To think these are correct table manners or am I just a snob??

[Justintime3]

I was raised with strict table manners, yet I have never been sat at a table with anyone who has the same table manners I do! Are these over the top?

This is what I was taught

1. Do not eat until the person who cooked sits down (excused if the chef says you can start)
2. Do not eat until everyone has their food in a restaurant (excused if the person without their food says you can start)
3. Chew with your mouth closed and do not speak with your mouth full
4. Do not take calls or use your phone at the table. Excuse yourself if you need to
5. Put your knife and fork together at the front of your plate when you are finished
6. Offer the last serving of XYZ to the table before you take it
7. Thank the person who cooked and offer to clean up
8. Elbows off the table
9. Tear bread into small chunks to eat in a restaurant, don't bite off the whole roll

10. Use cutlery correctly

• index finger on top of your knife and fork
• spoons for soup and dessert only. Spoon the soup from the farthest side of the bowl
• load food onto the back of the fork with your knife. (No 'shovelling' as my mum called it)

My mum's always been really strict on it and is the type to point out people's bad table manners so I've always followed these to a T. Thoughts? Is this over the top and I'm a snob, or are these just normal to expect?

Because of how I've been raised I can't help but be put off when I see someone without these manners.

Just keen to see how others were raised!

I literally don’t do a single thing on that list, although I never eat anywhere but home and don’t ever have people from dinner.

I always eat at the table, put a small amount of food in my mouth, and stop eating when I am satisfied.

YANBU. These are normal table manners. I can’t stand it when people don’t know the basics and they do things like starting to eat before everyone has been served, adding salt before tasting the food, butttering a whole roll then taking bites out of it, licking fingers (ugh!), swigging a drink with food in mouth (even bigger ugh) … I could go on and on…

Well, good for you.

Well.... I was raised not to speak at the table unless a grown up spoke to me. I had all the above table manners and had to ask to leave the table when finished, but I'll be damned if I tear a roll up when it is fully loaded with as much butter as I can get on it OP :) And I would dip that roll in my gravy or my soup because it did my grandparents proud to see me enjoying food.

Why?

it looks totally fine to bite into a roll. Anyone who cares about how other people are tackling a bloody bread roll are very odd frankly.

Having read this thread though, I am determined to ensure that I cut open and butter any roll I’m served. Just because I know some people (whose opinion of me I don’t care about) will be bothered by it.

This is what I was brought up with , and passed onto my children and grandchildren.

People with dyspraxia need to wear badges.

@Rosejasmine intrigued as to what makes a culture ‘difficult’

A few references here to ‘white people table manners’ - what are ‘black people table manners’? Genuine question! I didn’t know there was a difference between white and black manners.

Have you seen some of the posts on this thread? I was being quite polite describing certain posters like that!

You should do that but only after the host/cook has given you the go-ahead. We ARE British, it would be improper to start without a few pointless verbal exchanges ;)

Sounds like you carry a big burden. Do you send around a questionnaire before you dine with people?
I eat out with 6 friends every month - I couldn't tell you who doesn't what on the op's list - ignorance is bliss!

Standard table behaviour for me and my DC. I can’t imagine anyone sitting at a table gnawing chunks off a bread roll.

Do I fuck carry a big burden 🤣

My grandson had problems holding regular cutlery and holding a pen, his hands seemed to lose strength with cutlery, he started off ok but he’d end up either dropping them or clutching the pen like a dagger with his hand and arm at an odd angle. He was already under the care of s Senco team for dyslexia, they got him into physio to build up the strength in his hands and supplied him with special cutlery and pens, pencils etc. Made a big difference.

Apart from the soup one I also grew up following these and I am teaching DC to do the same - good table manners are so important.

Other than number 9, I agree and use these.

I don’t think this is what the thread is about…

DS had problems holding his knife and fork - actually even reaching his mouth quite often, but for me - enjoying meal times, sitting around the table chatting and eating and not finding the whole thing a chore was more important - they learn the social norms eventually - but overdo the manners thing - well you can see from this thread how fucked up people are, oddly about other people's eating. It's a real shame because eating with other people can be such a pleasure - if you are very uptight about manners - it feels quite limiting and miserable.

You sound like you do - despite your protestations with all your ughs and bigger ughs. Maybe I misread?

Lol 😂

Just finished my dinner of beef stir fry with noodles, I tried to experiment and eat it by pushing onto the back of my fork and it was impossible! Shovel/scoop motion is much easier for pasta/noodle/sloppy dishes.

YANBU these are basic manners and the way I was bought up too

Yes @badlydrawn
it is etiquette to break a roll into pieces, butter a bite size piece and eat.

Manners as per the OP @Justintime3 outlined above actually have a good and courteous reason based on the comfort of your companion diners.

Licking one’s knife is also a total no no in polite company.

Why?