put the keys through my door. I made the full payment remotely and confirmed with a screenshot.

On Thursday morning, I received the following text out of the blue. I honestly found it shocking since I'd shown zero romantic interest in him, we'd only discussed the work and he appeared to be significantly older. Also pretty creepy that he had my keys and had hung onto them so he'd have an excuse to see me again.

I just didn't respond, blocked the number and changed my privacy settings. I've decided to do the other work in the house myself.

YABU - It's fine for men to ask you out once the job is complete
YANBU - It's creepy because he had your keys for days, knows where you live and lacks boundaries.

I don’t think he has done much wrong, apart from being unprofessional. Some people just have poor boundaries.

However, he has made you feel uncomfortable, and that’s understandable too.

I really wouldn’t give it another thought, unless he contacts you again.

It's not hysterical, it's looking at a situation and considering your own personal safety.
He kept pushing to see her and was clearly getting no postive signals back whilst he had keys to her address and still asked her out using the number he only had due to being hired in a working capacity.
Not every man is a wrong one but I look at what men do and say to make an assessment on their character to keep myself safe.
This one is entitled and pushy, not a man I would feel comfortable with tbh.

God, he just asked you out, ffs. Such dramatics from you

So @Electro79 if a woman said "just put the keys through the door"

Then ignored your request for her work address

Would you think she was interested in having anything but a professional working relationship with you?

And would you ask her out after she stopped replying to your texts?

If you recognise the red flags so well, then you should have not stayed silent on him asking your office address. You shouldve told him that you are not comfortable sharing that and since you knew he was at your home in that moment, you should have insisted on leaving keys in the mailbox.

Maybe he wanted to hand the keys over in person?

Yanbu I'd be uncomfortable to it might be all innocent but I'd be changing my locks.

I can't see the harm. He only asked you to go for a coffee not if he could move in. You said no. End of story.

The text in itself was OK I think. Just one polite text asking for a coffee (though any such text is always going to be creepy if you're not attracted to the other person).

The asking to go to your work wasn't OK. I think if he had hung on to your keys hoping to meet you at home, that might even be OK (again in the scenario that he's attractive, to avoid double standards). But going to your work is crossing a boundary.

So, either you paid by card using a machine, in which case the tradesman does not have your card details, or you paid over the phone, he wrote down your details and put the payment through, at which point he should destroy those details.

Any remote operator could in theory steal your card details and defraud you, this guy has only asked you for a coffee, that doesn't make him a/ a rapist or b/ a fraudster.

I appreciate you are shaken by your previous relationship, and good for you exiting that, but just politely decline.

If the chap persists, then there is a problem, but until then the poor guy has done nothing wrong.

I think asking you out after the job is done is fine, his message asking you wasn't creepy in my opinion. Lots of women here write posts about fancying or wanting to ask the tradesman out. If you are not interested just decline his invitation.

People seem to hate online dating but it also seems to be frowned on to ask anyone out in real life!

Agree with this.

Unless you ignored or said no and he carried on what has he actually done wrong ?

That's not up to him, op instructed him twice to put the keys through the door.

Again, he felt entitled to override the request of the op who was paying for the work done.

Why did he want to hand the keys over in person @adriftinadenofvipers?

Or maybe he wanted to make a copy.
I think I watch to many serial killer documentarys

Totally creepy and inappropriate. I would change my locks!

Oh come off it - he suggested a coffee!!!

Could even be your husband for all I know.

Very rude and strange response.

Erm, it's easy - so that the OP couldn't deny getting them???

Fuck me op you sound hard work 😱He asked you out, if you don’t want to go just say thanks but no. What a load of hysterical nonsense some of you come up with - no bloody wonder men don’t want to ask women out nowadays.n

If the property was vacant I wouldn't put the keys through the door, before you know it squatters could be in and in posession of a set of keys.

Equally if a client has expensive locks I insist on handing back keys in person as I don't want to be asked to pay to replace the locks or cylinders if the client for whatever reason doesn't get them.

You are willingly ignoring the context of how he asked op for a coffee which when taken into consideration all add up to not be as simple as " he suggested a coffee! "

You are being disingenuous.

I told him I would collect the keys straight after work.

I'd be tempted to change my locks in case the key was copied

I wonder how some
MNers think relationships start, if someone asking someone else for a coffee once, politely, is perceived is being so creepy and threatening.