To think it’s sad my ds thinks this ?

[Surprisingcomment]

Ds is 6. The last month or so he keeps asking me questions and making comments ;

‘Why don’t you have a job’
’when will you go to work?’
’Have you ever had a job? What was it?’
’my friends mums all go to work’
etc etc

ive explained to him that my job is looking after him and his siblings - asked him why he keeps asking and he said ‘because I want to know and my friends ask me and even my teacher asked once !’

He doesn’t know I also have a condition that makes working too difficult for me but that was diagnosed after I had decided to be a sahm so probably not relevant anyway .

I just feel a little sad for him that he’s getting questioned about my employment status at age 6 ! I wouldn’t have thought kids would even notice or care about these things

They prob got asked what they wanted to be when grow up

Then teacher prob said what does your mummy and daddy do for a job

To all the kids

I don't understand how Sahm can work 'just as hard' as working parents once their children are at school? Between DH and I we both work full time but juggle to do all the school runs etc and do our extra hours in the evening... With a set up like that I am not sure what a Sahm does that we dont do?

From op's perspective, I'd just find a way to explain your choices to him without criticising other people's. I expect it's just a curiosity about how people's lives differ

When my son was in year 1, we bumped into his teacher at the supermarket and he was gobsmacked. I guess he though my that his teacher lived at school.
I think it's a common age to start thinking about stuff like that. My kids enjoyed finding out info like Jack's mum is actually called Sue and works in Morrisons.
I think that you should talk to your son about the disappointment angle. I doubt that he's disappointed that you are a SAHM, maybe he'd like a cool story to tell when most people have mundane jobs like working in an office.

It’s possible they did something about this in class which has triggered the chat, my youngest cousin is 7 and I know at the start of this year they did a whole topic on different jobs for that half term, at the end of the half term they had a big assembly where they could ask their parents to come in and talk for a few minutes about their job, so it could be that they are doing something similar and he’s heard about other parents different jobs and is now wondering what yours is, and what you are reading as disappointment at you not working could be him just being disappointed if he’s heard crazy stories from other parents jobs that he wanted one of his own to tell, rather than actually being bothered about the work itself

I'd remind him that you did work before having him, and that being a sahm is its own job.
Let him know what you do, and ask him what he wants to do, use it to open a discussion rather than closing it down.

I think he is looking for you to say 'i used to be a firefighter, astronaut, digger driver' etc.

If you said 'i worked in document control ' he'd be equally disappointed.

I think you are putting a weight onto this that doesn't really apply as is coming from your own insecurity.

My kids haven't really a clue what I do (nor does my husband if I'm honest!)

DD's 'star' was her mate's dad who worked in McDonald's and could get them full sets of the Happy Meal toys. That's Taylor Swift to 5 yo children.

Do you have a hobby you can talk about?
"While you re at school i knit "

Ah, but he probably looked disappointed because he wanted a pat answer to give at school and was casting around trying to find one by asking what you did before.

My DC asked similar. I think they do a career thing around that age where they have to talk about jobs - what jobs they’d like to do when they grow up, what jobs their parent(s) do, etc. I just told my DC that I’d done a variety of jobs, but that wasn’t good enough so I settled on what I’d done my training in and told him that as it was an easily recognisable job. I then said I wasn’t doing it at the moment because I was looking after DC and that was a very important job. He didn’t care about that. All he wanted was that one word answer to give his teacher and classmates: nurse, doctor, teacher, engineer, fire officer, postwoman, etc etc.

So, it’s not a judgement on you or disappointment in you, he just wants to know so he can answer the question 😊

A) definitely not young, my kids both were aware of my job title at nursery age, and my 3 year old asks very in depth questions about what my day looks like! 'Yes, but what do you dooooo mummy?'
B) maybe he's disappointed because he wanted you to have a Job like avenger or astronaut, rather than attaching the adult value of disappointed to it

He doesn't understand that being a SAHM is a job. To him a job is a bus driver, firefighter, pilot, etc. Just tell him you don't work because you're lucky not to have to.

They might have had a lesson talking about jobs. I had this once in a year 3 class (ex TA) and one of the girls burst into tears because her mum didn't have a job (she had two younger siblings). I think she just felt a bit left out in that moment, kids don't really understand these things they just want to be the same as their friends. I doubt he feels embarrassed about you.

It's just one of the questions they ask as they learn about things and with an emphasis on jobs being equally portrayed for both sexes, that's what they do. It will be something else next week, maybe understanding people with illnesses and how difficult it is for them to work, so another conversation to help him.to understand the workings of the world? Being a sahm is wonderful for children, you're always there for them and it's not the most thankful job. Would have liked to not have dropped DC at breakfast club then pick them up from afterschool club, the times I was able to take them to school gate and pick up normal time I did feel envious so guess it's all swings and roundabouts. Keep doing what you're doing, absolutely no shame, being a full time Mum and housewife is hard, work is often easier! Xxx

You are projecting. He isn't judging. He is just being curious. He has just realised that people are different. There will be a lot of that. Some mummies work, some children don't have daddies, some children have two mummies. E.t.c. He is exploring this new discovery.

Why haven’t you explained that you have a condition that stops you working?

Don't worry at all - he is at an age where they start to compare and ask questions. I work so I get "How come H's mother can pick him up every day? How come Z's mother can always come on school trips?". There is no choice you could make that won't result in odious comparisons.

Not unusual, I don’t work as I’m a full time carer for my oldest dc and my younger dc know I’m unable to work but still seem sad about it, the other day we was talking about what they wanted to be when older and one of them said “mum wants to be a carer” and they all burst out laughing.

How do you know the OP doesn't have other children at home?

Her OP says her DS is at school but he also has siblings, if they're younger then they'll still be at home so the OP is working just as hard as any other parent.

And regardless of whether or not there are other children at home, being a FT SAHM isn't just sitting twiddling your thumbs all day - you might get everything done around work but perhaps in the OPs house she does all the school runs, household tasks etc during "work hours" so that at 3:30pm she can 100% focus on her kids - spending the evenings doing things I'd love to be able to do like take DD to numerous extra curriculars, sit down for relaxed dinners, help her with homework etc.

I would love to be able to do that; as a working parent I don't have that luxury, but the OP does. I don't expect a gold star and congratulations for going out to work, neither does the OP for being a SAHM but there should be acknowledgement that being a SAHM is a job in and of itself and nothing to be ashamed, embarrassed or disappointed by.

I think it's fine just to say you want to be a Sahm for a calmer easier life.
There's no need to justify it by pretending it's hard work when they are all school age. It's fine to just make that lifestyle choice without apologising for it or claiming it is something it isnt

We focus on the children until they are in bed, then do housework/extra work.

Agree it is distinguishable when you still have preschoolers at home, that is definitely hard work

After a little bedtime chat he got a bit tearful and said he just wants to go to breakfast club because they have cereal and so I really should get a job then he can go, and he would quite like me to be a vet 😂

It seems your options are vetinary training or buy some rice crispies, OP 😂

Surely you can sort some vet training out by the morning ;-)

My 5 year old son knows a lot about my job and is always really interested when i get home. I had a sad day yesterday and my son helped me make a little something to mark it.

He is also very aware what his dad does too.

Now I know why he was so disappointed 😢 I have been trying different (healthier) breakfasts since September (overnight oats, porridge, banana pancakes and breakfast muffins and a berry selection ) seems all he wants is cereal and to play games for an hour before school ! I honestly thought maybe one of the other parents had said something and their dc had picked up on it And asked ds but no he just wants to go to breakfast club 😂

I had the opposite. My DD 5 asked why I got to work and not drink coffee with the other mums 🤣